


Love Thread

by mybigfatcat



Category: DBSK | Tohoshinki | TVfXQ | TVXQ
Genre: (I've just not gotten to finishing the epilogue yet), (this is safe to read - there's no cliffhanger), +++MAIN STORYLINE COMPLETED+++, Canon, Chaptered, Clueless Jung Yunho (DBSK), Clueless Shim Changmin, Domestic Fluff, Eventual Romance, Fluff, Happy Ending, Light Angst, M/M, Pining, Romantic Comedy, Roommates, Slow Burn, Sort Of, The smut will happen in the epilogue
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-12
Updated: 2020-05-08
Packaged: 2021-03-01 19:21:16
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 41,369
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23612212
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mybigfatcat/pseuds/mybigfatcat
Summary: Who knew cats could be arsonists? Or that water pipes can actually disintegrate inside the walls? Or that floor heating can destroy wooden floors? Yunho’s apartment seemingly seeks revenge on him while he tries to solve yet another problem- the problem in question being the lonely life that his band mate Changmin is leading. Can Yunho fix his apartment, successfully survive living off of Changmin’s “couch”, AND find Changmin a date that sticks?
Relationships: Jung Yunho/Shim Changmin
Comments: 79
Kudos: 85





	1. Or; Homeless but not Loveless

**Author's Note:**

> DISCLAIMER: I do not claim that the events taking place in this story are real, nor do I own the characters, but the story is completely mine. This is not intended for commercial purposes. Please do not copy to another site without permission.
> 
> This is the first chapter of a long-ish fanfic I've had in my drafts for almost two years. It's basically completed already but it needs an ending and I have to edit the rest of the chapters. If this works out well then I'll post the chapters as I finish editing them. I set the rating of this story as high as it gets in later chapters and I'll add more tags and characters as the story goes.
> 
> The plot takes place during 2018/2019 but with some differences from how it really went down since I had already written the story when new activities were announced. But I don't think it will matter all that much for the enjoyment of the story.
> 
> In this now alternate timeline they’ve just come back from working in Japan, they’re preparing for a concert tour and a Japanese album release in the spring of 2019. They’re also gonna participate in award season in Korea to spice up their popularity on their home turf.
> 
> Some characters in the story are completely unnamed, like their managers and such - I’m the most lazy author ever and their names doesn’t really matter since they have no real importance or personality in this story.
> 
> I hope ya’ll enjoy my attempt at writing something entertaining and cute. “Slowburn romances for the people!! \^o^/”
> 
> EDIT (20/4-2020): After some consideration about reader experience and the reader comments I've gotten and seen on other works through the years I've come to the conclusion that many readers find sex scenes very unnecessary. Because of this I've decided that I will not add a sex scene in the main plot, but the things I had planned will instead go into an epilogue. This way you can enjoy the story to its narrative conclusion without a sex scene, and just not read the epilogue if that's not up your alley. But if you like the more erotic elements in fanfiction (as do I) then the epilogue will be there for your enjoyment. But be aware, I will not change the rating on this story because there are mature moments in the story itself, but they are brief.

.

**Love Thread ♡~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~**

Changmin’s apartment is dark, even though thin strips of light make their way from behind the blinds. Changmin hasn’t bothered turning the lights on in the living room and Yunho is sort of grateful because Changmin’s face is scary even if it’s only halfway revealed in the shadows. This was a bad idea. _Is_ a bad idea. He should never have come here, yet here he is. He doesn’t even know why, not in any specific terms anyway. Or specific feelings. He had just known, okay he’d had a hunch, at best a small tingle - that this was where he was supposed to go.

So here he is, standing by Changmin’s couch, making up weird excuses to why he can’t stay in a hotel room. Explaining why he needs to stay in Changmin’s apartment instead. He’s desperately rambling and rubbing his palm together, practically begging.

Which really does beg the question of why he even needs to stay in Changmin’s apartment.

It had all started hours ago, in the middle of the night, with an intermission of Yunho standing on the street.

~~~~~

“Well, the good news is that the fire didn’t spread beyond their apartment, so the fire itself didn’t cause any structural damage,” his landlord informs them as they stand outside Yunho’s manager’s car, all three of them with their arms crossed over their chests. Yunho has a blanket around his shoulders that he really doesn’t need but the fire fighters had insisted and forcefully wrapped it around him.

“And the bad news are...?” Yunho asks even though he kinda doesn’t want to know.

“The bad news is that the water and smoke damages are pretty bad, and the water definitely caused some major issues in the apartments on your floor. It’s an old building, so I’m afraid that they’ve recommended that you can’t return until we’ve repaired the damages,” his landlord says. The arms across his chest now look more defensive than relaxed.

Yunho stares at the man, stares some more, blinks, swallows, changes his weight from one foot to the other, and then he shivers in the cold autumn air. He’s only wearing his pajamas underneath the blanket. He hadn’t planned on being woken up at four am by a fire alarm, or to stand on the sidewalk for hours while firemen doused the whole building in water. It seemed surreal, or dreamlike. However unreal it made the situation feel it was actually happening and he really was standing next to his manager as his landlord told him that he couldn’t return home.

“But we can go back inside and... get some things?” Yunho’s manager asks, his voice sounds sort of distant, as if Yunho is inside a bubble and everyone else is outside of it.

Yunho has to pinch himself in the arm, discreetly, to drag his mind from the bubble-like state. It unsurprisingly hurts. Wow this is really happening, he thinks.

His landlord nods at his manager and points at one of the firemen.

“He’ll take you.”

The building is unsurprisingly wet, smells of smoke, and is littered with firemen. The door to his apartment is open when they get there, they must have been checking for damage earlier, and Yunho almost laughs when he sees the first glimpse of the inside. The only illumination is the early morning light that comes in through the windows and the flashlights they’ve borrowed, but it’s enough to give him an idea.

The walls, the ceiling, the floors... everything is damaged by the water.

“Oh,” his manager says and aims his flashlight here and there, “oh no.”

“It’s alright,” Yunho says and takes a few careful steps on the wet wooden floor, aware of how his slippers have very little traction on water.

They start gathering Yunho’s personal effects, important (wet) papers from his office, the things in this safe, and some basic clothes from his closet. Hygiene products and makeup from the bathroom. They stuff it all into two suitcases, his manager takes the one with the important paperwork. When they finally leave Yunho realizes that they haven’t exchanged more than a few words between them, if you don’t count the endless sighs - the whole thing is really that depressing.

His manager is frowning awfully hard as he looks over at Yunho.

“So... what will you do? Should I drop you off at a hotel before I go to the offices and sort this mess out?”

Yunho shrugs and gets a better grip on the suitcase as they walk down the corridor. His manager had locked the door and taken the key when they left - the signal of “leave this to me” very clear. Yunho is glad that he won’t have to deal with the insurance companies and contractors and all that confusion right now. There really isn’t any time for him to deal with all this right now. But the most important question facing him is also the trickiest one.

A place to stay.

There had been their shared dorm, but that apartment was occupied since long. His family lived in Gwangju, far too far away for a regular commute... and he could call HoJun who was always so busy with work but-

“Changmin,” he says to himself, hardly even noticing.

“Changmin? Are you crazy, Jung Yunho?” his manager says and stops dead in his tracks. Yunho realizes he’s said it aloud and stops midstep. He turns to face his manager who’s now looking very, extremely, concerned. Even more concerned than when they had stood on the sidewalk earlier.

“Who else?” Yunho asks, slightly defensive.

“Anyone _but_ Changmin? I don’t think he’ll appreciate you showing up at-” his manager pauses and looks at his wristwatch, aiming the flashlight to be able to see, “seven thirty am.”

Yunho feels a bit offended. Of course Changmin would want to help him, they’re a team after all.

Now it’s Yunho’s time to cross his arms over his chest.

“No,” his manager says, exasperation clear in his voice,“no, Yunho. NO.”

Ten minutes later they’re in the car, driving towards Changmin’s place. Yunho had pouted, sulked and muttered as they walked out the building and his manager had punched in Changmin’s address on the GPS in a demonstratively resigned way.

“You’re insane,” his manager keeps muttering as he drives the car.

Of course, there is a very probable risk that Changmin will shut the door in his face once Yunho tries to explain his intention. Maybe Changmin will laugh and push it shut. Such a very, definite, likely and expected reaction could possibly occur. Yunho realizes this. _Knows_ this. But still, Changmin is his only maknae, they’re partners in crime, co-workers, friends, and Yunho would like to think of them as brothers. That really ought to count for something, and Changmin might actually be flattered that he would pick him out of all of his friends to go to when he’s in need of help.

Yunho is aware of the fact that he’s blowing smoke up his own ass.

When they have arrived and he’s halfway out of the car he almost gets back in. Somehow, out of a pure reflex, he makes it out of the car even though his body seems to be in denial. He is standing with the suitcase beside him on the sidewalk, his manager is looking at him through the open door of the passenger seat.

“I’ll set everything up, okay? And I’ll clear the schedule this afternoon. You should get some sleep,” he tells Yunho.

“You too, hyung, get some rest and tell the others not to worry. I’m fine, and I can deal with Changmin no problem,” Yunho says with newfound determination and waves a bit as he closes the car door. When his manager drives away he shakes his head. What has he gotten himself into?

Yunho stands for a minute or two on the sidewalk and looks up at the tall apartment building that Changmin lives in. He’s only ever been here, in front of the building, in a company car waiting for Changmin or dropping Changmin off. It’s a new turf that comes with new rules he realizes as a woman comes out of the main entrance, dressed in designer clothing while wearing expensive heels. He feels scruffy in the smoke drenched sweats he’d changed to while he and his manager were in his apartment.

Why did I even think of this stupid idea? Yunho asks himself but manages to gather some courage. He enters Changmin’s apartment number into the intercom system by the entrance and waits for a reply. It comes a while later, a raspy voice in the cold morning air.

“Hyung? Hyung what’s the matter? Why are you here? Has something-”

“It’s alright, everything is fine,” Yunho cuts him off, he smiles to where he knows the camera is to reassure Changmin and save him from unnecessary panic. “Can you buzz me in?”

There’s a moment of silence, Yunho thinks he can imagine Changmin rubbing his eyes, trying to get his brain to wake up. He remembers Changmin being so cute in the mornings, all soft around the edges and docile. Not that the sharpness of his daytime persona is bad, he’s just different in the mornings. Yunho just misses things like that sometimes.

Times like these when he’s standing out in the cold, begging to be let inside.

“Okay. Off course, come up,” Changmin finally says and the glass door to Yunho’s left buzzes and opens.

“Thanks!” he says happily and launches for the door before it closes again.

The lobby area, main entrance area, or whatever you’d call the large open space with big green plants and walls of marble - is empty. The elevators are polished to a shine, and one of them is still left at the entrance floor. The journey to the eleventh floor is quick, too quick for Yunho’s liking, because he’s not thought of what he’s going to tell Changmin yet.

But here it goes, all or nothing. The hallway outside the elevator spreads out to the left and right and Yunho, after some deliberation, goes right. He only knows Changmin’s apartment number since his manager had told him, and when he spots it down a hallway he hesitates a little. There’s this feeling in his guts... one he can’t put into words. But he’s already gotten himself into whatever this is, so he better just get on with. He reaches Changmin’s door all too quickly. He still has no idea what he’ll say.

_“Surprise, I’m gonna be staying with you for a month!”_

No, that’ll just get him punched in the gut.

_“I missed you, Changdol! Let’s do some bonding before we go back to Japan for work.”_

That would just plain sound like he’s needy. And Jung Yunho is _not_ needy.

Yunho gathers his courage once more, forces himself to smile until he believes it and then he presses the doorbell.

He’s almost convinced that he’ll do great until Changmin opens the door, looking a bit haggard, wearing nothing but his pajama bottoms. Yunho’s mouth goes dry.

“Changminnie, my apartment almost burned down,” he blurts out, quickly and dramatically, as he hurries inside the apartment before Changmin can slam the door shut and lock him outside.

~~~~~

Changmin’s apartment is just as nice, no, even better than how it seemed on TV. Yunho had watched the footage closely as they were in the “I Live Alone” studio, and then he had watched it again at home on his TV. And watched it again on his phone. So he knows the layout, but being there for the first time is different.

The blinds are still drawn, but the lights are on, illuminating the bright and fresh space. It’s very much Changmin, and at the same time nothing like Changmin. Somehow Yunho had always imagined more dark wood and leather chairs.

He has left his suitcase by the door, taken his shoes off and walked inside, heading straight for the couch.

“This is great”, he says and gestures at the windows and the kitchen and the TV. Changmin, who has been following behind Yunho - all impossibly long legs, toned chest and sleep-mussed hair - shakes his head.

“You came all the way here, on the one morning we have no schedule, to shout at me about your apartment burning down and then admire my...” Changmin repeats the same gestures Yunho had done.

“And,” he says with his nose all scrunched up, “you smell!”

“Ah, yeah, about that. So, the apartment above mine caught fire and all the water they used to put the fire out kind of ruined my apartment... so I can’t stay there while they fix it,” Yunho explains while rubbing the back of his neck with his hand.

Changmin stares at him, but he’s quiet, so Yunho soldiers on.

“I thought it’d be convenient, and low profile to, you know... ask if I can stay here with you?”

Changmin seems to unfreeze at that and laughs his nervous laughter, or the incredulous laughter, and sits down on the armrest of the couch. Yunho remains standing. It could’ve gone much worse, Yunho has to give himself that.

“Hyung, you have so many other friends, and I’m sure your insurance company would pay for a hotel. Why are you here, really?” Changmin asks.

Yunho balks a little at that, why _did_ he think of Changmin when his manager asked where he was going to stay? He thinks back and... the answer slips away like water through his fingers. He can always make something up, but it wouldn’t be fair when his maknae is asking him such a serious question.

“Because you’re... Changmin, you’re my Changmin and we used to live together so you already know all of my faults. And I’d go crazy living alone for that long in a hotel room. It’s easier this way,” he says and Changmin, to his surprise, nods defeatedly.

“Okay, you can stay,” Changmin agrees, only to then frown and start to pull Yunho by the arm out of the living room, ”but first you need to get out of those clothes and take a shower because you reek.”

And so it is decided, without any major fuss, that Yunho is to stay with Changmin. Yunho thinks that Changmin almost looks happy as he herds Yunho to the bathroom, instructs him on the use of his shower and almost forgets to leave when Yunho is about to take his clothes off. He’s always liked bossing people around, Yunho thinks and smiles.

He’s just about to wash the shampoo out of his hair when he hears Changmin shout from somewhere outside.

“I’m washing all your clothes!”

Yunho chuckles and moves underneath the showerhead, rinsing away the shampoo suds, and then reaches for the soap.

When he comes out, warm and dry, and with a towel around his waist, Changmin hands him a pile of clothes and sends him right back inside the bathroom.

“It’ll probably fit you,” he says with a sceptical look at Yunho as if he’s not almost the same height and size.

When he emerges the second time he finds Changmin in the kitchen, leaning against the kitchen counter with a glass of water in his hand.

“Changminnie?”

“What?” Changmin asks, looking up at Yunho as if he hadn’t noticed him approaching. Maybe he hadn’t, he had looked deep in thought.

“Can I take a nap on your bed? I woke up at four so I’m a bit tired. My manager said he’d reschedule the meeting we were gonna have today. You can get some more sleep too,” Yunho says and has to stop himself from babbling.

“You’re not gonna offer to take the couch?” Changmin asks knowing full well that Yunho usually always ends up sleeping on his own couch back in his own apartment. Yunho had done that a lot when they lived together too.

Yunho realizes that Changmin has put a shirt on.

“We can both take the bed, it’s huge, I don’t know what you need a bed that big for. Do you roll around on it for fun or what?” he says and laughs. Changmin smirks a bit, easing off from the counter and putting his water glass in the sink.

“Sure, I’m losing precious hours of my beauty sleep because of you, so I’ll take you up on that offer.”

“My gracious offer to allow you to share _your_ bed with me?” Yunho asks, laughing some more.

“Whatever, hyung. I’m tired.”

~~~~~

Yunho falls asleep right after Changmin tosses him a blanket and wakes up confused and slightly uncomfortable with his right leg hanging off the bed. The room is still dark, but after he’s rubbed his eyes he can see slivers of light emerging from behind the blinds on the windows.

As he’s lying there and trying to wake up, the bed shifts and the sheets rustle. Yunho turns his head, and there’s Changmin’s face, just inches away. He’s sleeping on his side, the duvet is rumpled around his legs. It’s the cutest thing Yunho has seen all week, so he smiles and reaches out to sort out the mess that is Changmin’s hair.

“Hmph,” Changmin says as Yunho pushes his fingers through his bangs.

“Good morning,” Yunho replies and laughs. Changmin opens one eye, squints, and then closes it again.

“Is this a nightmare?” Changmin asks and that makes Yunho laugh even harder. Instead of answering the question he removes his hand from Changmin’s hair and reaches for his phone that he left somewhere on the floor. It’s a precarious mission, when his limbs are not yet awake, and his balance is honestly nonexistent, but he manages to find it eventually.

“It’s one in the afternoon,” he says to Changmin, who only mutters something in return, then sighs as his stomach rumbles loudly.

“Lunch” Changmin says, without a hint of it being a question. Yunho doesn’t know what to say except to just nod and stretch his long limbs, then sitting up on the side of the bed.

While Changmin leaves to wash his face, Yunho looks around. He looks at the big tv, the glass wall that divides the bedroom from the study, the tiny table by the window. The apartment is nice, it’s bright and airy, but the general impression he gets is _hotel_. Hotel as in this is a hotel room in a modern hotel. Where Changmin lives as a guest with a select few designer furniture, the walls without any art on them, the floors without any carpets.

Yunho finds that he doesn’t mind, because Changmin has the ability to feel at home in all sorts of places, and if Changmin is at home then Yunho is too.

When Yunho finally finds his way to the kitchen, Changmin is already cutting vegetables for a stew. Yunho stands and watches and leans his hip against a countertop.

“We could order something,” he says when Changmin stifles a big yawn, and earns one of the younger one’s looks in return. He falls silent again and decides to get a drink. Changmin’s fridges, because there are several, are in the kind of meticulous order he expects. He grabs a bottle of green tea and closes the fridge door, just about to ask where the glasses are, when he realizes that Changmin is holding a tall glass out to him.

“Thanks,” Yunho says and walks over to the breakfast bar with his bounty.

Changmin cooks, the rice cooker steams the rice, and Yunho drinks his tea. Slowly, sip by sip, as he keeps watching the scene playing out in front of him. He texts his manager to let him know that he’s alive, and that Changmin hasn’t kicked him out on the curb. He gets a long text back telling him in detail that he needs to be on his best behavior. It makes Yunho frown and wonder why he’s being treated like he’s a ticking bomb all of a sudden. He mostly lives with Changmin when they work in Japan, when they’re not in separate hotel rooms on tour. He knows how to placate his maknae, he knows how to smile in the right way, what beer to buy him as an apology, and how to place his shoes by the door to make him happy.

“Hey, Changmin-ah,” he says eventually after typing a response to his manager.

“Yeah, hyung,” Changmin says as he turns after turning the stove off. Yunho feels a pang of envy at how young and fresh he looks without any makeup on, even after a night of drinking and a day of sleeping in. Changmin walks over with the pot of stew.

“Are you sure that you’re okay with me staying here?” Yunho asks.

It’s Changmin’s turn to frown. He puts the pot down and places a hand on his hip, it’s his no-bullshit pose.

“I wouldn’t have said so if I didn't mean it. Of course you can stay here, Yunho.”

When he says Yunho’s name like that in private, without any formalities, it makes Yunho’s heart do a happy dance. Especially now, that Changmin is being so adamant on him staying with him - even though it had been Yunho’s idea to start with.

“Okay, I know you. I didn’t mean to imply something. Sorry,” Yunho says and grins. Changmin gives him a look of exasperation before going back to the kitchen counter to bring some side dishes over.

Later, when all the dishes are placed and they’re sitting side by side at the breakfast bar, Yunho asks if there isn’t any meat and Changmin huffs and points at the stew.

“Tofu,” he says, “you can eat meat tonight after you’ve woken up properly.”

“I stand corrected,” Yunho says and chuckles.

~~~~~

Changmin gives in to Yunho’s begging and orders fried chicken for dinner that evening. They drink imported beer and Yunho steals one of Changmin’s chicken pieces while Changmin is occupied with the sweet potato fries and the mayo dip sauce.

Later when it’s time to sleep, Yunho helps clearing away the empty bottles and beer cans. They take turns in the bathroom. Changmin throws him a fresh T-shirt to sleep in, but doesn’t give him a pillow or a blanket for the couch. So Yunho follows him to the bedroom, lies down on the other side of the bed and slowly falls asleep to the sound of Changmin now and then turning a page in the book he’s reading.

~~~~~

Work keeps them busy the entire next day. Their managers pick them up early in the morning, apparently just to be able to to turn back from their seats in the company van to tell them how much easier it is to do their job now that they’re both in the same spot. Changmin mutters a “it’s not like it’s forever anyway” and Yunho crosses his arms across his chest and narrows his eyes at them.

He’d forgotten about this part of living together with Changmin. He’d forgotten about the constant teasing and jibes from people surrounding them, and the “you’re just like a married couple” comments from others. Somewhere halfway through his military service it must’ve ended up far in the back of his memory, and it’s been years since they lived together in Seoul.

Their managers are nice people, their whole staff is, so Yunho isn’t too concerned. But Changmin doesn’t relax again until much later, and he keeps looking at Yunho from the corner of his eyes. Yunho can never catch him doing it, yet he feels Changmin’s eyes on him now and then. That’s how it always was, Yunho now remembers, they never talked about it.

The rest of the day goes smoothly after the initial bump in the road. They go to some meetings, do some initial planning for the Japanese tour they’re holding next year in the early summer. They eat lunch with some of the staff, Changmin pays their entire bill in secret when he excuses himself to go to the bathroom. Yunho argues with him about it.

In the afternoon they have an interview with a magazine that they did a photo shoot with a week ago. That too goes nicely. The interviewer is a pretty woman born in 1988 just like Changmin, and she is clearly a bit smitten with him. Yunho watches them both enjoy the slight flirtatious undertones and is surprised when Changmin does not ask her for her number as they’re finished and prepare to leave.

Changmin wears a look of concentration for the entire car ride back to his apartment. He has earphones in his ears and listens to something loud that Yunho can hear even over the sound of the car on the highway. That makes it the second car ride in a day where they don’t talk. He decides not to ask about it, and gives Changmin some space.

It’s starting to get darker outside, and they’ve been back in the apartment for almost an hour, when Yunho decides enough is enough and accepts an invitation in the chat room he shares with one of his groups of friends.

“I’m going out to dinner with Ho-jun and some others tonight,” Yunho tells Changmin as they’re sitting on the couch, Changmin nods and continues to channel surf.

“You can come too,” Yunho adds.

Changmin snorts and turns to face him, “no thank you, hyung,” he says. At least he’s looking at Yunho now.

“Why not?” Yunho asks and can’t really help but to feel a bit annoyed.

“They’re your friends, I’d only be in the way,” Changmin says and turns back to the TV, signalling that the subject is closed. Yunho knows that if he starts prodding at Changmin when he’s in this mood he might just as well pack his bag and book a room at a hotel immediately. So he changes his clothes and calls a cab.

It still doesn’t sit right with Yunho, even though he doesn’t know why it makes his brain itch. He even thinks about it throughout dinner, and when Ho-jun makes an incredulous face and laughs as he tells them about his current living situation it digs even deeper into Yunho’s brain.

Has Yunho not included Changmin in his social life? Has he shut him out and compartmentalized so completely? Changmin has his own friends, and the infamous Kyu-line meet regularly, even though it’s currently one member short with Kyuhyun in the military. But when the pretty interviewer had asked about their working relationship earlier he had said that Changmin is like family, that the fact that they’re co-workers comes second. He’d felt like that for sure when he was doing his military service, that if Changmin would join him again then everything else wouldn’t matter. Now he just wasn’t sure that he had ever actually shown Changmin that appreciation.

Yunho spends the taxi ride back thinking about Changmin up in the tall building, alone in a big apartment made out of glass and white, undecorated, walls. I’d be lonely, he tells himself.

By the time he’s standing in the elevator he’s sure that Changmin must be lonely.

When they go to sleep later that night, after taking turns in the bathroom, he’s absolutely convinced that loneliness is rolling off Changmin where he lies on the opposite side of the bed as steam rolls off hot water.

~~~~~

They spend a half day in a recording studio, then Changmin goes off on a separate schedule. Yunho goes to one of the smaller dance studios and runs into what seems like half of SM in the corridors. There’s a lot of bowing, and a lot of “Yunho-hyung, I heard about your apartment, that’s scary!”. Yunho knows that news spreads faster than light among all the people in the agency, but it surprises him still. To be quite honest he didn’t think people would care all that much.

His manager trails him, holding his bag, even though he preferred carrying it himself. It’s one of those things they can never agree on. Yunho thinks it makes him look as if he thinks he’s some sort of big shot, his manager thinks that Yunho has already lost his backpack five times since he came back from military service. Which means his manager has a point and Yunho surrenders.

“Eeey, Jung Yunho!” someone shouts as they’re getting off an elevator. Yunho turns, and it’s Heechul walking towards him with big strides.

“You burn down your apartment and you don’t call me?!” Heechul says in his usual ‘his bark is worse than his bite’ way. Yunho pulls him in by putting his arm around his friend’s neck and crushes him against his side.

“I didn’t burn anything down, it was the neighbors’ cat that burned _their_ apartment down,” he says and Heechul, uselessly struggling against him, huffs.

Yunho’s manager sighs and mimes drinking something, handing Yunho’s bag back to him, and walks off down the corridor in the opposite direction from the dance studio. Heechul keeps struggling, his sneakers making squeaky sounds against the highly polished floor.

“Then how come you’ve crawled back to your ex wife? Why are you not sleeping in your own apartment?” Heechul asks as he peers up at him through his bangs. Yunho releases him as if he’s been burned.

He’s not sure why, talk like that from the agency’s biggest gossip hasn’t really bothered him before.

Heechul sniggers and returns Yunho’s gesture, reaching up to put his arm around Yunho’s neck.

“Show hyung some respect, will ya?” Heechul says and Yunho shrugs his arm off, “wow you’re feisty.”

Yunho shakes his head and grins in what he hopes is a very shark-like way. It really helps that most people are shorter than him, it gives an extra sense of security when you can look down at the friends that are pestering you.

“I’m gonna go do some dance practice, hyung. You’re welcome to join me,” he says and sets off in the direction of the practice room again. Heechul follows him, and flops down on the floor when the door is closed behind them.

“So what’s the big deal? Tell me,” Heechul orders.

Yunho complies because he’s learnt the hard way that Heechul gets what he wants.

“My apartment didn’t burn, it got watered to death.”

Heechul nods, “fire hoses can do that. And firemen. Get things wet.”

Yunho rolls his eyes so far back it hurts.

The practice room is small with wooden floors, it has a mirror wall, and it has the worst lighting in the building. It’s stark white, slightly pulsating at the back of the room, and Yunho doesn’t like how it makes his face look in the mirrors. But it’s not like any of the bigger rooms were free. He’d seen a big portion of NCT crammed into one of the bigger ones, making the normally big expanse look cramped.

Heechul is wholly unbothered and presses on.

“So, Changmin,” he says and smirks.

“Changmin,” Yunho replies and demonstratively starts to stretch his quads.

“Oh stop it, I know you’re staying in his apartment,” Heechul says and presses further when Yunho raises an eyebrow at him. “Those are Changmin’s sweats, that’s his T-shirt and his shirt. Are those his underwear too?”

Yunho can’t stop the heat from rising to his cheeks. His friend’s brain was a dangerous and sharp tool, that was for sure.

“So what? I needed a place to stay and I can’t even imagine living in a hotel room for weeks and weeks. Besides, we almost always live together when we work in Japan and that doesn’t get this sort of reaction,” he says.

Heechul, smirks some more and pats the floor beside him.

“Come tell hyung all about it,” Heechul says, sugary sweet, and Yunho hangs his head and gives in yet again.

When he’s folded all of his long limbs to fit beside Heechul it’s even more obvious that the difference between them is not only one of length but one of mass.

“I don’t exactly know why I thought Changmin was the best choice to go to, but it makes sense since we work together either way,” Yunho says in an attempt to explain what he can’t even explain to himself.

“And how is that working out for you?” Heechul asks. His smirk is gone and now he is instead smiling the way he always does when they talk like this together, privately. This is why Yunho is still friends with him, because he always pulls and twists at Yunho’s arm until he spills his guts and makes it feel good and worth it after he’s done.

Yunho thinks about last night, and the revelation he’s had. About the fact that Changmin makes them both breakfast in the morning, that he’d woken up sprawled on Changmin’s ridiculously large bed this morning. A bed large enough for two, but usually occupied by one.

“I think he’s lonely,” Yunho finally says, and Heechul draws backwards in surprise.

“ _Changmin_ is lonely?!”

Yunho frowns and nods, “Yes.”

“But...” Heechul starts and then he seems to recuperate and the initial confusion leaves his face.

“Hah!” Heechul exclaims, “Shim Changmin is lonely at night. There’s a first for everything I guess.”

“Not like that, Heechul. I mean I don’t know if he gets laid or not, but I don’t mean like that. I mean like he needs a girlfriend before he buys ten cats and starts to collect traditional medicinal wine,” Yunho says.

“A girlfriend for Changmin?” Heechul asks and looks downright shocked, something that throws Yunho off his tracks for a moment.

Of course it’s a bit weird, that he’s talking about this, that he’s even thought about this. But after it’s gnawed on him since yesterday evening he’s kind of sure that he’s onto something. Yunho didn’t know that it was in this direction that all this pondering would take him, but now that he has arrived at this conclusion he feels quite confident in his reasoning.

“Yes, a good one, someone that sticks around and puts her toothbrush and creams in his bathroom cabinet, someone that leaves her sweaters and stuff lying around. You know, someone that brings some life into that sad apartment of a single man in his thirties.”

“Are you sure that you’re not just projecting?” Heechul asks with a very sceptical look on his face.

“I’m sure,” Yunho says and turns to Heechul, suddenly very serious, “and you’re gonna help me find a girl like that for him.”

~~~~~

And that’s how you end up living with your bandmate and former roommate, and somehow also ends up trying to get him a girlfriend.

~~~~~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So how did you guys like it? Are you craving another chapter? Please leave a comment and tell me all about it! 😊 💜 You can also find me drooling over things like Changmin's solo debut album "Chocolate" and his gorgeous live stage performances of said title song on my Twitter: @EmiLovesTaemin.


	2. Or; Arsonist Cats and the Search for a Date for Changmin

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _Who knew cats could be arsonists? Or that water pipes can actually disintegrate inside the walls? Or that floor heating can destroy wooden floors? Yunho’s apartment seemingly seeks revenge on him while he tries to solve yet another problem- the problem in question being the lonely life that his band mate Changmin is leading. Can Yunho fix his apartment, successfully survive living off of Changmin’s “couch”, AND find Changmin a date that sticks?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> DISCLAIMER: I do not claim that the events taking place in this story are real, nor do I own the characters, but the story is completely mine. This is not intended for commercial purposes. Please do not copy to another site without permission.
> 
> I was in bed most of the day while not feeling great, so I've had time to edit this much longer second chapter. I really hope there's something in here to entertain people 😊💜

~~~~~~

That morning had happened as follows. Yunho had woken up when Changmin kicked him on the leg because apparently no bed is ever big enough to save Yunho from early morning violence. After he’d rubbed at the sore spot a bit he’d opened his eyes to peer out across the room at the pile that was his band mate. Changmin had managed to kick Yunho and then immediately turn around, wrap himself up completely in the duvet, all while Yunho had woken up and cursed at the sudden pain.

Yunho had sighed and reached out for his phone that was lying on the chair that Changmin had graciously agreed to place by Yunho’s side of the bed. It had been twenty minutes left until his alarm would go off so he’d decided to get up. The sun was going to start to rise soon anyway.

After a shower, a shave and some serious moisturizing, he’d gone to the kitchen to see if he could possibly figure out Changmin’s frightening coffee machine. He hadn’t managed to, instead he’d settled for another bottle of green tea from the fridge, and gone back to check on Changmin.

Changmin was still asleep, a leg and an arm had escaped the confines of his duvet, his hair a mess against his pillow. Even with his 6 foot something height and legs that made even Yunho jealous, he looked tiny on the bed. Tiny and all alone. Lonely. Lonely and all alone. Yunho had felt that weird feeling of... something, something surging up from deep inside, and then he’d physically tried to shake it off. Maybe it was guilt.

When Changmin had been woken up by his own alarm a good twenty minutes later he’d found Yunho on the couch watching a shopping channel, completely unaware of the turmoil that had started to churn inside Yunho’s head.

A turmoil that suddenly evaporates the second Yunho, in the afternoon, in the dance practice room with Heechul at his side, puts his plan into words.

_You’re gonna help me find him a girlfriend._

Heechul looks shocked, the smirk wiped cleanly off his face.

“Ah... ah girlfriend, we, YOU?!” Heechul says with a stutter, then he manages to collect himself and clears his throat. “Yunho, Changmin does not need our help with his love life.”

“Of course he does! That’s what friends are for,” Yunho says, still very much determined to carry his plan out. Even if it’s not really a plan yet. He’s sort of counting on Heechul to help him with the details.

“You really think this is a good idea?” Heechul asks and Yunho nods, once, twice, with his most serious look on his face, “Okay, okay. I’ll help you with this weird project. Hey, who knows, this might even prove to be interesting,” Heechul continues. He’s now got that smirk on his face again, and a glint in his eyes that tells Yunho that basically nothing can stop the wheels in his head from turning.

“Very interesting,” Heechul repeats, still smirking at Yunho.

~~~~~

By some mercy of the gods they’re both done with their schedules before six pm. Yunho leaves his manager at the office as he goes with the driver to pick Changmin up. Changmin looks a bit surprised to find Yunho in the car, but still gives him the obligatory, “good job today, hyung,” greeting.

“I’ve mostly been dancing,” Yunho says and takes one of Changmin’s bags so that he can put on the seatbelt. Changmin nods.

“Good.”

The rest of the car ride passes in silence, as does the elevator ride and the walk down the hall to Changmin’s apartment. The silence is suddenly broken when Yunho, after taking his shoes off and arranging them nicely to the side in accordance to all of Changmin’s opinions about shoes, flops down on the couch and decides not to move again. It’s his phone.

“You should take a shower,” Changmin says as he walks up to Yunho, hands on his hips.

“Nu-uh, I’m too tired,” Yunho complains and checks the chat message he just got.

“Too tired to...” Changmin bends forward over the couch and squints at the phone screen, “go out and eat with the guys too?”

Yunho turns his head to the side so he can look up at Changmin, he looks a bit annoyed in this cold evening light.

“I’m not going, I’m staying here, with your couch,” Yunho announces and lets his head rest against the cool leather again. He wanted to hang out with Changmin anyway, and Ho-jun can wait a few days.

“Just shower first, okay hyung?”

Yunho, knowing that he will never hear the end of it, goes. When he’s back from the shower, his hair still wet and a towel slung over his shoulders, he finds Changmin in the kitchen making dinner. He wonders, as he stands and watches him stir fry meat, if this is the exact same thing he would be doing if Yunho was not here. 

I really, really, need to get him a girlfriend, he thinks and clears his throat.

“What?” Changmin asks softly without lifting his eyes from the pan.

“They’re delivering the first batch of my dry-cleaning tomorrow. So I won’t have to wear your clothes anymore.”

“Or my underwear,” Changmin says and laughs. Yunho can’t help but to laugh either. The fact that it’s not the first time they wear each other’s clothes and underwear is an elephant in the room that they thought they would never have to address again.

“You’re gonna have to throw these out, I’ve compromised them with my very being,” Yunho says and they laugh together for a bit. Until it gets quiet again. It’s not a pressing silence, it’s a good silence. A comfortable silence.

They eat mostly in silence too, with the TV turned on behind their backs. It’s the news, since Changmin got to pick the channel, “because I actually live here”.

Yunho tries to remember the moment they became so comfortable around each other, did it happen right away? Did it grow slowly? There’s a benefit from, as Changmin has put it, spending half your lives together, but also there’s the downside of memories blurring and transforming into entirely new memories. He can’t remember the first time he met Changmin, he remembers him from later. Changmin remembers most things quite differently. Yunho does however remember when Changmin first became a real adult in his eyes, even if it was too soon and under circumstances he’d rather not they had been under. He also remembers the first time Changmin came back to the dorms drunk with a giggling Kyuhyun barely holding him up.

“What are you thinking about?” Changmin asks and the memories of a younger and more carefree Changmin are replaced with the vision of the older one, slowly nursing a glass of red wine.

“You,” Yunho says and takes a drink from Changmin’s glass of water.

“Me? I’m right here, why are you thinking about me? Talk to me,” Changmin says and frowns, “you’re not going sentimental on me now are you old man?”

His hair is messy, there’s shadows of stubble showing on his upper lip and chin, and he’s wearing a T-shirt that Yunho guesses is ten years old - but he still looks like the perfect idol in Yunho’s eyes. He has to admit that he’s always been a bit jealous of Changmin’s looks - he’s just... the right kind of delicate city boy-princeling compared to Yunho’s Gwangju charms.

“It’s nothing important, just... thinking,” Yunho says and smiles widely.

Changmin shrugs, and signals that he won’t pry further if Yunho is gonna be like _that_. Yunho decides that he’s gonna wait to tell Changmin about the blind date that Heechul is helping him set up for him. Tonight he just wants to hang out with him as his friend.

~~~~~

Heechul comes through and sets up a date with a girl he knows on the coming Wednesday. He has attached links to her instagram in their chat and Yunho looks it through during a bathroom break during a planning meeting the following day. She’s got that innocent beauty that he knows Changmin will like, small face, perfect eyes, delicate features and brown hair cut stylishly at her shoulders. She poses with glasses of wines and small and luxurious dishes on big white plates in restaurants Yunho has never been in.

It’s like she’s the female version of Changmin, he says to himself as he sits in there in the toilet stall. Would Changmin really like that? Being in a relationship with someone that is too similar to himself, wouldn’t some differences be more refreshing in the long run? What is the thinking, in the long run? He’s only trying to find Changmin a girlfriend, not a wife.

Yunho shakes himself to get rid of the weird feeling pooling in his chest and nods at a selca the girl has taken. She’s perfect, she will do just fine.

He sends thumbs up to Heechul. Now he just has to find a way to tell Changmin about this, without it seeming... weird.

The opportunity arises later, during lunch in a private room on the second floor of a Chinese restaurant. Changmin’s manager is off doing some errands and Yunho’s is having his lunch at the office on the account of some staff meeting, so they’re alone for the first time since early morning.

Changmin is telling him a story about that time when he and a previous girlfriend had gotten all the wrong dishes after ordering delivery takeout, prompted by Yunho’s confusion when their food had arrived. He had had no memory of ordering the fried noodles dish, but Changmin had told him that he definitely had.

When the story ends, and Changmin resumes eating his grilled fish, Yunho clears his throat.

“So, you’ve been single for... how long now?” Yunho asks.

It seems to startle Changmin because he drops the piece of fish he was about to eat, and his eyes go big and round. Of course, this is the kind of thing they usually don’t ever talk about. Not that Yunho doesn’t care, or that he thinks that Changmin wouldn’t care. It’s always just felt a bit awkward, and even more so when they have to talk about it on the radio or in an interview, or on national television.

“I-” Changmin starts, and then he pauses to set down his chopsticks, “I have stopped keeping count.”

“But you want to date, right?” Yunho continues, thinking to hell with it, damned be awkwardness. They’re friends, they should be able to talk about girlfriends.

Changmin shrugs, Yunho frowns. Does that mean that he doesn’t care or that he doesn’t know? They look at each other in silence for a while, before Yunho has gathered enough determination to say what it is he wants to say.

“Heechul hyung was talking yesterday, about a girl he knows, and I don’t know, she sounded like a perfect fit for you. So I told him to set up a date-”

“You did what?” Changmin hisses loudly while surging as far towards Yunho as the round table allows.

“It’s just a date, Changdola. I thought you’d like to date someone again,” Yunho hurries to say, he’s got his hands out towards Changmin in a calming gesture. It’s been years since they caused a scene at work and even longer since they caused one in public, and he’s not about to break that streak today. The fact that they’re in public seems to placate Changmin some, because he doesn’t exactly seem angry.

Sure, Yunho had figured that Changmin might be a bit annoyed that Yunho would meddle, he always seemed to be a bit uncomfortable telling Yunho about his love life. Even after all these years. Maybe it’s my fault, Yunho thought, since I don’t share much about mine either.

Changmin’s face is completely unreadable, no matter how hard Yunho tries to grasp the feelings showing in his eyes. He seems to have hit a very sore nerve, by mistake. Changmin stares at him while opening his mouth to speak over and over again without actually shaping any words.Yunho thinks he might’ve accidentally broken him - which is a first as far as he knows. At least he sits back down into his chair while gaping at Yunho.

The moment passes after a few seconds, and the feeling left showing on Changmin’s face, after all other expressions have faded away, is confusion.

“I should’ve known you’d be up to something stupid. Hyung, you really give me a headache, you know that? I just want to know why you think setting up a date for me was a good idea,” he says. Yunho thinks about what to reply. Suddenly unsure himself.

“Heechul hyung talked about her, and she sounded... perfect for you,” he repeats and sits back. Changmin has slowly slumped forwards again, looking like he’s lost at least a couple of inches.

Changmin is not looking convinced.

“Hey, I just don’t want you to miss out on stuff because of me, okay? And you’ve been single for a while now so that just means you gotta get up on that horse again. You like going on dates right? She’s a great girl, I thought it was easy maths,” Yunho says. He can’t stop himself from going on about it, it’s like once he’s opened the floodgates there’s no stopping it.

“It’s just a date,” he adds. For good measure.

“I got it,” Changmin mumbles. Yunho waits patiently for the reply that will either ruin his great plan or be a step on the journey towards its success.

They sit in silence for a while while Changmin is deep in thought and rubs at his jaw where there’s faint traces of stubble again. It seems that no matter how often he shaves there’s always a grey shadow on his jawline. Usually it just adds to his overall charm, Yunho guesses. But right now it’s making him look very tired indeed. Eventually the look on Changmin’s face shifts into determination and he straightens his back. The room is almost electric with how tense the atmosphere is. Changmin’s eyes seem to be on fire when Yunho meets his gaze.

“Okay, I’ll do it. When’s the date?”

~~~~~

The thing about Changmin, Yunho thinks as he sits and drinks a cup of expertly made coffee (made by Changmin) on the couch - is that he loves beautiful women. He can’t get enough of them. He dates and woes them, plans romantic dates for them. He buys extravagant gifts, brings them cute stuffed animals, flowers, cooks for them and books tables at exclusive French restaurants for them.

This romantist behavior had culminated some time before their enlistments and their respective military services, but now it seemed that it had died out completely. Or maybe he had just grown even more discreet.

Yunho has, for the purpose of his new project of course, been sneaking peeks at Changmin’s phone whenever he replies to a message or gets a call. But there has been no signs of flirting, well more than the sickly sweet messages he sends the Super Junior hyungs and SHINee’s Minho in Kakao chats. 

Lately, before the fire, Changmin had even called Yunho late at night more often. He’d talk about absolutely nothing for a while, whine a bit about something until Yunho would laugh, and then he’d say it was time to go to bed. Yunho couldn’t really believe that he had missed these very clear signs - the fact that Changmin, somehow, had become so lonely.

His phone beeps from his pocket. It’s Heechul, sending another one of the winking stickers in the chat. So far he’s gotten a penguin, Brown the bear, the butt, and a rudolf one that he guesses is supposed to look like Changmin. Just as he’s about to reply he hears Changmin’s footsteps coming from the closet.

“What do you think, this jacket-” Changmin says as Yunho looks over his shoulder, “or this dark grey cardigan thing?” He’s wearing the cardigan and holding the jacket on its hanger in one hand at the same height as his torso. His hair is neatly styled, but not overly so, and he’s frowning down at himself as if the cardigan has called him short.

Yunho smiles widely and points at the jacket.

“Try it on for me, so I can visualize it.”

Changmin looks up and rolls his eyes, but complies and squirms out of the knitted cardigan and throws it to Yunho. Yunho holds a hand up to his chin to think, and looks at Changmin wearing the black jean jacket with wool lining for a while before nodding. He could ask Changmin to turn around and walk for him but he decides to not tempt fate.

“This one, this is better. Compared to the jacket you looked like a grandpa in the cardigan.”

“Hey, thanks alot,” Changmin says, fakes annoyance, and grabs the offending piece of clothing back from Yunho.

“You wanted my opinion, and I gave it to you. Show some respect for your elders,” Yunho says as an attempt to appease him, which finally makes Changmin crack a smile.

“ _You_ called yourself an elder, not me.”

Yunho swipes at him with his hand but Changmin laughs and steps out of his reach. He could get up and follow Changmin and take revenge. If it wasn’t for that simple fact that he’s got a plan to set into motion and he can’t have Changmin showing up to a date looking all rumpled.

“So, all ready to go? You’ve got your wallet and your keys?” he asks instead.

Changmin just nods and his ears are turning a familiar shade of red.

Yunho wonders why Changmin is this nervous, he’s been on plenty of dates before.

“Hey, you don’t have to go if you don’t want to,” Yunho says.

“No, no. I’m fine.”

He doesn’t look all that fine, he looks just about as nervous as Changmin can get. It’s odd and out of character, and Yunho can’t help but to react. He starts to get up.

“I can go with you and wait in a closeby café, so if it’s a catastrophe you can escape there.”

This offer finally seems to loosen Changmin up, he laughs and pushes Yunho back into his seat.

“Definitely not, people are gonna start talking if they find out you come with me on my dates. I don’t wanna have to live with the threat of that anecdote surfacing during a variety show.”

He leaves a few minutes later, wearing the shiny shoes Yunho picks out for him. Yunho settles back on the couch with the TV for some evening TV shop viewing, but his coffee stands forgotten on the small table at his side.

Yunho is not entirely sure he meant the offer to come with Changmin as a joke.

When Changmin returns home, about three hours later, it’s to a completely besieged living room.

“Yunho hyung?”

“Here,” Yunho replies from behind a tower of boxes.

“What is all this?” Changmin asks as he weaves his way between boxes and racks of clothes on hangers in clear garment bags.

“Ehm,” Yunho starts and automatically reaches out to steady Changmin as he takes a big step over a crate to get to where he is, “it’s my dry-cleaning apparently. They just finished getting it up here.”

“But you already got your dry-cleaning,” Changmin says and waves to the corner where they’ve temporarily stacked those boxes.

“Yes, well, it was only a part of it. And this is the other ninety percent,” Yunho says with a sheepish look on his face. To be honest he feels just as tricked as Changmin must feel.

The two of them stand quietly, looking out at the mess. Yunho doesn’t know what to do with all of it. He’s been circling the room for the full half an hour or so since the delivery men had left, very much unsure of how to deal with it. Sure, he’s been moving boxes and plastic crates and reorganized some piles of sweaters on the couch, but it still looks like chaos.

His only sinking hope is that Changmin will deal with it instead.

“Why didn’t you call your manager? He organized this whole thing, didn’t he? You should’ve let your stylist go through it so you’d know what you could put in storage for now,” Changmin says with a sigh.

“Ah! Storage! You’re a genius,” Yunho says and happily pats Changin on his shoulders, “I’ll call manager hyung and ask him to take care of it tomorrow.”

Just like he had hoped, Changmin solved the problem.

“Until then... we’ll have to clear a path.”

Changmin has his hands on his hips as he says it. He’s taken the jacket off, he must’ve left it in the hallway. Yunho finally looks at him closely and tries to figure out how the date went, but there are no clues in his facial expressions. Now that there’s a cleaning project at hand there’s most likely nothing else on Changmin’s mind.

They move boxes, and some more boxes, and rolls some racks out of the way. It makes it possible to move around and to the kitchen area, which is apparently _top priority_. Yunho excuses himself as Changmin is massaging the back of his own neck, looking at the remainder of the clutter.

His manager actually laughs when he calls him from the bedroom to tell him about the situation, tells him that it’s going to be taken care of. Yunho can’t help but to pout and complain a little extra since the damaged party is mainly Changmin and he’s nice enough to let Yunho stay there in the first place.

When the call ends he can hear the water running in the bathroom.

While Changmin washes his face and hands Yunho goes to the kitchen, and rummages around in the cupboards to find some snacks. He finds chocolate covered sunflower seeds and a bag of japanese senbei that he appropriates and brings back to the bedroom. He’s haphazardly switching channels on the, also ridiculously large, TV in the bedroom when Changmin returns from the bathroom. His face looks fresh and changed into pajama pants and a T-shirt.

“How did it go?” Yunho asks Changmin as he sits down next to Yunho on the bed with a thud.

Changin gives him a weird look and reaches for the senbei. They’re his favorite with nori wrapped around the small round disks of rice cracker. Yunho thinks he even knows where the store in Tokyo is where he buys them since he’s been dragged there more than once. He also realizes that Changmin is avoiding the question.

That’s... odd.

And kind of annoying.

“Tell me all about it,” he coaxes, putting on a cute face and leaning closer to Changmin.

“Forget it hyung, not while you’re looking at me like that. I get the feeling you’re just trying to live life vicariously through me and that’s weird,” Changmin says and continues eating the snacks.

“We need beer for this, by the way,” he adds as he suddenly gets up and leaves. Yunho stays on the bed feeling a bit gobsmacked. Not that their relationship can ever be all about who’s the oldest, they’re only two and they need to be able to take part in their work in equal parts, but Changmin is usually a bit more tactful when ignoring him. This time he just upped and left. When he returns he’s carrying two bottles of chilled beer, offering one to Yunho. Yunho accepts, partially unwilling, but this situation that they’re in has him confused. It’s like he’s out of beat with the music and he can’t bring himself to correct his tempo. Changmin mostly looks concentrated on his beer and the snacks. 

“Can I change channels?” he asks and Yunho says yes mostly out of reflex. He’s not even sure what’s on the TV, his whole mind focused on the sidestepping that Changmin is doing.

Changmin ends up picking a news broadcast and they sit quietly for a while like that, eating the snacks, drinking their beers. Yunho’s confusion is evolving into irritation. There’s no reason for Changmin to refuse to answer a harmless question like that, it was just curiosity. He meant no harm by asking it and no harm could ever be meant by him asking. Changmin must know that. So why is he doing everything in his power not to reply?

By the end of the news broadcast, and when their beer bottles are empty, he still has no idea why.

“Changminah, would you please just say if it went well or not?” Yunho asks softly as Changmin takes his empty bottle and is about to get up to no doubt rinse it out and put it in the recycling.

It stops him, makes him sit back down on the bed and actually look back at Yunho. Yunho smiles reassuringly.

“It was... okay I guess. But I don’t think we clicked at all,” Changmin says and looks just as self conscious he had done when he was standing there with red ears as Yunho had helped him pick the outfit.

“That’s okay, I think there’s a 85 percent chance of that happening on a blind date,” Yunho says.

“There you go again with the percentage,” Changmin says. His face lit up by one of those smiles that would make Kyuhyun coo and pinch him in the cheek. Yunho feels relieved, that it wasn’t anything serious, that Changmin isn’t for some unknown reason angry with him and is back at making fun out of his habits.

“Now you’re gonna have to tell Heechul hyung that I rejected one of his prized beauties, because _I’m_ definitely not gonna do it,” Changin happily declares and grabs the snack bags and leaves.

“Nuh-uh! You tell him!” Yunho shouts at his back, completely embracing the carefree atmosphere.

He hasn’t smiled this widely all day, and he realizes he’s still smiling when he goes to the bathroom to brush his teeth. Yunho is not entirely sure why he’s smiling.

~~~~~

It’s been a week already, and Changmin has not gone out with his friends even once. The infamous _Kyu-line_ has been notably absent from the apartment too. He has gone out on one date, even if it didn’t end lead to a second date, but Yunho had put him up to that. It’s not like they’ve spent twenty-four hours together. Far from it. There’s separate meetings, there’s workouts and transport between activities. There’s Changmin’s slightly more extensive beauty regime even though Yunho has to admit that his appointments at the dermatologist he uses have been getting more frequent.

The fact of it is that Yunho doesn’t follow Changmin around like an oversized puppy, nor does Changmin follow him around like a deer on a leash. But Yunho knows that Changmin would normally have emptied a bottle or ten between him and Minho by now. Maybe it’s weird now that Yunho shares the same bathroom sink, has his toothbrush in a glass of his own next to Changmin’s, when there’s two towels drying on the towel rack.

Yunho can’t help but to wonder what kind of disturbance he really is.

The easy solution is of course to remind Changmin that he should invite some of the boys over, and to offer to make himself scarce. He can go out with some of his friends to a bowling alley or just out to eat. Yunho doesn’t have to be in the apartment every evening, waiting patiently by the dining table as Changmin finishes dinner.

He definitely doesn’t have to do that.

He thinks about all this as he finishes washing his face after shaving. There’s a lot to consider while living with another person, things that he’s been taught by the years with Changmin.

When he exits the bathroom he can hear voices and he moves towards them. Turns out his manager, his stylist, and Changmin are moving stuff around in the living room, trying to make a sense out of the boxes.

“Hyung,” Changmin says in an accusatory way, when he joins them. He looks good in that way that only Changmin can at eight am and completely free of base makeup.

“What?” Yunho asks and looks at the garment bag with a hanger that Changmin is holding out towards him.

“There was a fire and this didn’t burn. There is no God,” Changmin exclaims and waves the bag a bit in frustration. It’s a jeans shirt with flower applications in bright colors. It must’ve been hiding somewhere deep inside Yunho’s closet because he can’t even remember when he last saw it. Or if it’s his or something from a photo shoot.

Yunho’s stylist makes a face behind her big black-rimmed glasses but doesn’t interfere even when Yunho gives her a pleading look.

“They’ll take that one with them,” Yunho says in an attempt to get Changmin off his back and takes the hanger to hand to his stylist.

Somewhat appeased, Changmin nods and walks over to the kitchen. This will be a long day.

It’s not until they’re in the company car, taking them to all sorts of meetings and later a radio show appearance, that Yunho asks the obvious question.

“You really don’t like my clothes?”

Changmin sits in the seat in front of him, and has to lean back awkwardly to look at him. He looks annoyed.

“When have I ever told you that you look bad? Don’t be ridiculous, you’re U-Know Yunho. You’re my amazing hyung,” Changmin says in a matter-of-fact way that makes Yunho blush and cringe. He’s never been good at taking compliments from Changmin.

To divert the attention he gets back on track with his project, the project he really needs to see to its completion. Jung Yunho never gives up, even if the result is a failure - it’s a success because he’s tried.

“You should invite the boys over for drinks this week, you know. I’ve got stuff to do, and I’ve been in the way so-”

“I can drink with you,” Changmin interrupts. He’s facing forward so Yunho can’t see his face.

“With me? But I don’t drink.”

“Yes, well, I don’t mind. You don’t mind, so I wont mind,” Changmin says.

This is odd, Yunho can’t figure out where he’s got his maknae these days, it’s a constant push and pull situation. It almost feels like all the progress they’d made after finishing their military service went out the window the second Yunho stepped inside Changmin’s apartment.

~~~~~

After a game of rock, paper, scissors it stands clear that Yunho is the one to relay the message of the not so successful date to Heechul. A Heechul who laughs as he video calls Yunho to reply to the text message he was sent.

“I can’t believe he didn’t feel any connection with her, she was my A-game,” he complains but with his usual big grin.

Yunho is hiding in an empty office, dearly hoping no one walks in on him during this call. Mostly because he thinks that Changmin actually would kill him if it got out that Yunho sets him up on dates. And it’d be a painful death, considering all the workouts he’s been doing even after their tour has ended.

“Well it’s not like I can demand that he likes her just because she was your _A-game_. I need you to come up with a new blind date for him,” Yunho says and Heechul grins impossibly even wider.

“Don’t worry, my sweet dongsaeng. I have the perfect girl in mind already.”

~~~~~

Changmin goes on a date with the second candidate the following week. He’s wearing a button down shirt made out of a silk blend that is cold and smooth under Yunho’s fingers as he helps Changmin fix the collar. He stands very close to Changmin with his head tilted down, concentrating on the task. Changmin has his head turned to the side, but when he moves to speak his breath ruffles Yunho’s bangs.

“Huh?” Yunho asks, he wasn’t listening, his mind occupied with fuzzy things and lots of white noise that he can’t identify.

“I said that I can do it myself,” Changmin repeats softly.

“You wont even let me do this?” Yunho asks and looks up at Changmin with his best imitation of puppy eyes, mouth pursed into a pout. He likes these moments, when it’s just them, and when there’s nothing distracting them. He’s not sure since when but he really does like moments like these. 

Yunho let’s his fingers slip from the fabric of Changmin’s shirt, and his arms drop to his sides. They both take a tentative step back.

“I should get going,” Changmin says, his hands seemingly automatically going for his own collar as if he can’t trust Yunho to have fixed it properly. It makes Yunho drop his eyes yet again and he turns away to leave the hallway.

“Have fun,” he says while walking to the living room, not sure why he’s suddenly reluctant to be there when Changmin leaves.

He’s got his head stuck deep inside Changmin’s fridge looking for his dinner when he hears the door open and close, the locks activating with the familiar tune.

Dinner is an assortment of things he picked up in the deli section of a department store. It keeps him occupied to set the dishes out on the table, to unwrap and get rid of the trash in the recycling bins beyond the kitchen. He takes out the bottle of strawberry juice that he placed in Changmin’s drink fridge and picks out a tall glass from the cupboard. Menial tasks like that to occupy his thoughts. Stop them from going all over the place.

There must be something a bit off with him this autumn. He’s set his heart on finding Changmin a girlfriend, yet he acts this weirdly before the date. Yunho can’t figure out what’s going on, maybe it’s some misguided parental sense of responsibility. Maybe that’s what Heechul had meant when he said that it was misguided.

He can’t stop thinking about it once he sits down to eat, looking out at the living room beyond the glass wall. The Seoul night outside the windows is almost invisible since he can mostly only see his own reflection. He thinks he looks a bit haggard, but that might just be the effect of the way his reflection is doubled against the glass.

After dinner he clears the table, washes the containers, chopsticks and the glass, returns leftovers to the fridge. He gets rid of more recycling. Throws things in the trash. He turns the lights off and sits in front of the TV for so long that he almost falls asleep. The sound of the apartment door unlocking and opening jolts him back to reality.

Unable to control himself he stands, sits down, and then he stands back up again. It makes him annoyed, that he was so calm just seconds ago, and now he can’t even stop his body from moving nervously. It’s just Changmin, he just came back from a blind date with a hairdresser that Heechul has set him up with and there has been no major event. There’s nothing at all to feel this anxious about.

Yunho pulls at the bottom of his worn out T-shirt, straightens his sweats and runs his fingers through his hair in case it’s started to stick up weirdly in the back. He has just enough time to turn the TV off before Changmin turns on the lights and comes walking down the hallway.

“You’re still up,” Changmin says with a big goofy grin on his face.

“You’re drunk,” Yunho says and folds his arms across his chest. A habit he doesn’t really know where it has come from. ‘Misguided parental sense of responsibility’ it is.

Changmin has the good sense to walk away and towards the bathroom, Yunho has the bad sense of following. He has to increase the length and speed of his steps to catch up, he does not run.

“What?” Changmin asks as Yunho catches him by the wrist, making him stop and turn. They’re so close that Yunho can smell wine on Changmin’s breath.

The tone in Changmin’s voice makes him lose the momentum of his actions. What was he even about to say or do? He doesn’t know, his body had just moved by itself again. He doesn’t let go of the wrist that is warm in his firm grip.

“How did it go?” Yunho asks, unable to think of anything else as his mind reels, his thoughts going wild. He doesn’t know why, yet he still feels his annoyance growing into something a bit more like anger.

Changmin tries to pull his arm loose, and when it doesn’t work he puts his free hand against Yunho’s chest and pushes _hard_. Yunho is no match for his strength when his mind is such a mess and has to take a step back in order to keep his balance. Changmin is pulled forwards with him since he doesn’t let go of his wrist. This miscalculation seems to be what pushes Changmin over the edge.

“Let go of me,” he says with a low voice, teeth white and bared in anything but a smile.  
Yunho complies, letting go of Changmin as if his skin suddenly burns him.

“I’m-” he starts to say but is cut off as Changmin closes the bathroom door, keeping Yunho on the outside.

Confused, and still annoyed, Yunho stands there staring at the door until he hears the shower start. It pushes him into action and he leaves. He goes to the kitchen to drink water and to calm the fuck down.

Maybe it’s something else entirely, because this does not feel like a misguided parental sense of responsibility at all. It’s a green and icky feeling that makes his insides churn and his throat close. There’s nothing honorable in it.

Not even stalking the apartment, walking back and forth while waiting for Changmin to come out from the bathroom, helps him clear his head enough to identify on what whim he has acted like this. When Changmin finally does exit the bathroom, wearing only a towel around his waist as he goes to the closet, Yunho catches up to him.

“I’m sorry, I’m really sorry,” Yunho says.

Changmin shakes his head and pulls on a sweatshirt, covering his toned muscles.

“You’ve always acted weird when it comes to me and dating, you know that?” Changmin says instead of accepting the apology. He gestures for Yunho to turn around, so he does, and Changmin drops the towel and puts on a pair of shorts while Yunho stands with his back facing him. He follows him when Changmin returns to the bathroom with the towel.

“I don’t think I have, I don’t care about who you date,” Yunho says, and Changmin laughs a harsh laugh and shakes his head again.

“Okay, hyung, you can have it your way. We can ignore it and it’ll go away. I don’t even care, just... I’m really tired.”

“Me too,” Yunho agrees mostly because his head hurts from all these tosses and turns it’s put him through tonight.

“So let’s call it a night,” Changmin says and walks out past Yunho.

Yunho follows him again, which is becoming somewhat of a habit. This time he follows Changmin to the bedroom. He puts his phone on the chair by the bed just as Changmin puts his own on the bedside table. They lift opposite ends of the duvet, climb into bed, and settle against their individual pillows. Every task performed in tense silence.

Yunho stares up at the ceiling for several minutes before he manages to speak.

“It really is none of my business, I have no idea... I think I’ve gotten a bit too passionate about this.”

“About sending me on blind dates?” Changmin asks incredulously in the dark.

“Yes,” Yunho admits. He has to swallow hard against something in his throat but he manages to get it under control.

“You’re hopeless, Jung Yunho. You really can get passionate about anything.” Changmin says and laughs that laughter that is a bit weird but so typically him. It makes the bed shake a bit, and Yunho reaches out with his leg to jokingly kick him. He has to reach tho, so he shifts closer.

“Don’t forget who’s oldest and who’s the leader,” Yunho says and he’s sure Changmin can hear him sulk.

“You’re an old man, and I’m the real leader,” Changmin replies and this time Yunho kicks him for real, “Hey!”

This feels nostalgic for some reason, maybe because Yunho is ignoring the fact that even when they shared a dorm they didn’t use to sleep in the same bed together. This is a new development that can’t possibly have any nostalgia attached to it.

~~~~~

It’s already mid morning when Yunho wakes up the following day, and he finally feels more like himself than he has in weeks. When he stretches his arms and legs to get rid of the heavy sleep lingering in his body his hand touches something solid. It’s Changmin’s cheekbone, just at an arm’s length away. Yunho can’t help but to smile and stroke the soft skin gently, just enough for Changmin to stir a little in his sleep. He’s so cute when he sleeps with a tiny frown, as if the world’s weight is on his pretty shoulders.

Instead of taking the usual route to the bathroom, he goes to the living room and casts his ‘Drop’ music video from his phone to the TV, and starts the day with a dance. Somewhere in the middle of ’Keep Your Head Down’ he can hear Changmin closing one of the fridge doors. When he looks over it seems that the frown Changmin had while sleeping has deepend. The sound of Changmin running the smoothie mixer almost drowns out Yunho’s singing.

“Is that really necessary? My neighbors are going to complain,” Changmin says when Yunho joins him by the breakfast bar.

Yunho is warm and sweaty, and he drinks half of the fruit smoothie that Changmin has poured for him in one go. He feels the look his friend is giving him burn the side of his head.

“This is great!” Yunho says as he puts down the glass and sits on the chair.

“Compliments will get you nowhere,” Changmin mutters into his own glass, but Yunho can see the smile he’s trying to hide.

They don’t have time to eat breakfast because Changmin’s friendly but scary personal trainer shows up fifteen minutes later, carrying a bag of gear that Yunho can’t help but give a few suspicious looks. His hand is almost crushed as they shake hands, and Changmin openly laughs his staccato laughter as he goes to change. Yunho follows him and has to stand with his back turned in the bedroom this time.

“Can I borrow your car later?” he asks

“Sure,” Changmin replies automatically, “but what are you using it for?”

“Hmmm, well I’m going bowling with the kids. They’ve been complaining constantly on Kakao for two weeks now, so I gotta go play.”

Changmin taps him on the shoulder, signalling that he can turn around again. When he does he realizes they’re standing close, eye to eye.

“Make sure you beat them, hyung,” Changmin says with one of his sly smiles before pushing a bunch of clothes into his hands,“ as payment you can join me. I want you to look as cool as possible for our comeback.”

There’s not really anything Yunho can do to get out of one of the most intense workout sessions of his life. He knows that Changmin can go a bit crazy when he exercises, and his trainer is one of the biggest sadists that Yunho has ever met. It does however feel a bit excessive when he’s held to the ground by the trainer while being almost shouted at by Changmin to keep doing sit-ups. He’s so sweaty that the workout bench in the living room is disgustingly slippery once they’re finished with him.

He’s left in a puddle on the floor to stretch while Changmin happily chats and makes weird green shakes with protein powder in the kitchen.

Yunho finally manages to get his legs to cooperate and take him to the bathroom for a slumped shower, and afterwards he lies on the bed on his back, checking messages that have come in during the morning. He sends a status report to his manager, informing him about his outing later that day, and then he opens Kakao. There’s twelve unread chat messages from Heechul.

They start with the usual “whatt’ya doin’” and end with “if you don’t reply soon I’ll tell Changmin that we’ve decided he can join Super Junior instead of Kyuhyun!”

Yunho dials Heechul’s number with a sigh.

“Took you long enough,” Heechul says, “you’re no fun anymore. Not since you got married and moved in with your wife.”

“Hyung, we’ve got a busy schedule, we’re gonna be even busier closer to the award season. You know this.”

Heechul snorts and Yunho has to sigh again, the husband and wife joke got old about nine years ago. His hamstrings are giving him hell and he tries to stretch them as he flops around on the bed.

“You’ve got enough time to be disgustingly domestic with Changmin tho, he just posted a vid of your workout on instagram,” Heechul complains.

Yunho tenses and checks the phone quickly while Heechul drones on. Sure enough, there’s a notification about Changmin’s instagram update among the others from Heechul’s spam.

“I’m sorry Heechul hyung, I gotta go,” Yunho says and hangs up.

The video is only ten seconds long, and it only shows about two of Yunho’s sit-ups, but there’s already thousands of comments saying things like “wow I didn’t know they worked out together” and “Yunho seems a bit out of his depth, will it be okay?”. You can clearly hear Changmin’s staccato laughter in the background, so of course there’s also a lot of comments from fangirls drooling about them being in the same room with each other.

Yunho is just about to get up from the bed to find Changmin when he hears the front door close, and soon enough the light footsteps of his friend get closer.

“My trainer left, he said you should join us more,” Changmin informs him from somewhere close to the glass wall dividing the bedroom from his workspace.

Yunho hums against the duvet and motions for Changmin to come closer. He gets a bit surprised when Changmin suddenly straddles the back of his thighs and starts massaging the muscles in his back and shoulders through his tank top. But then again there was probably a sense of guilt involved since it was Changmin’s fault that he was even lying like this on his stomach, unable to move.

“Will you be able to go bowling like this?” Changmin asks him several minutes later, when Yunho is well on the way of falling asleep under his talented hands.

“Mhm no problem,” he manages to say before he really does fall asleep.

~~~~~

Yunho throws a strike and is met by high fives, hugs, and cheers from his team. They take the lead and the other team doesn’t manage to catch up. By the end of this their third game Yunho has to buy the losing team drinks. He’s not exactly sure how that happened but he thinks he might not have paid attention while the bet was being outlined. Ho-jun comes with him to help him carry the heavy drink trays back to their table.

“So what are you up to lately?” Yunho asks as they stand a little to the side of the cash register, waiting. Ho-jun looks up from his phone.

“I should be the one asking you that,” Ho-jun says with an artfully raised brow.

“Come on, don’t be like that.”

“Like what?”

Yunho hangs his head and shakes it a bit, this was what he had hoped to avoid.

“Isn’t your apartment finished yet? Why are you still-”

Ho-jun falls quiet as some people move close by. He might be very outspoken about his thoughts on Yunho’s life, he’s always been, but he knows to be discreet. Yunho sometimes finds that to be a bit of an issue with other friends that aren’t in the business. Ho-jun being an actor and far removed from the idol world has always provided him with a good outlet. But there’s things he doesn’t even want to discuss with him, private things, like Changmin and the frail new friendship they’ve been nurturing since their return from the military.

“It’s not done yet, the contractor had some issues with deliveries. At least that’s what my landlord told me,” Yunho explains.

Ho-jun’s attention isn’t that easily diverted.

“Why can’t you just rent a place?” he asks.

Yunho can feel a headache coming, and no matter how much he rubs his fingers against his temples it won’t go away.

“It was more convenient this way, we have most of our schedules together from now on anyway,” he explains for what feels like the tenth time even though it’s the first time.

“Sure, but doesn’t it feel... like taking a step backwards. You two moved away from each other because of, well you know,” Ho-jun says even quieter than before. He’s got a look on his face that is actually somewhat frightening. Yunho _doesn’t_ know what he means, and it must show on his face because his friend continues.

“I just thought you both agreed that the whole husband and wife spiel was a bit too much for a couple of grown men,” Ho-jun says.

Ah, so it was just that, Yunho thinks with relief and lets out the nervous laughter that bubbles up from his stomach. This he knows how to deal with. He laughs his best fake laugh while patting Ho-jun on his shoulder, making sure to show how much it amuses him.

“Don’t worry, Ho-junah, I get along fine with him now, we’re good friends” Yunho says, and his friend nods.

“I guess I just didn’t notice when it happened. You never used to mix well before, and now it’s almost impossible to drag you away from him,” Ho-jun says with a shrug.

The drinks thankfully arrive before Yunho has to reply.

Since Yunho is driving Changmin’s car, he doesn’t drink anything with alcohol, not that he usually does when he’s just out with his friends. It leaves his head clear as he drives down the highway towards the Han river, unfortunately so clear that Ho-jun’s words keep getting replayed. Not only Ho-jun’s but Heechul’s words too. Maybe he’s missing something, maybe he’s blind to something other people can see.

Either way he’s heard it all before, even though he’s almost managed to forget what it was like back then.

He’s not new to people mentioning marriage whenever they’re talking about him and Changmin. Quite the opposite. What is new is that words like that have never bothered him this much before. They have never stuck to his skin so that he can hear them even in his sleep.

~~~~~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ho ho hoo! Yunho what is going on? 🤭 Leave a comment and make this author incredibly happy. Find me on twitter @EmiLovesTaemin to catch me drooling over all sorts of things but mostly Changmin's Chocolate atm. Cho- cho-! Chocolate!


	3. Or; Isn't Your Apartment Ready Yet?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _Who knew cats could be arsonists? Or that water pipes can actually disintegrate inside the walls? Or that floor heating can destroy wooden floors? Yunho’s apartment seemingly seeks revenge on him while he tries to solve yet another problem- the problem in question being the lonely life that his band mate Changmin is leading. Can Yunho fix his apartment, successfully survive living off of Changmin’s “couch”, AND find Changmin a date that sticks?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> DISCLAIMER: I do not claim that the events taking place in this story are real, nor do I own the characters, but the story is completely mine. This is not intended for commercial purposes. Please do not copy to another site without permission.
> 
> This is a shorter chapter but there is some Development. Please enjoy! 💜

~~~~~

It starts the following evening while he sits in a chair next to Changmin in the _Kiss the Radio_ broadcast room, listening to Leeteuk introducing a corner. He feels hot and then cold, and his forehead starts to get clammy. He holds it together, even sings backup chorus for Changmin when gets tricked into singing a ballad, but when the broadcast is over he can feel how red his cheeks must be. Yunho’s manager can tell at least, and he manages to get them out of the building in what must be record time.

Yunho falls asleep during the car ride back, and when he wakes up it’s with that muddled sense of confusion that you feel when you’re sick.

“You’re going straight to bed, and don’t even think about coming to work tomorrow,” Yunho’s manager tells him after both he and Changmin have put their cold hands against Yunho’s forehead.

Changmin almost hits him later when he’s collapsed onto the bed, after barely managing to wash his face and brush his teeth, and asks if “Leeteuk will be angry because we didn’t go out to celebrate?”

“He’ll understand, I’ll explain it to him again tomorrow,” Changmin says, barely having restrained himself from hitting Yunho’s shoulder, “you’re an idiot sometimes.”

“He just got the show back, I don’t want to appear ungrateful that he invited us,” Yunho says.

Changmin sighs and pulls the duvet up over Yunho’s chest.

“I said I’ll explain.”

Yunho sleeps a few hours, then wakes up again. Changmin is still awake, watching TV in the living room when Yunho goes to get a glass of water.

“Hyung?” he asks and gets up.

“I think I’m gonna need painkillers,” Yunho admits as Changmin checks his temperature again. Yunho can’t stop himself from leaning into the touch.

“Go back to bed and I’ll bring you some,” Changmin says, voice soft and low. Yunho thinks he might be imagining things because he hasn’t seen that look on Changmin’s face in a long time. That mix of adoration, worry, and youthful naivete.

He does as he’s told, goes back to bed and crawls underneath the oppressively hot duvet, and waits for Changmin.

That look is still there, when he arrives with a painkiller and a glass of deliciously cool water.

“You make me worry when you act so unaware of your own body,” Changmin tells him as he too joins Yunho on the bed, “passion and pure gumption can only take you so far, hyung.”

Yunho, reaches out and wraps his warm fingers around Changmin’s cold fingers. He lets their hands rest in the space between them.

“It doesn’t matter because you’re always here to keep an eye on me,” Yunho says, completely sincere. It’s not an exaggeration, at least now that his brain is fuzzy he knows it to be true.

He thinks he hears Changmin laugh a bit, but he’s already too tired to stay awake, his limbs feeling heavier than led.

This time Yunho sleeps until morning.

When he wakes up it’s because Changmin is gently patting his arm while saying his name. He squints in the gloom of the early morning, finally managing to focus on his friends’ face.

“I made you rice porridge, do you think you can get up and eat?”

Yunho nods and demonstratively sits up. He feels much better after he’s slept, although still a bit weak.

“Where are you going?” he asks Changmin. A Changmin who’s wearing nice jeans, a cashmere sweater and has put on what looks like base makeup.

“I’m going to a meeting, you know the one with the choreographer. I’m gonna take notes so don’t worry. And then I’m going to a cooking class, with that chef I told you about last week remember?” Changmin says and Yunho nods, yes he remembers something vaguely like that.

He’s led to the couch where there’s a tray with a steaming bowl and a mug of tea on the side table. Changmin efficiently covers his legs with a blanket and hands him the TV remote.

“Take the painkillers after you’ve eaten, and only after you’ve eaten,” Changmin says and Yunho gives him a wobbly smile.

It’s mostly wobbly because of the fact that he’s got a fever, but also a bit because he wants to hug Changmin and tell him to not go. Yunho knows that this is out of character even for him, so he keeps that urge to himself.

He eats the rice porridge after Changmin has left, it’s delicious and not too salty. There’s tiny pieces of carrot in it that Yunho instinctively knows that Changmin has meticulously chopped hours earlier. He feels warm on the inside, from the food he tells himself.

Yunho falls back into a slumber, with the empty bowl on the tray, and the sound of the TV turned down low. The day outside is grey, and mostly blocked out by the blinds.

This time it’s the sound of the front door unlocking that wakes Yunho up. He stretches and yawns, turning his head so he can see Changmin walk into the room with a bag in his hand.

“You’re back,” he says, and receives a big smile in return. He waits for Changmin to put away whatever it is he had in the paper bag, and then he waves his hand for him to come over.

“Are you feeling better, Yunho?” Changmin asks while standing next to him to check his temperature. Yunho unashamedly presses his forehead against Changmin’s cool fingers and sighs in contentement. 

“Mhm, much better. Come here, I’m cold” he says and lifts the edge of the blanket. Changmin freezes. Normally Yunho would never ask. Normally Yunho doesn’t get urges to use Changmin as a hot water bottle. Normally Yunho likes it to be as cold as a fridge in the room he sleeps - but these are not normal circumstances. Yunho really must look pitiful where he’s curled up on the couch because even Changmin seems to get over whatever reason he had to freeze in motion. He does so very quickly because seconds later he lies down on the couch too.

It’s a bit awkward, but Yunho snuggles closer and wraps his arms around Changmin. It’s just what he needed, he realizes, as he suddenly doesn’t feel sick at all.

“Better?” Changmin asks, voice low and soft like earlier that morning. It’s late afternoon now.

“Much better, even if you’re made out of concrete or something” Yunho replies as he breathes in Changmin’s cologne. 

“We can’t all be soft teddy bears like you, someone’s gotta attract the mature audience,” Changmin jokes back. They both chuckle a bit before falling into a comfortable silence.

Yunho is stroking Changmin’s cashmere clad back with one hand. They soon manage to shift until all their limbs fit together, despite how long they are and the limited space of the couch. It’s something new, and Yunho is sure that it should be very weird, except it isn’t. It feels perfectly normal to have Changmin breathe softly against his bangs.

He remembers that Changmin doesn’t even really like skinship, not with other men that is, but Yunho has noticed how that rule applies differently to different people. Changmin doesn’t mind touching Yunho, or Yunho touching him. Or Minho, or Kyuhyun, or sometimes Siwon. He has a very limited idea about how Changmin behaves around his friends that aren’t involved in the business, he’s never managed to get that close. But mostly Changmin doesn’t seem to mind how Yunho sometimes hugs him really close and really tight when they’re alone. It’s the one physical contact that Yunho is glad that Changmin doesn’t hate.

Changmin keeps his soft voice that seems to be just for Yunho all through the evening after their short nap. They reheat the things Changmin cooked in cooking class and Yunho moans happily, compliments and pats Changmin’s hand while they eat because they are the most delicious dishes he’s eaten in a long time. Changmin blames his red ears on the red wine.

~~~~~

The continuation is a bit more subtle. Yunho doesn’t even know what he’s started, he only knows that from then on they sleep closer at night. They lean against each other more, Changmin sleeps on his shoulder in the car to work and their legs tangle as Changmin watches the news or reads a book in bed before sleep.

It’s a breakthrough, Yunho decides. Maybe finally their friendship has deepened.

Yunho catches Changmin happily talking on the phone with his mother one day during a break in dance practice. He stops just outside the room to listen with his heart in his throat.

“I’m taking good care of him, mom.”

“Yes it’s going great, we’ve got the director on board so now we just have to finalize the recordings and we can continue with planning the tour.”

“I know, I know, I will make sure Yunho doesn’t overwork himself because that way I get to take it easy too,” Changmin says with a soft laugh.

When Yunho quietly leaves to go get them both some coffee he has a big smile on his face that he can’t seem to get rid off. The nice woman working in the cash register in the cafeteria is blushing by the time he’s finished with complimenting everything about her.

Everyone gets an extra joyful greeting that day, which creates panic in some of the younger NCT members and makes Minho laugh hysterically as he passes them in the hallway.

“He has big teeth and looks like a wolf, but he’s the nicest sheep in the barn,” Minho jokes, “I swear he’s only bitten me twice.”

The NCT members finally laugh a bit, then bow like there’s no tomorrow, and scurries off leaving Yunho with his fellow member of the burning passion trio of the agency that allegedly not even the founder Lee Soo-man wants to have dinner alone with.

“I stopped in on our Changminnie, just to check if he’s alive and safe or if you’ve chained him to the stove,” Minho says with a quick bow. Ever cheeky and respectful. Yunho laughs. Yes, these were the kinds of jokes they used to get all the time back then, but somehow it doesn’t make him feel as tired as it used to.

“You’re free to come check in on the apartment yourself, I don’t drink so you might as well keep him company,” Yunho says.

Minho looks a bit stumped.

“What, the apartment is tainted now that I’ve set my foot in it?” Yunho asks.

“No, I just thought... never mind, sure I’ll bring stuff over and keep him company when I get a night off,” Minho says.

Their whole conversation seems to have gotten off on the wrong foot because Yunho swears that they’re not on the same page at all. He frowns, the smile from earlier fading.

“Or you know, invite him over to your place, to play games or whatever. I really have to go though, this coffee is burning my hands,” Yunho says and tries to be as blasé about it as he possibly can.

Minho seems to catch up with the conversation, he smiles and nods, “ah yes, Yunho hyung, don’t let me keep you.”

When Minho finally comes over a few nights later, armed with black plastic bags filled with clinking bottles, Yunho can’t help but to notice the short looks he receives from the younger SHINee member.

“I’m going out, he declares as Changmin is busy loading the bottles into the fridge. Changmin’s response is muffled and unintelligible but Yunho hurries to the front door without bothering to find out what he said.

“You’re not staying?” Minho asks as he saunters after him, still wearing his long camel coat.

“No, no. I’ll let you two boys have some fun without a grownup present,” Yunho says, he desperately hopes that Minho is buying his jokeish attitude because he’s making Yunho slightly uncomfortable with those looks he’s giving him. The kinds of looks that says that he knows something, and Yunho has no idea what it is the younger man knows.

When he comes home much later after a long dinner with one of his old school friends he finds Changmin asleep on the couch. Minho is nowhere to be seen.

He hunches down next to the couch and pushes Changmin’s bangs back, they’re a bit too long now and they keep irritating the younger by falling into his eyes. He can smell the slight air of alcohol on Changmin’s breath as he stretches and wakes.

“What time is it?” Changmin asks, his voice slightly high and blunt from being unused. Yunho finds it absolutely adorable. If he didn't’ know better he’d think it was a part of his seldom used aegyo repertoire.

“It’s 2:40. Did Minho leave already?”

“Yes,” Changmin says and yawns, followed by a stretch of his body that makes his sweatshirt ride up over his stomach. Yunho pushes it back down out of reflex. When he looks up he’s met by Changmin’s big open eyes.

“Have you washed up already?” Yunho asks, forcing his hand away from the flat and firm planes of Changmin’s abs.

Changmin nods once, his eyes still fixed on Yunho. When he suddenly tries to get up he forces Yunho to stand up and back away in order to not create a collision.

“Just gonna brush my teeth, then the bathroom is all yours.”

Yunho stays in the living room for a while, he watches the Han river and the city beyond before lowering the blinds.

Their friendship still isn’t, and has never been, as carefree and easy to navigate as the one Changmin shares with Minho or Kyuhyun. He has always known this, but this is the first time that Yunho can really feel the envy burning inside of him.

~~~~~

“Hyung,” Changmin says while they’re in the car on the way to a commercial photo shoot one morning.

“Mhm.”

The grey cityline looms in the distance outside the car. October is just about to become November and there is no warmth in the sun. Most of the trees have lost their fresh greenery and yellow and brown has replaced it.

Waking up this morning had been a bit more awkward than usual. Yunho had fallen asleep on his side with his back turned towards Changmin, but sometime during the night he had turned around and pulled Changmin close. It would’ve been a nice way to wake up, except his body had decided that this was a perfect occasion for morning wood. Said biological effect had even been pressed slightly against Changmin’s hip.

Panic couldn’t even describe how he’d felt when he was awake enough to realize their position, but Changmin was still asleep so he could carefully get up and away and take a cold shower.

The memory of it was however still present at the back of his mind all the way through breakfast, which Yunho had taken care of for once, and even now hours later in the company van.

He feels slightly guilty.

“How is the renovation of your apartment going? Did they get the materials that got delayed?” Changmin asks.

Yunho laughs, remembering the phone call about the complete and sudden disintegration of his floor heating that he’d gotten yesterday. An additional renovation job that would probably take more than a month.

“Oh the new walls were perfect for about two hours until they realized they’d used the wrong plaster for the drywalls,” Yunho says instead. He’s not sure why, it just slips out. A quick look at his manager, who knows the full situation, tells him that he hasn’t heard his lie as he’s busy instructing the driver about their schedule.

“I sure hope your insurance company covers this,” Changmin says with a sigh.

“I guess, I mean they do. So... I hate to ask it of you but can I stay a bit longer?”

Yunho turns to face his friend as completely as he can with the seatbelt obstructing him. He might even do his best attempt at a puppy eyes look.

“I guess I can send the food and electric bill to that constructor of yours,” Changmin says seriously but then he smiles and pushes Yunho’s face away with his hand. A move that sparks a childish push and tickle game that makes both their managers turn back in their seats and raise their eyebrows at them.

“I thought they were past thirty,” one says.

“Mine was doing great until yours came into the picture again.”

It makes both Changmin and Yunho laugh even harder to the further desperation of the managers.

~~~~~

It’s in the middle of this new and unusual balance between them that Changmin informs him that he’s going on a second date with the hairdresser that Heechul had set him up with weeks ago.

_That’s great!_ is what Yunho should say, this is what he’s been aiming for. He wanted a good girl for Changmin so he’d stop being a tragic maiden in the top of a castle tower. Instead he awkwardly pats Changmin on the back in an attempt to buy himself time.

“Yunho?” Changmin asks quietly, the stylists might be coming back any minute with the wardrobe change.

“Heechul will be so proud,” Yunho manages to say with what he hopes is a smile, “maybe he should use his matchmaking skills more often.”

“It’s just a date,” Changmin says, a bit defensively. He’s got that serious face he uses when he thinks Yunho has done something wrong, like leaving his bathroom towel on the floor or if he’s spilled something without immediately wiping it up. Or maybe it’s a different face altogether.

“Anyway, it’s tonight, just so you know,” he ads and walks off to the other side of the room to take off his clothes behind a few racks of outfits.

Yunho, still very confused, stays where he is and he still doesn’t know why this situation ended up like it did when the stylists return.

About halfway through the photo shoot Yunho realizes that he can’t stay at home in the apartment while Changmin goes on a date. It’s just weird, and he should be out there being social too. At least that’s what he tells himself. So when BoA sends him a photo of her friend’s cute toy poodle in Kakao he grabs at the opportunity and asks if they can’t meet up for those drinks she’s been inviting him to for months.

BoA, the lifesaving angel that she is, happily accepts.

~~~~~

Boa, Kwon Bo-ah, his confidant, sister in arms, the Jerry to his Tom, sits waiting by the stylish and sleek bar when he arrives.

She spots Yunho in the mirror behind the bar as he’s walking over, turns, and catches him in a big hug. Yunho feels slightly overdressed in his slacks and button down shirt combo, compared to her jeans and sweater outfit, but at least she’s got her hair done to perfection while his is unstyled after the quick shower he took after the photo shoot. He hadn’t bothered to do anything about his face or his hair before leaving, he didn’t want to linger in the apartment too long and become a part of Changmin’s preparation for his date again. 

“I missed you,” she says happily and squeezes him extra tight.

“It’s not my fault you keep going to work in Japan only when we go back to Korea,” Yunho says with a pout.

“It’s a management conspiracy,” she says.

Turns out the restaurant they’re in is a newly opened Spanish restaurant, so while BoA sips on what she’s dubbed “a perfect glass of red”, Yunho drinks a fruity virgin drink with lots of orange slices. Plate after plate of tiny perfect dishes with smoked meats, sausages, grilled vegetables, and rings of fried squid arrive at their booth.

“Wow I’ve never been in a place like this before,” Yunho declares as the waiter walks away with an empty tray.

“It’s great, isn’t it?” Boa says and grabs a piece of smoked ham with her fork.

Yunho can only agree, the food is amazing and as they eat and try all the dishes, he catches himself thinking that it would’ve been great if Changmin could’ve come too. Only Changmin is somewhere else, having a romantic date. It shouldn’t sting, but it does.

“So, Jung Yunho, are you still sleeping on Changmin’s couch?” Boa asks later when the plates are almost empty, and as she sits back with the glass of wine in her hand. She’s on the opposite side of the table, watching him closely.

Ehm, yes, the couch.

The couch, he thinks again. How did he end up on Changmin’s bed now again?

“Yes, still on the couch,” he says while his mind desperately tries to make heads or tails out of it. Is there no spare room in Changmin’s apartment? Is there no sleeping mats and extra duvets? Why exactly is he sleeping in Changmin’s bed? Yunho has to push the questions away to stay focused on the conversation.

“Isn’t your apartment ready yet?”

“Well, there’s been some issues with the walls...” Yunho says. He stops himself halfway through the lie he told Changmin that morning.

“Hmmm, you’ve been harder to get a hold of than usual,” she says. It’s not an accusation, but Yunho feels bad about it either way. 

“And tonight you're distracted,” Boa continues, “it’s almost as if Shim Changmin has you hooked, line and sinker.”

“That’s a bit unfair, you can’t blame it on Changmin.”

“I’m not blaming him, I think it’s cute,” she says and smiles. Yunho’s stomach drops.

“There’s nothing cute about me staying in Changmin’s apartment while mine is being renovated,” Yunho argues.

Boa laughs a bit, then puts the glass down and leans forward on her elbows against the table. Yunho in turn, leans back.

“No, but it’s cute how obsessed you become about Changmin. It’s always been like that, only this time he’s let it go on for longer than usual,” she says with that confidence that he’s always admired in her. He just wishes that the message she’s conveying had been a different one.

It’s not like it’s the first time Yunho has heard someone say that he fixates on his bandmate. He was even told that once or twice back when they were still trainees, half a lifetime ago. However it is the first time that Boa has pointed it out in private like this.

“I’m not obsessed,” Yunho says. It’s the standard response.

“Heechul oppa told me about the blind dates when I ran into him this morning,” she says, her face now very serious. Weirdly enough almost the same kind of serious look he had seen on Changmin earlier that day.

Suddenly his temples hurt with the onset of a headache, this definitely wasn’t the subject he wanted to talk about tonight. He’d preferred any other subject but the fact that Changmin is on a blind date with a beautiful hairdresser just at this moment. Maybe they’re trying each other’s food now, Changmin jokingly commenting that she has better intuition when it comes to the menu because the food she ordered tastes better. Maybe she’s smiling back at Changmin while blushing, vehemently denying any such talent.

Perhaps they’ve already moved on to dessert, and Changmin is now offering a piece of his green tea tiramisu to his date, while she offers him the strawberry on her rare cheesecake.

You have to stop thinking about this, Yunho tells himself. How did he end up like this, having these thoughts? He rubs his face with his hands in frustration.

“Okay, yes, I’ve asked Heechul to set up a few dates, that’s all.”

Boa nods and rests her chin against the heel of her hand, “and he’s on one tonight, am I right?”

Yunho pauses, tries to think of a better thing to say than the truth, but fails.

“Yes.”

“So that’s why you jumped at the chance of meeting me. Don’t lie to me Yunho, we’ve both been in Seoul for three weeks but you’ve also been staying with Changmin that whole time. I don’t mind, actually I thought it was good for you. Let me finish,” she says and holds up a hand when Yunho attempts to interrupt, “but now I hear about these... dates. Truly, it worries me.”

“I just realized he was lonely, that’s all,” Yunho explains while sitting slumped against the backrest. He’s glad that they’ve been seated in a quiet and empty corner of the restaurant.

“I thought ‘he would be happier if he wasn’t sitting all alone in that apartment every night’ and I acted on it, he’s family to me.”

“Yes, but a brother doesn’t get jealous when his sibling goes on a date,” Boa points out.

“I never said anything about being jealous,” Yunho argues back.

It makes her laugh.

“Yunho, sweetie, you’re nothing if not easy to read.

He scoffs, but can’t do it wholeheartedly. Not even with his arms folded across his chest does he feel like he’s got any control over this conversation. 

“You’re not his brother or his friend, I hate to break it to you Yunho, but you love him,” Boa says in her typical matter of fact way, as if she isn’t saying something completely and utterly ridiculous. Off the charts ridiculous, so amazingly absurd that Yunho hardly knows what to say.

“Of course I love him!” he hisses quietly, suddenly very aware of every other customer in the locale.

“No Yunho... not like that, I mean that you LOVE love him,” Boa says with a sigh.

“That’s ridiculous. I’m straight, _he’s_ straight! We like women!” Yunho hisses back.

Yunho’s head is pounding, his chest hurts and he feels his forehead get clammy with cold sweat. He just didn’t want to sit home and wait for Changmin to come home like an old wallflower, this has nothing to do with jealousy. He does not want to be on a date with Changmin instead of the girl he’s sure is very nice from what Heechul has told him. He’s happy for Changmin, this was his plan all along, and he is most definitely not in love with Changmin. A man. It’s impossible.

Boa throws her hands up, but not in defeat.

“You can say what you want, but I know you better than the back of my own hand. I know how you look when you’ve fallen in love,” she says. Yunho has to stop himself from letting out a pained whine as he agrees - she’s always known him a bit too well.

“I... do I really look like that?” Yunho asks, face now buried in his hands. It’s a bit too much for him to take in, that his friend would look at how he looks at Changmin and interpret that as romantic love. Because it isn’t how he feels, right? The icky feeling he gets while imagining Changmin kissing his date goodnight is not jealousy - _surely_. He just doesn’t want to get involved in, or even think about, his friend’s love life.

But of course, this is not the day when the universe is on Yunho’s side. Boa reaches out across the table and lands the final blow.

“That’s how you’ve always looked when you’re around him, only this time it’s plain as day.”

Well fuck. Maybe she’s got a point.

~~~~~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Boa was so much fun to write because she's rational and Smart. Not that Yunho isn't, but he's in his 30's and he's only just now realizing things about himself so he's at a disadvatage. Anyway, please leave a comment and please check out Changmin wearing lace and thigh high boots on Show!MusicCore 🤤💕 Come find me on twitter @EmiLovesTaemin if you wanna know what kind of dork wrote this story 💜


	4. Or; When You've Made Your Bed And You Have to Cuddle In It

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _Who knew cats could be arsonists? Or that water pipes can actually disintegrate inside the walls? Or that floor heating can destroy wooden floors? Yunho’s apartment seemingly seeks revenge on him while he tries to solve yet another problem- the problem in question being the lonely life that his band mate Changmin is leading. Can Yunho fix his apartment, successfully survive living off of Changmin’s “couch”, AND find Changmin a date that sticks?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> DISCLAIMER: I do not claim that the events taking place in this story are real, nor do I own the characters, but the story is completely mine. This is not intended for commercial purposes. Please do not copy to another site without permission.
> 
> I'm back with another update 😎 I couldn't wait with posting this chapter even though the following chapters are less completed so I will have to write more and edit them more througoughly. So posting is going to take a bit longer from now on. Anyway here is the fourth chapter where Yunho will have to deal with some stuff. Enjoy!

~~~~~

When Yunho steps out of the cab and onto the curb on the street behind Changmin’s tall apartment building of glass and concrete, he finds that he is terrified that Changmin will not be at home. It’s a sinking feeling in his stomach that he now realizes has been there ever since he’d found out about this second date. A sinking feeling that only got worse after what Boa has just told him - after what he might just have figured out.

Jealousy is not flattering, it’s founded on the belief that someone belongs solely to you and that you can lay claims on that person. Yunho has no right to Changmin, that is a fact he’s sure of. So even if he wants him, he has no right to make demands. Still, as he walks down the lamplit street and walks inside the back entrance, he wants Changmin to be at home to greet him with a “welcome back.” He wants nothing more in the entire world. He wants Changmin to erase all the doubts and get rid of that sinking feeling in his stomach by being his regular self. Because Boa, however perceptive, hasn’t spent the week together with them. She definitely hasn’t been living inside Yunho’s chest where every moment with Changmin has calmed him.

He’s miserable during the elevator ride up to the right floor. His feet feel like they’re made out of lead as he walks down the hallway, and when he’s entering the code into the look on Changmin’s apartment door he fumbles and gets it wrong _twice_ before he takes a deep breath and gets it right on the third try. It’s with a heavy heart and a tightness in his throat, that he steps into a dark entryway, removes his shoes and lines them up nicely with his sneakers.

Yunho doesn’t even even bother to hang his clothes up in the temporary closet that’s been set up for him at the very end of Changmin’s wardrobe. Instead he undresses in the bathroom, throws every item in the hamper, and puts on a pair of shorts and a T-shirt. Even his attempt at brushing his teeth is cut short by his misery. Changmin isn’t at home, there had stood no shoes by the front door, and there’s not a single light on in the entire apartment.

He avoids looking at himself in the mirror.

Whenever he’s this down in the dumps, when his mind can’t stop spinning with too many thoughts and worries, he always sleeps on the couch. It’s where he’s headed when he remembers that he needs to charge his phone, so he looks around for his or Changmin’s chargers. He goes to look in the study when he sees the curled up shape on the bed. _One_ singular curled up shape on the bed.

Yunho stops mid step and holds his breath, as if he’s afraid of disturbing a mirage. “Get a grip,” he tells himself and lets his breath out.

Changmin’s face is barely visible in the yellow light of the city night outside the windows, but there he is asleep. Yunho walks over, heart in his throat and tears welling up in his eyes. It feels as if all the tension slowly leaves his body, the only thing remaining is a shivery kind of joy.

Yunho stands at the foot of the bed for a while, quietly wiping a tear or two that he hasn’t managed to force back. He doesn’t even notice that Changmin is awake until he speaks.

“You’re staring, it’s creepy,” he says with that soft and sleep-muddled voice of his that makes Yunho’s knees go a bit wobbly.

It snaps him out of his reverie.

“Sorry, I was just gonna borrow the phone charger and go sleep on the couch,” Yunho blurts out.

“The couch?” Changmin asks and sits up.

“I don’t wanna... impose,” Yunho says.

“Don’t be ridiculous, you’ve finally stopped sleeping on a couch and your back is much better. Don’t look at me like that old man,” Changmin says and pats the empty space next to him, “please stay.”

It’s just the right encouragement that Yunho needs, a well-meaning invitation and an innocent request, and then he’s forgotten all about his phone that needs to be charged. He climbs onto the bed, shuffles underneath the duvet and takes a deep breath of the smell of Changmin’s fabric softener. Of Changmin’s scent, really, who is he kidding.

“Good boy,” Changmin says, half-asleep, and pats Yunho on the cheek. It’s an innocent gesture, one they’ve shared before, but this time it strikes a chord deep inside of Yunho. He tries very hard not to think of what Boa had said earlier. Of course he fails.

Her words don’t feel as heavy as before, not when he’s here with Changmin.

He falls asleep with a smile on his face, Yunho suddenly doesn’t care if he’s deluded and confused. Changmin came back home to _him_ and that is all that matters.

~~~~~

“Aren’t you gonna ask me how it went?” Changmin asks with a cheeky smile as they sit by the breakfast bar and eat the kimbap that Yunho had gone out to buy after waking up. He’s clearly in a much better mood than he’d been in while talking about any of his previous dates with Yunho.

Yunho, feeling much lighter than yesterday, complies.

“How did it go?”

Yunho tries to act as if the depth of his coffee cup is suddenly the most interesting thing in the world. Okay, he’s never said he’s brave. Yunho braces for whatever answer Changmin is going to give. He can deal with it, he feels good. Changmin was there when he came back home and that is all that counts. Jealousy be damned, if it comes down to it he knows that he will always have Changmin at his side as a friend.

“Crap,” Changmin deadpans and completely interrupts Yunho’s train of thought.

“Excuse me?” Yunho asks as he turns to look at him, relenting the view of the coffee cup.

The younger man still looks kind of cheeky as he happily chews on one of the kimbap pieces.

“She didn’t think dating an idol would be a good idea. I told her that I’m definitely not an idol anymore, but I can’t really blame her from coming to that conclusion,” Changmin says, completely unbothered.

“Eh, no?”

“To be frank I didn’t feel a connection with her. Poor Heechul, another failed attempt. Poor you,” Changmin says and bumps their shoulders together, smiling.

Yunho forces himself to swallow the bite that he’s been chewing on for he doesn’t know how long.

His standard reaction happens almost automatically, and the false reassurance and the unnecessary joke that comes with it is out of his mouth before he can think better of it.

“I know a girl that I’ve been meaning to introduce you to for a while, I mean if women aren’t jinxed for you now. Maybe I should introduce you to a nice boy instead,” Yunho says followed by a laugh that even to his own ears sounds incredibly forced.

Changmin bumps their shoulders against each other again, surprisingly not making a barfing sound at the joke.

“Whatever.”

“Whatever to...?” Yunho asks incredulously. Yunho thinks it’s a miracle his mouth is even working well enough to shape words.

“Boy or girl, it’s not like I’ve ever been picky about that part,” Changmin says and obviously doesn’t realize how Yunho’s brain breaks and shatters into tiny pieces in front of him because he continues, “but no more dates, please hyung.”

Changmin. Boys. He’s fine with them. With boys, dating them. That’s something he’s fine with.

“Uh-huh,” Yunho says and almost dips the piece of kimbap between his chopstick in his coffee instead of the dish with low-sodium soy sauce.

Changmin is, what, is he bisexual? Is he gay? They’ve known each other for sixteen years and Yunho has had no idea of this? Yunho shakes his head. No that can’t be it. He must’ve misheard, or maybe he’s so far gone after the jealousy breakdown last night that he’s just making things up.

There’s no way. Yunho has never met anyone who’s more open about their love of pretty women, there has never been a single incident testifying to the contrary.

Are you sure though, his mind asks him. All that flirting with his hyungs and his juniors... the aegyo he does for them under the guise of it being a joke. The way he can charm any man in a room within minutes with his delicate ways or with the sharpness of his mind.

Holy shit, Yunho thinks as he helplessly returns the wide and beautiful smile that Changmin is giving him. Changmin has just come out to him.

~~~~~

The day couldn’t be off to a more strange start. Yunho’s mind still reeling meanwhile Changmin is in a mysteriously good mood. His manager has a worried look on his face when Yunho spaces out for the umpteenth time during a meeting about the upcoming award season.

“You shouldn’t stay out all night with women,” Changmin jokes as they leave the headquarters to go see their wardrobe designer about some custom blazers. Yunho hears his manager almost choke on thin air before he swings around on the spot to stare accusingly at Yunho.

“So _that’s_ what’s wrong with you! Who did you meet?!” he whispers angrily and it doesn’t really help Yunho that Changmin let’s out a burst of his staccato laughter, hooking an arm around Yunho’s waist while he does so.

“I had a late dinner with Boa sunbaenim,” Yunho says.

It’s a reply that doesn’t seem to do much to calm his manager. So Yunho gets into the car instead, pulling Changmin with him.

“Unfortunately this boring old grandpa is telling the truth,” Changmin says as they sit down on the back seat together, not on separate seats like they always used to. Yunho’s mind instantly travels back to their conversation earlier that morning. It has made him even more aware than before of where Changmin looks, where he touches, how they touch each other. 

If Yunho didn’t know better, he’d say that he was becoming painfully aware of an attraction towards his friend. Especially now, while he’s looking at the fullness of Changmin’s bottom lip and his impossible cheekbones, and... Yunho shakes his head, that train of thought will lead him into nothing but trouble.

“Oh I know he’s predictable, but in the calmest of waters,” his manager jokes a bit forced. Yunho chuckles a bit and puts his hand as inconspicuously as he can on Changmin’s upper thigh.

“I would tell you if something was going on,” he lies. “I was just catching up with a friend.”

The day doesn’t need any further complications but of course, the universe is not done with Yunho yet. He returns back home at around eight after going with the stylist to pick up some more of his wardrobe. When Yunho walks into the apartment he can hear the distinctive sound of the vacuum cleaner and Changmin’s voice humming a song. 

Yunho, filled with the jittery nerves of the day, doesn’t expect Changmin to be coming around the corner just as he goes into the living room, and they nearly crash into each other. There’s quite a lot of flailing going on after that and Changmin has to hold onto Yunho by grabbing his arm in order to not topple over, but they manage to regain their balance.

“You scared me,” Changmin says with a huff as he takes the earphones out of his ears and turns the cordless vacuum cleaner off.

“Sorry, I didn’t see you,” Yunho apologizes, they’re standing so close together that he has trouble focusing on Changmin’s face.

“Is everything okay, hyung? You’ve been distracted all day. Did something really happen yesterday after all?” Changmin asks, a slight frown appearing on his face.

Yunho has to bite back a slightly hysterical laughter, because oh boy if something had happened. Instead he shakes his head and reaches out to take Changmin’s hand in his. It’s as if his body is acting on its own.

“It’s just one of those days, don’t worry,” Yunho says. His skin tingles where their hands meet.

“You know that if anything is wrong or if you needed help you can always tell me right?” Changmin asks and he’s dead serious now, “there’s nothing that Jung Yunho can’t do, and I will remind you of it until you remember it too.”

“Changminah...”

Yunho spends a few seconds considering coming clean to Changmin. It’s just that he also realizes that he doesn’t even know what it is he’s supposed to confess to. So he bites his tongue and gives Changmin’s hand a final squeeze before letting go of it.

“The brother of my friend from elementary school went through his quarter life crisis when he turned 30 last summer and he said he felt much better after opening up about it, you know,” Changmin says as he turns the vacuum cleaner on again. Yunho shakes his head, no that’s not it. But it might be easier to let Changmin think that that’s what he’s going through.

Either way he can’t tell him anything right now, he needs to figure out what it is he’s actually experiencing first.

Perhaps it’s because his head is foggy from his confusion that he slips on his own slipper in the most undignified way possible. Changmin, ever ready, reaches out to steady him, but gravity is already doing its deed and the force pulls them both down. It’s in this tangled mess, Changmin laughing so hard that he shakes on top of him, that Yunho admits to himself that he’s a hundred percent attracted to his bandmate Shim Changmin.

What is he going to do? He asks himself in panic. Changmin, seemingly not noticing the turmoil going on inside him, looks down with his big and mismatched eyes. Yunho almost melts, his insides feeling warm and fuzzy, his face unconsciously smiling back up.

“You gotta stop making people fall for you,” Changmin jokes.

Yunho’s insides twist in a thrilling and horrifying way.

“You’re on top so I think it’s the other way around,” Yunho replies slightly out of breath.

Now this might complicate living together.

~~~~~

Yunho has just finished discussing the choreography for a new performance when their female dancers arrive at the practice room. Changmin is in Busan to shoot a pictorial, which is both relieving and a source of discomfort for him. They’d never been so close that they couldn’t go weeks without seeing each other, but now things are different. For Yunho at least.

The girls gather by the chairs and table in the resting area after greeting Yunho, their conversations resuming.

“So, did you finally get your apartment fixed?” one of the girls asks him as both he and the choreographer join them.

“Does everyone know?” Yunho says and laughs.

“Of course everyone knows,” she says.

“I think even the cleaners and the kitchen staff know,” someone else agrees.

Yunho playfully hangs his head and pouts which makes them all smile and coo at him. Their practice starts on that light note. Somehow it’s reassuring that he still feels affected by attention from women. That must mean he’s not lost his mind completely, surely.

He has to bite back a snort when the choreographer happily jokes that Changmin will be overjoyed with all the interaction they have planned between them and the girls on stage. Yunho spends the next hour beating himself up for that reaction, Changmin has always been honest about his attraction to women, and there’s no need to feel superior now that he knows that his friend can also be attracted to men.

His mind gets a much needed break later when he goes to the gym afterwards to run on the treadmill with music blasting through his earphones. 

Perhaps he should spend some time away from Changmin. Even though they haven’t spent every waking minute together it has been a bit intense. They had just come back from working for a longer period in Japan when his apartment decided to get completely fucked three times over, so they had spent several months together by now.

Even if it felt differently to live together in Tokyo compared to Seoul it was negated by the fact that they did not share a bed in Tokyo. They had never shared a bed in Tokyo. They had hardly shared bed anywhere at all before, and the times they had were so long ago that Yunho couldn’t even say which year it had been. He could not even completely blame it on the fire since he had been the one to go to Changmin, and he had been the one to invite himself into his bed. He had pulled Changmin down to him on the couch and felt happy when Changmin accepted the closeness. _Yunho_ had done all that.

That thought is a bit frightening because it means that if they were to go back to Tokyo tomorrow he’d bring this new... whatever it was, with him. This new awareness.

Because that’s what it is, he’s aware of his friend in a whole new way now and Yunho had no idea what to do about it. No idea at all.

So he ran and ran, pushing himself to his limit, and then stood in the changing room showers for much longer than necessary, trying to collect himself enough to go back home.

The apartment is quiet and dark when he gets there, there is no Changmin in the bedroom, kitchen, or on the couch with a quitar in his lap striking random chords while watching the news.

Yunho sends him a chat message and finds out that the company car is stuck in traffic a few miles from town.

Changmin sends him a sticker of a panda asleep and drooling which makes Yunho chuckle and almost forget about everything that is troubling him.

While the Kakao chat app is open he realizes that Heechul has sent him a message too. It’s a silly photo of Donghae with his mouth full of food. Yunho lies down on the couch and calls his older friend.

“I take back what I said earlier,” Heechul says directly as he picks up, “you call me much more now than you used to, so living with your Changminnie has actually improved your attitude towards your elders.”

“Ha ha,” Yunho says and rolls his eyes, “Hello to you too, hyung.”

“So how did the big date go, did your mission succeed?” Heechul asks expectantly.

“Ehm, about that. He asked me to tell you to hold it with the dates, and it seems like he’s not going to see the hairdresser again,” Yunho says.

“And you’re going to accept that? This doesn’t sound like passionate U-know Yunho at all.”

Heechul actually sounds a bit confused. “Did he say he was tired of girls and wanted to date boys or something? Is that why you gave up?”

Yunho’s breath catches in his throat and his stomach drops. His voice sounds pitched and strained when he speaks again, but there’s nothing he can do and it hardly even registers to him since his mind is hung up on more important things.

Like the fact that Heechul had just alluded to Changmin’s sexuality.

“Hyung, you shouldn’t joke about things like that,” Yunho says.

“Who’s joking? I’m not joking.”

“So... you knew... about...”

“Yunho, don’t tell me that this is a sore subject to you. Because I have to break it to you, there are gay people in the industry, you know that right?” Heechul says, his tone a bit more light than the subject deserves. At least in Yunho’s opinion.

“That’s not the point! The point is that Changmin likes men and I had NO IDEA!” Yunho says, or more like halfway shouts.

“Well that’s good, that means he’s good at keeping it private,” Heechul retorts completely unaffected by Yunho’s outburst.

Yunho sighs and shakes his head, his whole body is alive with tension. Yes that is good, Heechul has a point. It doesn’t make him feel less miserable though.

“But you knew, and you didn’t tell me,” he says, trying to keep his voice low and calm.

Heechul laughs and Yunho can imagine the smirk he’s sporting.

“Why would I tell you? You were never interested in that sort of thing anyway, and you were definitely not interested in Changmin,” Heechul pauses for a few seconds and Yunho tries swallowing the lump in his throat. If anything, his friend has a brain sharp as a katana.

“Or has this uncharacteristic panic of yours anything to do with the fact that you really _are_ interested in Changmin in that way?”

There it is, now that not only one but two people have said it, it's turned horrifyingly real.

“Have you been talking with Boa? I swear you’re both delusional. I’m definitely not interested in Changmin like that, I’m just trying to relay a message from him to you. Okay? I don’t want to date him,” Yunho says. His face is burning hot and his palms are sweaty. This was not how he had imagined this conversation to go.

Heechul is of course laughing at him.

“Sure, Jung Yunho, but let me ask you this. Isn’t your apartment finished yet?”

Yunho bristles and bites off a quick “No!” before hanging up.

~~~~~

The truth is that his apartment could have been finished by now except Yunho had never really pushed the projects and he’d taken almost a week to decide on the new floors. He doesn’t even have to stay in Changmin’s apartment, he can afford to live in a hotel suite for a couple of months even. So this is not about his apartment, or his finances. Or even about practicality since it’s not like their managers have ever complained about picking them up separately even when they have joint schedules.

When Changmin comes home an hour later he looks tired. Yunho leans against the hallway wall as his friend takes his shoes off and lines them up neatly next to Yunho’s sneakers.

“Welcome home,” Yunho says and Changmin huffs in response.

“That sounded kinda disgusting, hyung. It’s _my_ house afterall.”

Yunho raises his eyebrow, two can play at this game, and reaches out to grab Changmin’s backpack and his coat.

“You stink, go get a shower,” he says and struts to the living room while Changmin complains about this and that. He eventually does as he’s told, and Yunho can hear the water in the shower turn on as he stands with his head deep inside Changmin’s fridge to find something edible that he can heat up.

After some digging around he finds some organic ox bone soup and decides that not even him can screw that up. So he pours the contents of the packet into a pot and puts it on the stove to heat up. He even cuts a green onion into tiny slices for topping, and sets out a few side dishes on the dining room table.

When Changmin appears again he’s clean, his hair still wet, but he still looks tired.

“Come one, sit down and I’ll bring you my bountiful catch,” Yunho jokes as he pushes Changmin to sit on a chair and goes to fetch the bowls with the now warm soup.

“And of course this,” Yunho says when he returns a second time, pulling out a bottle of makgeolli rice wine from behind his back.

“I love you, Jung Yunho,” Changmin exclaims as he reaches to take the bottle from him, face suddenly alight with bliss. It takes Yunho a few breaths to steady himself, to stop his mind from going to all the wrong places. He had meant the wine, not something else. 

Get a grip, Yunho internally scolds himself.

Changmin happily announces “itadakimasu” as he tastes the first spoonful of the soup, Yunho chuckles a bit at his language confusion.

While Changmin happily eats the soup and reaches for a piece of acorn jelly, Yunho turns the bottle of makgeolli over a few times to mix in the sediment at the bottom. He’s just about to pour some for himself in the small drinking bowl when Changmin protests and takes the bottle from him.

“First of all,” Changmin says after swallowing a mouthful of food, “why are you drinking? And second of all, at least you should let me pour.”

Yunho shrugs and holds the bowl respectfully in two hands so that Changmin can pour him a drink. Then he sets it down, and takes the bottle from Changmin to return the favor.

“I just felt like drinking something cold, and the bottle spoke to me from your fridge.”

He takes a sip after putting the bottle down and hums in delight, “when you don’t drink often you get to fully appreciate the taste when you do.”

Changmin chuckles in return and shakes his head.

“Hyung, I drink often because I really do appreciate the taste.”

Yunho has to agree to that, he has met very few people that appreciates a drink more than Changmin.

They sit quietly while eating for a while, on opposite sides of the white table. Seoul is dark and yellow outside the big windows, but the reflection against the glass mostly shows the two friends by the table.

Friends, Yunho repeats to himself.

He does have a tendency of getting foolishly attached to people around him that do nice things. Yunho must admit to that. Maybe it doesn’t have to be anything other than that. Maybe if he lets some time pass, and if he puts some distance between them, the feeling will fade. He is thirty two years old after all, it might just be a quarter life crisis just as Changmin had tactfully suggested. Changmin had had no idea what the real issue was however. And however much Yunho tries to squirm himself away from the issue it doesn’t take away the fact that while Yunho eats he can’t stop looking at Changmin.

Changmin’s impossible cheekbones, his big beautiful eyes, his long neck, his soft hair, the way his lips are so unusually shaped, his wide shoulders and his long and graceful fingers. He’s a city man alright, pretty and delicate to look at, but Yunho also knows that he’s firm to the touch. When they sometimes hug, or when he leans on the younger man, there’s nothing but muscles and bones for him to settle against. Yunho feels a bit soft and mushy around the edges in comparison even though he’s been on a very strict diet after coming back from his military service.

“You need to lose weight and look cool again,” Changmin had scolded him back then, and Yunho had passionately accepted the challenge.

In the year since Yunho has learnt that when he’s struggling he can let Changmin guide him back in the right direction. They’re a duo, and he trusts his maknae. So now when he’s longingly watching Changmin while feeling heat rise to his cheeks, he mourns the fact that he can’t ask Changmin for help.

That night, after sitting on Changmin’s bed and replying to his sister’s updates about his niece, he falls asleep on his side with an arm resting against Changmin’s stomach. Even if he should stay away, back off and give himself the distance he might need, he just can’t.

~~~~~

The year-end awards show nominations start to arrive, the ones that aren’t dependent on mass voting at least - and they’re not many but they’re there. They have a meeting with management where they’re told to quicken the pace with the performance preparations, and Yunho is glad that he’s already got the choreographer involved. The plan, albeit a very simple one, is to show off some of their strengths and to remind people that they’re still around. It’s a project that Yunho can’t help but to feel very passionate about.

Changmin on the other hand is already sighing and pouting as he clings to Yunho’s side and asks cutely for less dancing time.

“That won’t work on me,” Yunho says. They’re back in a practice room.

“Passionate to a fault,” Changmin mutters but he’s all smiles. 

Now that is... cute. Yunho has to think for a second, try to figure out if his heart had ever sped up like this when looking at Changmin before. It has just made a weird jump and is now furiously beating in his chest.

Changmin lets go of him and saunters over to his manager who’s on the phone. Yunho has a feeling that he’s got those hypnotizing phones to thank for a lot this past month. It has kept managers and stylists off his scent, and he’s pretty sure that Changmin has not been noticing all the staring Yunho has been doing at bedtime either.

Later, when he goes through his and the choreographers plans with Changmin, he pretends to not stiffen at the younger man’s enthusiastic response to the female dancers.

~~~~~

As if by divine intervention, or something a bit more sinister, the floors and the floor heating in Yunho’s apartment are finished in record time. Yunho suspects his manager might’ve meddled. Yunho considers doing something about the outdated kitchen fixings instead, now that he’s already started doing renovations.

When he meets up with Ho-jun for a quick game of pool, that turns into five games since Yunho is convinced that Ho-jun bumps into the table when he’s lining up his shots, he knows the question is going to come.

“Isn’t your apartment ready yet?” Ho-jun asks.

Yunho feels the prickling sense of irritation all over his skin. He pauses and stands up straight, waiting to take his next shot.

“The floor heating turns out to be bust so they’ve had to pull up all the floors,” he says, which isn’t technically a lie. He’s just not mentioning that this happened over a week ago and that it is already fixed.

~~~~~

Changmin leaves early in the morning the following day. Yunho had woken up by the alarm, and found himself yet again sleeping with Changmin in some kind of half-hug.

Yunho does his best attempt at acting aloof as Changmin stretches and gets out of the bed, cursing softly about the devils that gives him schedules that require him to be up before the sun.

“You’ll do great,” Yunho says and Changmin reaches back down to flick the top of his head with his fingers.

“I wanna know who it is you’re kissing up to to get the better schedule,” Changmin says and Yunho chukles a bit. Neither of them mention, or even act as if the fact that they’d just woken up in each other’s arms is a big thing.

Yunho stays in the bed, and slumbers as Changmin gets ready to leave. He stays in bed even after Changmin has shouted a goodbye to him from the front door. He stays in Changmin’s bed, with his face buried in Changmin’s pillow, breathing in the scent that is so essentially his friend’s.

He stays in bed for another hour, but then he starts to feel restless. The thoughts he’s been having about Changmin return, and Yunho realizes he’s practically daydreaming about him.

It can’t be normal to lie in bed and think about how it would feel to pull a friend in close and- Yunho doesn’t even want to finish that sentence in his own head. Maybe if he saw what it would actually be like, to be with a man, then the mystery and the fascination might disappear.

This is how Yunho ends up leaving the bed to find his tablet that he’s left by the TV. He lies down on the couch, opens an incognito window, and types in the word ‘gay’ into the search engine.

Ten minutes later he’s somehow ended up on a page with heavily censored images of men involved in all sorts of sexual acts with other men. The acts depicted in the images all look awkward to him, he scrolls down the page and pauses now and then to ponder the logistics of the positions, but he’s mostly just feeling embarrassed. That’s until he reaches one image where a couple is having anal sex, only the obviously taller and stronger man is not the one on top. Ah, he thinks, there’s this kind of play too. He can feel the blush creep up all the way from his chest to his cheeks.

He keeps frantically scrolling, trying to prove that that had just been a onetime reaction, that he most definitely isn’t attracted to all men in that way. That he’s just gotten too attached to Changmin and that it could be easily amended by letting some time pass.

But a few photos further down there’s one depicting a blowjob in a shower and Yunho feels a tingle at the base of his spine when he looks at it. There’s something so incredibly forbidden and enticing about the sight of a man with his mouth on another man’s cock, yet the feeling of excitement is muddled by panic.

He closes the browser app. Then he turns off the tablet for good measure.

His body is betraying him, flashing hot and cold all over, making his skin feel clammy with sweat. His mind is still a mess when he flees into the bathroom and practically throws his clothes off before turning on the shower and closing the glass door behind him.

Then he stands in the shower, almost hyperventilating as he tries to clear his head.

Yunho definitely regrets doing the search in the first place. It’s what they always warn about in fairytales, and he feels like Pandora, having opened the box out of curiosity only to have all the evils of the world burst out as soon as he’d opened the lid. There really is no doubt anymore that the attraction he’s just acknowledged is probably, most likely, a sexual one.

Thirty-two years old Jung Yunho, like most people, has an epiphany in the shower.

He has no idea how he’s going to get through the afternoon schedule without having a breakdown.

~~~~~

The tension of half a day of being so painfully aware of Changmin, his voice, the way he moves, the sweat on his forehead during practice, his concentrated look as the choreographer plans with them... it gets to Yunho. And it culminates that evening, when Changmin turns the lights off and pulls the duvet up to cover them both.

It’s an innocent act, Changmin has done it many times before, and they’ve let their legs entangle, and their feet touch. They’ve been much closer than this in bed lately, but right now the inches between them feel like millimeters, as if Yunho has been poured all over Changmin’s skin.

Yunho regrets ever letting this habit of sharing bed, even if it’s Changmin’s big one, to ever take a hold.

The fact is that he sleeps better like this than he’s ever done before. Not even in the army did he sleep so well. He likes having Changmin’s smell all around him, and the smell of the fabric softener Changmin uses. He likes being able to reach out and touch him, to hear his soft breaths as he sleeps. Yunho thinks that he even likes the way Changmin sometimes snores. The whole concept of sharing his bed has up until this moment comforted him.

So, despite his new view on things, Yunho reaches out and pulls Changmin against him with an arm around his waist. He pulls him against his chest, holding him there tightly. Changmin makes a surprised sound and stiffens for a second before he relaxes in Yunho’s grip.

Yunho, as he buries his face against Changmin’s neck, realizes that he’s afraid of losing Changmin. He’s deadly frightened, so scared that his heart is going wild and his chest is burning with some unknown feeling. His mind is screaming at him to back off, to get a grip and that he shouldn’t involve a good friend in his crisis, but he can’t let go.

“Yunho?” Changmin asks, too tired for formalities. It makes Yunho’s chest hurt even worse, but he loves it.

“Nothing, I’m just tired that’s all,” Yunho replies and forces himself to breathe calmly.

Changmin seems to buy his excuse and shifts a bit until he gets his pillow right. He falls asleep before Yunho does, his breaths becoming light and calm, but it doesn’t take long before Yunho also sleeps.

It’s a different sleep from before. His dreams are vivid and almost real, and Changmin is in them, each dream scenario more unbelievable than the last. In one Changmin is tantalizing and half naked, lying on a bed with white silk sheets. The room is bathed in warm sunlight that is filtered through white cotton curtains that move slowly in a breeze that Yunho cannot feel. Yunho finds himself standing by the foot of the bed, looking down at Changmin.

“Closer,” Changmin says, his voice low and sultry, “come closer.”

Yunho does. He crawls up the bed and straddles Changmin’s thighs, letting his hands touch Changmin’s naked torso. It’s firm under his touch, and smoothe. The hairs leading from Changmin’s stomach down underneath the waist of his pants tickle his fingers. Changmin draws in a breath underneath him and arches his back.

It’s filthy, and wrong, and Yunho is heady with lust. He dreams about them tumbling naked to a floor with a thick and soft carpet, feels Changmin’s naked skin against his and feels the pleasure from rutting against him. He’s so painfully hard that he hardly knows up from down, he just wants to get off, and Changmin’s mouth and body are open and so sweetly welcoming. He can feel it, his orgasm building up as they move against each other, Changmin’s heavy breath against his ear and their skin slick with sweat. He’s so close, so very-

The sound of his alarm drags Yunho back to reality and out of his sleep with a shock. He finds himself unable to move, his legs weighed down by Changmin’s leg, his body trapped by Changmin’s arm across his waist and his head on Yunho’s shoulder.

Yunho fumbles at the side of the bed, and finds the offending phone to turn the alarm off. His mind is still filled to the brim with the dreams, they feel real when the dreams haven’t had time to fade. It’s when he ponders this and tries to calm his racing heart that he realizes how his erection had not been a dream.

The embarrassment hits him like a bucketful of cold water. Changmin’s leg, slung over his thighs, suddenly feels a bit erotic. Changmin’s breath against his skin mirrors the hard and sometimes shuddering breaths he had taken in the dream, or the soft whispers against Yunho’s lips.

He needs to get out of bed.

It’s not easy escaping Changmin’s sleep-heavy grip, and when he finally does he’s started to sweat. He feels clammy and his skin prickles in discomfort as he walks barefoot on the cold floor to the bathroom, erection thankfully almost completely deflated from the feeling of panic creeping up from his guts. But the images remain burned into his corneas. Even as he stands in the pounding water of Changmin’s shower he sees it. Sees Changmin’s naked body beneath him, hears his voice, and these images get mixed up with real life. Suddenly he remembers all the times they’ve had to change clothes near each other, all the times Changmin has whispered something softly in his ear or touched his face. It lights a fire inside him that in the heat of the moment he forgets to put out.

Yunho stands there, surrounded in the scent of Changmin, and reaches down to stroke himself. It’s quite the opposite of what he had planned, but he can’t resist it. The more he remembers and imagines and the more those images mix with the heady ecstasy of the dream the more his body responds. When he comes, he comes suddenly and so intensely that he momentarily forgets to stay quiet. It’s his own low and pained whine that brings him back to reality as the pleasure of his orgasm has rippled through him.

This is Changmin’s bathroom, he thinks, this is his shower gel that I have just used and those are his towels. Yunho thinks that he’s never felt this guilty in his whole life.

~~~~~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Do we like? Do we hate? Leave a comment and let me know 🤭 You can as always find me on twitter @EmiLovesTaemin to shout at me/with me. Also, isn't Changmin's Chocolate dance tutorial just utterly ADORABLE?!?!?!?? 😍😍😍  
> Peace ✌️💜


	5. Or; All the Nerve-Racking Things About Being Attracted to You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _Who knew cats could be arsonists? Or that water pipes can actually disintegrate inside the walls? Or that floor heating can destroy wooden floors? Yunho’s apartment seemingly seeks revenge on him while he tries to solve yet another problem- the problem in question being the lonely life that his band mate Changmin is leading. Can Yunho fix his apartment, successfully survive living off of Changmin’s “couch”, AND find Changmin a date that sticks?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> DISCLAIMER: I do not claim that the events taking place in this story are real, nor do I own the characters, but the story is completely mine. This is not intended for commercial purposes. Please do not copy to another site without permission.
> 
> Here we go! Fifth chapter! This was the last chapter that I had any completed or halfway completed scenes for so now I'm going to have to write the end and not just edit and add scenes. So, once again, heads up for longer times between posting.
> 
> Before a rewarding victory there must be some troubles. Yunho has some troubles. Enjoy!

~~~~~

Embarrassed, guilty, but also determined, Yunho somehow manages to get through the next couple of days on autopilot. He’s constantly hyper-aware of where Changmin is, how they touch each other and what they say. It’s torturous but also very sweet, it’s not often in his life that he has felt this way and never this intense. But it also makes him worry.

Yunho wants to hold onto Changmin forever, he wants to always walk the same path with him however delusional that is. He knows that they’re just a singer duo by now, not really idols in the korean sense of the word. There’s nothing really profound about their working relationship, and Changmin has other friends than him. Friends that he often seems much closer to.

In spite of the reality of things, that they’re merely coworkers bound by the same contract, coworkers that have happened to spend almost half their lives together, he still wants to try to keep Changmin with him forever. That used to be much easier to imagine before, when he was merely a friend and someone he cared a lot about. A man that he at many occasions had called family, because families can argue but they still stick together no matter what.

Now, with a fist around his own hard cock every morning or evening in the shower... he’s having trouble visualizing a future like that at all. The image has faded and it’s morphing into something different. It scares Yunho, makes him hold onto Changmin even tighter than before, makes him hug him every now and then much to the chagrin of Changmin.

In the evening, if they’re not doing their own things, studying or answering emails or working out, they sit on the couch together and watch TV. Changmin with a drink of his choice, more often than not a glass of red wine.

“It’s a perfect drink for when it gets colder outside, it tastes like the sun” he’d told Yunho when he’d curiously asked why.

In the days they practice, go to meetings and record new MR tracks for their revamped performances. Yunho instinctively let’s his legs lean against Changmin’s, let’s their arms touch, sits so that their shoulders connect. The younger man lets him, although sometimes he looks at Yunho with those big brown eyes searching for an answer to a question that Yunho doesn’t even begin to understand what it means.

At night they sleep close together, Yunho notices that it’s not always he who draws Changmin in. Sometimes Changmin is the one to cling to Yunho.

Yunho is afraid that staying together with Changmin for the rest of his life, like this, might actually be very much impossible. Because Yunho might at any time regain his senses, and Changmin will most definitely fall in love and get married to a beautiful woman and then where does that leave Yunho? Will Yunho's jealously ruin the last remnants of their friendship then? He doesn’t even understand what it is that he’s feeling. He doesn’t understand what having any type of romantic or sexual feelings towards a man means. He’s afraid to find out.

Work is something he understands, and with the first award show coming up he has the opportunity to throw himself into work.

At some point he manages to force himself back into a kind of normality, he’s gonna be damned if his friends’ meddling will ruin the precious connection he had built with his Changmin.

That’s until something shakes him into action.

~~~~~

They’ve been practicing for weeks, the light show has been designed by top people, even the stage costumes are top of the line. Changmin wears a suit that’s such a deep burgundy color that it shifts into black, Yunho wears velvet black that sparkles under the lights. The suits have unusual cuts and Changmin’s jacket strategically leaves most of his chest bare. Yunho can hardly keep his eyes off him.

Yunho is certain, no he just knows for a fact that they’re going to kill it on the big Mnet Asian Music Awards stage that has this year returned to Seoul. That’s not why he’s nervous.

The nervousness, and the big gaping feeling in his stomach, comes when the Super Junior members flock to their dressing room before the show is about to start. They’d shouted a few hellos across the arena during rehearsals and soundcheck, but had been much too busy to greet properly. Now that they’re here, face to face, Yunho remembers about Siwon.

Donghae has got Yunho in a headlock that makes the stylists shout in protest, one of them even going as far as to hit him on the arm with a handheld mirror.

“Ouch!” Donghae complains, but all the while laughing.

“If you ruin my hard work I’ll hit you even harder,” the stylist bites back and Yunho laughs too.

“Don’t worry noona, I’m always handsome,” Yunho says to reassure her, but she keeps shooting darts with her eyes at Donghae.

“I went past SHINee’s area earlier and Key was doing his own hair,” Heechul says as he walks over, Yunho laughs harder as he imagines it.

Changmin, with Siwon happily trailing him, comes over too, “That means I should probably check in on Minho,” he says.

“Aww, you’re leaving already?” Siwon asks as he puts an arm around Changmin’s waist. It’s a hard grip, not at all caring about wrinkling Changmin’s stage wear.

If Yunho was a dog or a cat he’d be raising his hackles.

“Do you mind if I have my group member back?” Yunho asks Siwon with his jaw clenched. He smiles widely, trying to masquerade the sudden jolt of irritation that makes him reach out to grab Changmin by the wrist.

Changmin gives him a puzzled look, but Siwon seemingly doesn’t notice, he just pulls Changmin in tighter.

“You have him to yourself all the time, the rest of us don’t even have access to beautiful Shim anymore,” Siwon jokes, but Yunho has no plan of letting Siwon have his way. Instead he pulls harder on Changmin’s arm, and Changmin thankfully starts to wriggle loose from the grip around his waist.

It’s not until Yunho catches Heechul’s eyes with his that he realizes how weird this whole situation looks from an outside point of view. He’s acting like a child, pulling at Changmin’s arm while Siwon cluelessly smiles and plays along. Yunho tries to laugh it off in an attempt to divert everyone’s attention, but in reality he just draws more attention to the spectacle. Yunho can feel sweat gathering on his brow. Siwon still doesn’t get it, he whines a bit when Changmin yet again tries breaks free.

“H-hyung,” Changmin says with a deep breath, “will you let go?”

It’s not clear which of them he means, but they both do let go. Yunho holds on for a second longer than Siwon just to spite him. Even though the conflict exists only in his head, and he’s aware of that.

Changmin gives him a weird look before setting off towards SHINee’s changing area.

“Dude,” Donghae says as Heechul throws an arm around Yunho’s shoulders.

“My sweet dongsaeng, I think we need to talk,” Heechul says.

“I think he needs a cold shower,” Donghae interjects and turns to Yunho, “what's wrong with you? You never let Siwon get to you and suddenly you’re basically challenging him to a duel. In front of everyone!”

Yunho shrugs to get away from Heechul’s grip, and Heechul thankfully lets him.

Siwon has already sauntered off towards other unsuspecting victims, and Yunho doesn’t really care. Not even a bit, he just doesn’t like it when... when what?

Both Donghae and Heechul look concerned, as if he’s going to snap any second. He’s never made them worry like this before and it feels weird, even the stylists seem to notice something being off.

“I’m okay, it’s nothing I’m just a bit... wired up about the performances later,” Yunho reassures them, but also himself. He’s glad that Changmin actually left to go find Minho because Yunho doesn’t want him to see him like this. Sure, he’s always been pretty clear about the fact that he doesn’t like Changmin’s jokes about joining Super Junior, but this felt differently. Was different, in fact.

Heechul seems suspicious, but there’s no more time to slack off. Some of the managers arrive and start to politely, but firmly, ask them all to get moving.

“I’ll call you and we’ll talk,” Yunho tells Heechul. Donghae shrugs at them both.

“Just make sure you chill,” Donghae says.

“Oh you know him, you can’t keep him calm on stage,” Heechul says with a sigh.

They part in a long hallway, and he catches up with Changmin after a few bends and twists. It really does not help that Changmin’s legs are toned to perfection and that the muscles show through his suit trousers. Or that his chest is on display. It doesn’t have a calming effect on Yunho at all.

Despite all this, the evening gets off to a good start. The awards are handed out one by one, and the fans in the audience scream loudly for their favorites. There’s even a group to the left of the greenroom area that constantly wave their new TVXQ lightsticks. There’s also neverending bowing, and Yunho bows diligently to all the younger artists with a fervor that makes Changmin give him the familiar “hyung, you’re embarrassing me” look. It’s such a comforting look, since it means nothing at all has changed for Changmin even though Yunho feels completely new. 

Both their longer performance and their short stage handoff to SHINee goes great, Yunho couldn’t be more pleased. Even Changmin looks happy when they rush backstage to wipe some sweat and change their outfits.

“If you’d jumped harder I think the floor might’ve cracked,” Changmin tells him as they follow Yunho’s manager through the maze of corridors underneath the arena. He’s smirking.

“I was aiming for it to crack,” Yunho says. He’s being honest, and Changmin knows it because he laughs his adorable staccato laughter and grabs a hold of Yunho’s hand.

“I think they should call you passionate maniac of the stage instead of monarch of the stage, hyung.”

“Ha ha, very funny,” Yunho says but holds Changmin’s hand a bit tighter.

To be truthful he had barely managed to concentrate on the audience at all. He was glad that they had practised as much as they had the last few weeks because Changmin was distracting. His legs were distracting, his pecs, his arms, his hands, his hair, his face... his mouth. But most of all it was his voice that made Yunho’s heart skip a beat, and threatened to catch the breath in his throat. 

Walking side by side with Changmin while holding his hand is grounding him, it pushes the heated images from the stage to the back of his mind. An effect that is later spoiled when he sees the outfit that Changmin has changed into.

Yunho decides to have a word with whoever decided that a bordering on see-through wrap-around shirt would be appropriate for Changmin. Even the faux leather pants leave very little to the imagination.

Yunho feels overdressed in his suit jacket and pressed trousers.

At least he can focus on the jewellery in Changmin’s ear when he looks over at him. It stops him from looking at what could only be described as a very firm cleavage that is completely visible from Yunho’s point of view. They’ve ended up sitting in a mix of group members from different agencies in the green room area. Some disappear when they announce the winner of best rookie group. The EXO members fruitlessly wave in Yunho’s and Changmin’s direction from the other side of the green room and they wave back.

It’s in the empty seats left by the large group of young kids that Super Junior sits down as they come back from performing.

Siwon manages to get a seat next to Changmin, and some of the rest manage to squeeze their chairs in between him and Yuho.

“Keeping calm?” Heechul asks from his left. At least he has the presence of mind to cover his mouth with a hand as he speaks.

“Of course Yunho replies with a smile.

“So that doesn’t bother you?”

Yunho glances quickly to his right, managing to catch the sight of Siwon’s hand on Changmin’s thigh.

“Not at all,” he replies through gritted teeth disguised as a smile.

The cameramen that catch the reactions of the artists in the green room are thankfully filming the NCT boys.

“Jealous?”

“No.”

“Sure?”

“Yes.”

“You look tense tho-”

“Hyung, please,” Yunho pleads as the cameramen start moving.

“Okay, I won't mention your giant cru-” Heechul says but gets interrupted by Yunho firmly placing his heel on Heechul’s toes and pressing down. At least it makes him quiet down, even if Yunho generally doesn’t approve of violence against elders.

Luck would have it that after a new award is presented they’re all told to shift further into the green room as EXO leaves their seats to receive the award. Yunho finds himself rushing past the other Super Junior members, almost tripping an unsuspecting Eunhyuk, just so that he can intercept Siwon and snag the seat next to Changmin.

They don’t win any awards, but Yunho counts it as a victory that he manages to stay at Changmin’s side for the rest of the night.

Staying close to Changmin means that he gets to put his arm around Changmin’s shoulders as they sit and enjoy the performances. Changmin is naturally enjoying them more than Yunho, because Yunho can’t help but to think about how he and Changmin could do it more passionately. When Yunho frowns too much in concentration he gets poked in the side by Changmin’s elbow - it’s a reminder to relax again.

He can even enjoy listening to Siwon’s anecdotes from the spiritual retreat he’s been hiding in the last couple of months.

“I can’t believe he came back if he enjoyed the temple that much,” Yunho says against Changmin’s ear with a chuckle.

Changmin smirks a bit and leans closer to Yunho as well.

“I hear Lee Soo-Man had to climb that mountain himself and drag him back here,” Changmin says but has to take a pause while the crowd goes wild over some idol somewhere in the greenroom doing something menial like opening a water bottle, “apparently Siwon had started to like the priests a little bit _too much_.”

“No!” Yunho whispers in faux surprise and they both start laughing while collapsing against each other.

It’s a good evening.

When they’re in bed much later, at the brink of morning, he realizes that all he wants is to put his arms around Changmin and breathe in the scent of his freshly showered skin. He can hardly believe that he can close his eyes and hold Changmin against his chest and fall asleep to the sound of Changmin’s soft breaths. The waning high of the adrenaline from performing on stage sweetly mixes with the electric feeling of the warmth of Changmin’s body against him.

~~~~~

Waking up with Changmin’s hair tickling his nose isn’t as annoying as he would’ve thought it’d be a month ago. It’s a nice way to wake up. He’s not aroused, nor is he panicking - he is just breathing in the warm smell of Changmin and his shampoo, and tries not to fall back asleep again. He remembers the hot jealousy he’d felt surge up in him yesterday, but it feels distant now. He feels foolish even for having acted like he did. Yunho has always had a hard time understanding why Changmin stands him as much as he does. They’re not the same type of person. Yet, right now they’re breathing at the same pace.

He has let go of the guilt of the past a long time ago, and he knows Changmin has too. It’s not the way their group split into two that worries him. It’s the fact that Changmin followed him into military service and gave up his opportunity of a solo debut. It’s the fact that Changmin wants so many things that Yunho can’t even begin to understand. It’s the fact that Yunho is a man, and even if Changmin swings both ways there’s no way that Changmin can have all those kids he’s dreamt of if Yunho keeps him all to himself.

Those worries gnaw at him, and some of those worries have been gnawing at him for years.

Changmin wakes up.

“Good moni...” he mumbles but the words get lost in a yawn. He’s so close. They’re both on their sides, facing each other. They’re in their own warmly lit bubble, and ambition be darned, Yunho never wants to leave this bed ever again. It’s not a realistic wish, but his heart aches with it.

Changmin’s eyes are a bit puffy from sleep, his hair is sticking up in all sorts of directions, and his lips are chapped and dry - but Yunho just wants to soak up everything about him. He wants to draw him in and breathe him in and make Changmin a part of himself. It’s such a strong urge, and it borders on obsession. Yunho knows this. Knows his tendencies to fixate on people, knows it is one of his most unhealthy habits - but surely, if it’s Changmin then it’s okay.

Yunho’s hand acts on its own, Yunho sees it move but feels as if he’s experiencing everything in third person. Maybe it’s the fact that he’s just woken up and this unreal feeling will pass. Maybe the bubble they’re in will burst soon. He takes a shaky breath. It feels like sparks of electricity start from his fingertips as they connect with Changmin’s cheek. They travel up his arm and take over all of his senses. Yunho bites back the noise that travels up from deep inside of him.

“When did you become so clingy?” Changmin asks, sleep still making his voice soft and muddled. Yunho shivers a bit as Changmin’s jaw moves, and lets his hand cup the side of Changmin’s face. He lets it rest there carefully as if he’s holding something precious.

“I’ve always been like this,” Yunho replies.

“I don’t know, not with me,” Changmin says and frowns. He looks wide awake now, and his eyes fill with concern. Yunho’s heart is suddenly beating at a painful rate, his throat feels tight and he can neither speak, nor swallow the feeling away.

The moment is almost painfully broken as Changmin sits up, and Yunho has to let his arm fall to the bed.

There’s no warmly lit bubble to revert back into. Reality is a cold morning outside the bedroom window blinds and a man sitting on the bed with his face buried in his hands. Changmin has his back turned towards Yunho in this position.

The green an icky monster inside him rears its ugly face. It rises inside him like bile from his stomach.

“So it’s okay when others touch you, but when I do it it’s bad?” Yunho asks.

He instantly regrets it when Changmin’s back stiffens and he turns around to look at Yunho again. The frown is there, but so is that special brand of anger than Yunho used to see a lot more of before their roles had cemented themselves. It’s an anger that evokes memories of betrayal, desperation, jealousy, guilt and all those things that used to define their relationship for all those years after the group split up. It’s nauseating, having those things flash before his eyes, and paralyzing. He’s not jealous now, just afraid that if he moves it’ll push Changmin over the edge. It’s not what would ever happen, it’s unrealistic in their current position, but back then it hadn’t been. Back then they had been an inch away from ever surviving in the industry every second of the day.

“You really have no idea at all,” Changmin says, voice tight and clipped.

“No, I really don’t,” Yunho replies as he sits up too.

“Then let’s keep it that way, and you can stop asking questions that you don’t want to know the answer of,” Changmin says and gets up, throwing the duvet to the side. He stalks off to the bathroom where Yunho can hear the shower turn on. Yunho is left on the bed, and this time it’s his turn to bury his face in his hands.

Things are... not good after that.

They keep it professional at work, and Changmin pointedly ignores Yunho’s pleading looks in the car that morning, and he sits as far away as possible from Yunho during breaks in dance practice. He talks to everyone else, jokes, smiles and is his good old self - but doesn’t look Yunho’s way even once.

No one seems to notice, which worries Yunho even more. What if this is how it’s gonna be from now on? What if Yunho has finally broken every last piece of tape holding the shattered pieces of their friendship together? Will everything they’ve meant to each other fade away into this farce-like act?

Yunho is close to desperation when Changmin leaves the apartment that night after having spent an hour on the phone with Kyuhyun. Yunho had stayed in the living room with the TV on high volume, trying to respect Changmin’s right to privacy as he sat in his study and spoke to his best friend.

He doesn’t know how to fix this, he has no idea how he even broke things in the first place.

“I’m going to meet up with Kyuhyun,” Changmin says as he comes from the bedroom and heads for the fridges.

He’s wearing a wrinkled hoodie that almost swallows him whole. Yunho rarely sees him looking disheveled.

“Okay,” Yunho says after muting the television.

“I won’t be back tonight,” Changmin says while taking things out of the fridge. There’s clinking sounds of glass bottles and a rustling sound of plastic bags coming from over there.

Yunho swallows down whatever pathetic and desperate words he is just about to spill and tries to sound casual instead. Maybe with a tinge of worry in his voice, but not too much that it’ll make Changmin spook.

“Isn’t Kyuhyun busy with... service?” he asks.

“It’s Saturday,” Changmin says as he closes the fridge and heads out of the kitchen.

“Ah,” says Yunho. And then Changmin leaves.

Yunho flops back onto the couch in pure frustration, whines and grumbles for a bit, before he feels the now very familiar sinking feeling in his guts. He _has_ to fix this, no matter what. Even if he’s gotta beg on his bare knees and prostrate himself on the floor. There’s no other way.

Needless to say, he doesn’t sleep even for a minute that night. At one point he tries to get some rest on the bed since he’s gotten so used to sleeping there now, but he feels even worse lying there all alone than he had done on the couch. He keeps seeing these visions of Changmin coming back home only to pack his bags and leave. In some of them he tells Yunho how much Yunho disgusts him, in others he cries and says he never thought Yunho would lie to him this way. It’s all just self-flagellation and mind ghosts, completely made up from Yunho’s overactive imagination and sleep-deprived brain, but he still feels the effects of it.

When the sounds of the front door breaks his endless spiral of scenarios where Changmin has had enough of him he almost trips over himself running out into the hallway.

The opened front door reveals a very tired looking Kyuhyun keeping Changmin on his feet by an arm around his waist.

“Hyung,” Kyuhyun says with a pant, his face strained and red from exertion. He must’ve half dragged Changmin from the elevators.

“I’ll take him,” Yunho says and hurries over so he can grab Changmin, who’s very obviously super drunk, and let Kyuhyun catch his breath.

“Thanks,” Kyuhyun says and leans on the door frame with a hand against his chest, “I didn’t realize a drunk person is so much heavier than a sober one.”

“Yeah,” Yunho agrees. He’s not sure how to relate to Kyuhyun right now. He’s jealous again, jealous that the one Changmin goes to when he needs advice is to Kyuhyun. Yunho isn’t even second on the list because he’s pretty sure that Changmin would go to at least a handful of other people first before asking Yunho for help.

Kyuhyun is unaware, luckily, of his train of thoughts.

“I’ll leave him to you then. He wouldn’t tell me what was grinding his gears so much that he had to come see me but it must be something to do with you since he’s been spending an awful lot of time with you,” Kyuhyun says after having caught his breath.

Changmin is like a sack of potatoes in Yunho’s arms, his face unceremoniously smushed against Yunho’s neck.

“We had a disagreement,” Yunho says. Kyuhyun snorts.

“What?” Yunho asks, feeling himself bristle a little.

“It’s just typical of you two. Try to communicate next time, he’s too heavy to haul back and forth across town every time you two have a lovers quarrel,” Kyuhyun says and waves goodbye. The door falls shut behind him long before Yunho manages to think of something to reply.

And now he’s got a whole new problem at hand.

“Changminah,” he says with a sigh, “you’re gonna be so mad at me in the morning.”

Yunho has experienced Changmin’s epic hangovers before.

Changmin mumbles something against Yunho’s neck that sounds alot like “I’m just sorry,” but the words are muddled together so he can’t tell for sure. It makes his heart skip a beat though, just the thought that Changmin might regret them falling out too. Maybe he can salvage this thing yet.

He undresses Changmin partially, not completely because he’s not a creep, and tucks him into bed. Even if Yunho would want to stay in the bedroom and watch Changmin sleep so he can make sure he’s alright he decides against it. He’s _not a creep_.

It’s a long night, and an even longer morning, but he sits on the couch and watches the shopping channel with the sound turned down really low so that he can listen for sounds in the bedroom. Around six am there’s a thud. Quickly followed by another thud.

When he reaches the bedroom he finds Changmin sitting hunched over on the edge of the bed, and the water bottle he had left on the bedside table has fallen and rolled across the floor. That accounts for the thuds at least, Yunho thinks, and clears his throat to make his presence known.

“Hyung,” Changmin mutters to his knees and shrugs a bit before standing up.

Yunho darts forward to stop him. Or help him. He doesn’t know what he’s about to do.

“I’m fine,” Changmin says and holds a hand up between them. His face is pale and his eyes are swollen, he’s not really fine at all. He still stinks of soju for one.

“I’m sorry, Changmin. I wasn’t being fair,” Yunho says and pulls Changmin in for a hug. Changmin lets him, and relaxes against him. This time his face isn’t accidentally pressed against Yunho’s neck, he rests it there almost... Yunho shivers as Changmin’s breath tickles his skin. He doesn’t let himself follow that train of thought, he doesn’t trust himself with these reactions anymore.

“It’s okay, Kyuhyun said I’m an idiot for getting angry with you. He’s right, I know you too well to get angry,” Changmin says and it might be selfish but it feels like a weight has been lifted from Yunho’s shoulders. If they were both overreacting then it makes the problem a lot easier to solve. None of the dramatic things he had imagined all night need to happen.

“You should always tell me when I’m being stupid, it’s your brand,” Yunho says instead of many other things he could say.

Like, please never leave me again.

Those words, passionately felt, stay unspoken.

~~~~~

Changmin’s hangover is epic and it’s a good thing that it’s a Sunday and the schedule they had can be easily cancelled. No one is ever upset about getting a Sunday off. Yunho spends the day smiling stupidly at Changmin as he staggers around and frowns at everything, even his futuristic coffee machine, as if they’ve personally offended him. They both take a long nap on the bed, and Yunho wakes up when Changmin accidentally slips his hand under Yunho’s T-shirt and lets his warm hand rest on his stomach.

It’s adorable, but also a bit dangerous the way Yunho’s skin feels tight and hot where he touches. He stays still for a few moments, but moves away after that. He goes to take a shower and to order some food.

Changmin comes sneaking into the kitchen when the smell of fried chicken spreads through the apartment. Things are good after that. Things go back to normal after that.

Normal meaning that they keep sharing a bed, keep cuddling, keep leaning against each other, keep hugging, keep being close. Normal meaning that Yunho has a harder and harder time reeling himself in. His dreams are sometimes still so vivid that he has a hard time looking Changmin in the eyes on those mornings after he’s woken up. He still can’t help but to bring himself to orgasm in the shower on those mornings, trembling under the warm water.

This kind of normal, however much he craves for it, needs to stop.

He’s still trying to figure out how to tell Changmin that he’s moving back to his apartment after it’s been a week. 

It’s almost as if he’s a teenager again with raging hormones and little to none control over his body or mind. Especially on a day like this one where they’re posing for a magazine cover shoot, in very close proximity of each other. At one point their faces are so close together that Changmin’s face is blurred and out of focus. They’re breathing the same air, their torsos are pressed together. It’s an intoxicating and excruciating kind of experience where Yunho is afraid he’s the biggest loser of them all. The shots look absolutely beautiful when they look at them on a monitor during a break where some assistants are setting up a new set. Changmin’s ears are a bit red, and Yunho thanks god that he’s got quite a lot of makeup on because otherwise his burning red and burning cheeks would be plain to anyone to see.

The next set is worse. They’re on the floor together in a mess of limbs and half-opened clothes. Yunho isn’t quite convinced that this isn’t some kind of softcore porn in disguise, but he also knows these kinds of photos sell like hotcakes and it makes sense that they want those sales for their January issue.

It doesn’t make it easier to not completely lose himself in Changmin’s beautiful brown eyes. Or stop himself from moving a little too close, or from fantasizing how it would feel to wrap Changmin up in his arms and kiss him now that he’s got Changmin under him.

Yunho is very grateful when the shoot is over and they’ve just got the interview part left. Until after they’ve thanked everyone for their hard work and bowed in every imaginable direction and Yunho realizes he’s unconsciously staring at Changmin as he’s undressing in their changing room. Yunho’s trousers feel uncomfortably tight after that.

The interview is yet another hurdle.

The theme is intimacy.

“Thank you both for being here,” the pretty journalist in front of them says. They’re sitting on a couch in a quiet corner, opposite from where the journalist, Ms. Kim, is sitting. There’s a few respectable inches between them, but it’s close enough that Yunho can imagine feeling Changmin’s body heat radiate across the gap.

“Thank you for having us,” Yunho replies. Then it’s right into the deep end.

The questions are direct and frankly very personal. What is intimacy to you? Who are you intimate with? Can intimacy be platonic? Can men be intimate with each other? Yunho has trouble even imagining half the context that is needed to reply. Changmin is a step ahead of him the whole way through the interview, leading him into calm waters.

“Of course men can be intimate,” Changmin says in his typical matter-of-factly way, “we can talk about breakups or dreams with each other. That is intimacy, is it not?”

Ms. Kim nods and agrees, “do you agree?” she asks Yunho.

“I think for men it can sometimes be easier to tell those very private things to other men than it is to tell a woman. Maybe except your mother,” Yunho answers and earns a small chuckle in response.

“So what men are you intimate with?” she asks and Yunho can’t stop himself from immediately looking at Changmin. Changmin is luckily not looking in his direction, he’s busy smiling his very best smile towards Ms. Kim.

“My friends, most definitely, and Yunho-hyung. He is my partner after all,” he says.

Ms. Kim starts looking between them as if she’s watching a tennis match.

“Yes of course! They call you husband and wife after all, ” she says with pure delight.

Yunho braces for it, he wishes he could look away from Changmin but he can’t. He knows the comment is about to happen, the casual joke that Changmin is going to make to smooth it all over, to make the marriage remark seem quite ridiculous. But instead he just beems at the woman sitting opposite of them and nods.

“It’s the best intimacy after all, the one between a husband and a wife,” Changmin says.

Yunho has severe problems forming any ideas of his own after that, he was following Changmin’s lead before but afterwards he might as well have been a parrot. The conversation keeps replaying in his head. My partner Yunho, husband and wife, it’s the best kind of intimacy. My partner Yunho... the best kind of intimacy. It’s in his head as they thank her for the interview, as their managers usher them out to the company car. It’s in his head as Changmin’s manager tells Changmin it’s good he’s finally decided to take the lead in interviews sometimes.

It’s as if the world has only stopped for Yunho, but kept turning for everyone else. He is jolted back into reality when Changmin digs out a book from his bag and settles against Yunho’s shoulder to read. Maybe nothing has happened, maybe Yunho has just imagined things. Because Changmin is acting just the same as before, not even noticing the way Yunho has stopped functioning.

If it’s not a big deal, then Changmin must’ve meant it in a different way. Yunho has just put too much meaning into innocent words. He has interpreted his own feelings into what Changmin had said and it has skewed his anticipation of the outcome. It’s now really very clear to Yunho that he definitely must move out before he makes a really big mistake.

~~~~~

He thinks about ways to tell Changmin throughout the entire car ride back into the city. To be honest they’re more ways of convincing himself he has to pack his bags than it is telling Changmin, because Changmin will most likely be relieved to have his bed, couch, closet and bathroom cupboard back at his own disposal. He thinks about it in the elevator, and while he waits for Changmin to unlock the front door.

“I’ll start dinner, you go get a shower. I don’t want all that makeup rubbed off on my couch,” Changmin says as they take off their shoes and enter the apartment. It’s so casual and domestic that Yunho’s heart aches with it, and Yunho does as he’s asked.

They eat the dinner Changmin has prepared. It’s a steak and even though Yunho has had more expensive steak he’s never tasted one this delicious. Changmin sips his red wine slowly, and Yunho drinks from Changmin’s glass of water. He steals some of Changmin’s veggies from his plate. All the things Changmin allows him to do with a perplexed or annoyed face. Things that Yunho is so grateful for. He doesn’t know how he would ever live without these small details. All those concessions Changmin makes in order to accomodate Yunho’s odd habits are the things that make Yunho the most happy. 

Falling in love with Changmin, or realizing that he loves Changmin, is the same thing. It's one agonizingly sweet procedure. Yunho thinks that it's as if his eyes have always been covered with thin layers of plastic wrap, and now, when Changmin smiles at him, cooks for him, looks at him, laughs, speaks, moves, unconsciously traces the line of his own jaw with the tips of his fingers - each of those times a layer is peeled away from Yunho's eyes. Or his heart.

Either way, with every layer that is removed he sees it more clearly, with less and less distortion. He feels it more clearly, and his heart swells and beats, until there's very few layers left. Changmin, sighing and breathing softly against Yunho's chest as they tangle up in bed that night rips the last few layers of plastic wrap from Yunho's sight, and the epiphany, the "I love Changmin" realization, has grown on him sweetly and softly.

Yunho loves Changmin. But he has no idea what to make of it. And he must move out.

It turns into a mantra that gets him out of bed in the morning, that stops him from lingering and hugging Changmin so close that he can feel his heartbeat. It gets him into the company car that takes him to a charity project he’s been working with, and then to his own apartment.

His landlord is very happy to see him again, reassuring him that they’ve kept the heating on and that he’s been checking in on the apartment now and then while Yunho has let it sit unused. So that no more pipes have burst or walls fallen down.

It looks better than before the fire. The colors are more modern, and the materials too. It doesn’t look like he’s bought the place from an older man anymore, even the kitchen has had a face lift. Everything is renovated after Yunho’s tastes so it should feel like home, yet it feels like a dead and empty space. Those years he’s spent in this apartment have faded already, and the memories seem like half-forgotten photographs of family gatherings where he can’t recognize half the relatives. It doesn’t feel like how it feels with Changmin in his white castle of glass in a top modern apartment building.

Yunho slumps against one of the fresh new walls and holds his head in his hands as the world spins around him. I love Changmin, he thinks, but I must move out.

When he returns to Changmin’s apartment that afternoon, it’s with the intent of finally cutting the ties. He’s doing Changmin a favor, really. The result of his project to find his friend a girlfriend speaks loud enough. He had made Changmin so uncomfortable that he had most definitely given up dating just to avoid Yunho’s weird and obsessive reactions. Yunho is fixated, he is deluded. He keeps telling these things to himself. He repeats the mantra in his head. I love Changmin but I must move out. He repeats it as he takes off his shoes and places them to the side next to Changmin’s. He repeats it as he enters the apartment and spots Changmin in the kitchen, bent over the stove.

I love Changmin but I must move out.

Changmin’s voice is soft and sweet as he greets him with a smile over the shoulder, before returning his concentration to the sauce he’s stirring.

“How was the charity meeting? Did they like your idea?” Changmin asks.

“It went fine, they liked the fun-fair theme for the kids,” Yunho says and leans against the fridge as he watches Changmin’s back.

It’s so well-proportioned, his shoulders are so wide, his smile is so beautiful. Yunho can’t really stop what happens next. I love Changmin, but I must move out, he thinks as he walks over and hugs Changmin’s back. He wraps his arms around him tight, so that maybe he will never have to let go. He buries his face in the crook of Changmin’s neck and just breathes. I love Changmin and I must move out.

“Hyung?” Changmin asks, worry clear in his voice. “What is going on?”

When Yunho doesn’t reply he turns the stove off and turns instead. He catches Yunho’s head between his hands, and forces Yunho to look him in the eyes.

Changmin’s eyes are so warm and so brown that Yunho wants to just once drown in them. I love Changmin and-

He leans in and kisses Changmin softly on the mouth.

The kiss is chaste, but it’s the best kiss of his entire life. He can hardly hear for the loud beats of his own heart, he can only feel Changmin and wrap his arms around him. His whole body is on fire with the kiss and he hardly even notices how Changmin has gone stiff as a board.

But he does eventually sense it. He breaks the kiss and leans back, and when he looks at Changmin’s face he feels his heart break into a thousand tiny pieces.

-and I must move out.

He should’ve listened to his own mantra. Guilt, shame, embarrassment, it all comes crashing down on him again. He’s forced himself on Changmin from the start, needled his way into his bed, into this odd intimacy between them. He’s used their dependency on each other against Changmin. This is sexual harassment at the work place, Yunho thinks. He flinches back and away from his maknae, his junior that he has just taken advantage of. Changmin looks so shocked, and so confused, that Yunho knows it’s true.

So he runs.

“Oh god, I’m sorry-” he says, choking on the rest of the words, and flees the apartment.

~~~~~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 👀 Even though I had some completed material for this chapter I had to write almost 5000 words in the end. This was a big one 😂 How do you guys like it? Are you guys ready to find out what happens next? Please leave a comment or a kudos to keep this steam engine motivated and running✌️💜 You can find me on twitter @EmiLovesTaemin to see me fangirl over Yunho and Changmin on a daily basis.
> 
> P.S. Isn't Changmin's "Me, Myself & I" video just about the most adorable thing you've ever seen?! 😍


	6. Or; Home Is Where Your Heart Is

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _Who knew cats could be arsonists? Or that water pipes can actually disintegrate inside the walls? Or that floor heating can destroy wooden floors? Yunho’s apartment seemingly seeks revenge on him while he tries to solve yet another problem- the problem in question being the lonely life that his band mate Changmin is leading. Can Yunho fix his apartment, successfully survive living off of Changmin’s “couch”, AND find Changmin a date that sticks?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> DISCLAIMER: I do not claim that the events taking place in this story are real, nor do I own the characters, but the story is completely mine. This is not intended for commercial purposes. Please do not copy to another site without permission.
> 
> Hello everyone! We're getting closer to the finish line in a slow but steady pace. I thought I'd take the time to let everyone know that recently I have been thinking a lot about the fact that many readers find sex scenes quite unnecessary - so I've decided that there will be no actual sex scenes in these seven chapters. I do however have some _things_ planned which will go into an epilogue instead. So for those who like the sexy times - don't worry- you will be fed 😘✌️
> 
> Now that we have the general announcements out of the way, here is the sixth chapter where Yunho has gone missing. Enjoy!

~~~~~

Where to start... in the beginning? Changmin doesn’t know when it began. Couldn’t tell you when his feelings subtly shifted from admiration to like to love even if he tried. Most of the time he doesn’t even think about it. Time has erased the bruises and the scars on his friendship with Yunho. No, not their friendship because they are not friends in that sense of the word. Relationship perhaps. Partnership.

Sometimes he can feel that dull ache left over from those years when he wanted Yunho so fiercely that he from time to time hated him. But it’s a faded sensation, like an echo or a gentle ripple on the surface of water. He still loves him, but when he looks at Yunho now it’s with a warm and settled feeling in his chest, not much different from how he feels about his family or his friends. That’s what he’s categorized it as anyway.

So when Yunho shows up on his doorstep, asking if he can stay in Changmin’s apartment, it’s not very odd that it’s not on his mind. He’s not constantly and actively thinking about the fact that he has loved this man for most of their 16 years knowing each other. It’s a memory tucked so far away in his mind that not even singing love ballads to each other on stage causes any emotional distress in him. It is rationalized and compartmentalized, it is not important anymore.

That’s how he had looked at it for a handful of years now, and the instability he had felt during his military service had cemented that mindset. 

He can forget that he loves Yunho, as long as he doesn’t have to miss him.

All those passionate yearnings and desires are no longer his. Which is why he agrees to having Yunho as a roommate. Or why he has no objection to having Yunho as a roommate.

Not even sharing the same bed jolts any of his old and faded emotions to life again. It’s all fine, for most of the time. But then again he also has a tendency to forget the utter chaos that follows Yunho wherever he goes.

Yunho sets up blind dates for him, and it hurts. For the first time in many years he feels that no longer familiar feeling of the clenching of his throat and the pain in his heart.

Yunho clings to him, and Changmin lets him, and that pain is turned into something sweet and warm.

He can lean on Yunho, he can hug him and touch him and pull him close in the night. Before he knows it, those dull and colorless feelings he barely remembers he had for Yunho are back in bright technicolor and very much burning him up from the inside.

Maybe if I can have this for now then it’s okay when Yunho finally leaves, he tells himself and shuts his eyes against the truth. He starts building walls around his heart again so that he can keep being happy.

Things rarely go as you plan. Especially not when Changmin one day finds himself passionately wrapped up in Yunho’s arms.

Changmin has never been more shocked in his entire life. Sure, Yunho does many strange and sudden things with that special brand of confidence that only he possesses, but this is so far removed from the reality Changmin thought he lived in that he simply freezes. Yunho, his straight as an arrow Yunho, had just kissed him.

Their lips had touched. He had seen Yunho closing in, he had somewhere in the back of his mind understood what was happening but hadn’t been able to move. And now that the kiss is over, and when the sensations flash through his body as if delayed by his shock, he’s at a total loss of words.

Why? Why now? How? Why?! The questions explode in his mind, but before he can ask them he sees the shattered look on Yunho’s face.

“Oh god, I’m sorry-” Yunho says, and then he leaves.

“Eh?” Changmin says into the quiet apartment. What the fuck had just happened?

Yunho. Brilliant, passionate, handsome, silly, messy, and loyal Jung Yunho was... what? Gay? Bi? Changmin had long since forgotten the dinner he had been in the middle of making. He couldn’t care less right now.

Who even does something like this? Changmin’s confusion is replaced with annoyance, but only for one second before he realizes he has trouble swallowing the panic rising inside him. Being in love with Yunho from a distance had been safe, and long gone were the days when it frightened him. This is something different, this is a development he had never dreamed to imagine.

Yunho has always been needy, he knows this, so it didn’t seem strange to him when Yunho clung to him some days. But kissing, that’s not being needy. He rubs at his face with his hands and tries to get his thoughts in order. He swallows again and again but there’s something lodged in his throat. Maybe logically he should want to ask Yunho why he had kissed Changmin, yet somehow he’s afraid to. 

Before he knows it he’s pacing back and forth. Even though he tries collapsing on the couch and lies there face down trying to feel sorry for himself he only stays there for a minute before he’s up walking again. Seoul is turning dark outside the windows.

It’s always come naturally for him to worry about Yunho, just as naturally as it is to look up to Yunho. And to be in love with him.

He walks over to the kitchen and tries to salvage dinner, but the pasta is a cold lump in the pot and the sauce has congealed in the pan. So he cleans the pots and pans and throws away the failed dishes. The problem is that after he has done all this, and after he has wiped all the surfaces there’s nothing left to distract himself with. 

Yunho still hasn’t come back, and soon it’ll be nighttime. Worry trumps his pride, and he surrenders to the constantly growing need to find out exactly what had happened.

He swallows his pride and starts scrolling through the contacts on his phone. The living room is dark where he sits on the couch and realizes just how few of Yunho’s friends that he’s actually on a first name basis with. Or how few he’s even able to contact. He deliberately skips Son Ho-jun, it’s not that they don’t get along whenever they do meet. It’s more like Changmin doesn’t want him to have the satisfaction to know that Changmin has screwed up again - just like he used to do when he and Yunho still lived together and Yunho would complain to Ho-jun about Changmin’s illogical outbursts. Changmin is not the same kid he used to be, but it’s still embarrassing.

The problem is that even though it’s awkward to call Yunho’s friends and ask if they’ve seen him around it’s also very unrewarding. None of them have spoken to him regularly these past weeks, and he’s not with them right now. Changmin tries calling Yunho’s phone when it’s clear that he’s not out with the boys somewhere trying to blow off steam. He’s sent straight to voicemail.

If he wasn’t worried before he sure is worried now. Yunho would never ignore him like this if something very bad hasn’t happened.

Changmin is back to panicking as he dials Heechul and hopes that he might have a clue to where Yunho has gone, they have been conspiring together lately after all.

“Ah, the infamous Choikang Changmin, what can I do for you?” Heechul greets him when the call connects.

“Hyung, I’m sorry to disturb you all of a sudden like this,” Changmin says, a preemptive apology to butter Heechul up. He makes sure his voice is calm and carefree because this is a very critical moment. If Yunho is with Heechul then he doesn’t want to let him know how distressed he is. And if Yunho isn’t with Heechul then he doesn’t want to worry Heechul, or give him reason to believe that he’s done something bad. Rumors spread at light speed in the SMTown family.

“No problem, you can always call me, Changminah,” Heechul says and at least his happy tone is calming Changmin down for real.

“Hyung, have you talked to Yunho hyung today? He went out and I think his phone has died...” Changmin says and let’s the rest of the explanation fade out as if he’s a bit distracted. Heechul hums and seems to be looking at the TV or something that occupies his attention.

“No, haven’t heard from him. Has he been gone long?” Heechul asks.

“Oh, he had meetings and work today so I’m not worried. I just wondered if he’d eaten or not,” Changmin says and has to wince at how clingy he’s sounding. It’s almost as if-

“You know, all those jokes about you two acting like a married couple really did come true,” Heechul says and laughs. Changmin sighs.

“Hyung...”

“Yeah, yeah. I know. I’ll stop. If I hear from him I’ll let him know that you’re looking for him, okay?” Heechul assures him, and Changmin is forever grateful that even though Heechul jokes and teases he’s one of the most reliable people he knows.

“Thank you, Heechul-hyun,” Changmin says and the call ends on that kind of good note.

The problem is that he still has no idea where Yunho went.

After he’s messaged some other people in the agency that Yunho is close with he’s out of people to contact too, and he doesn’t want to call Yunho’s sister or his mother because there’s probably no reason for them to be worried in the first place. Yet. Calling Boa just plain scares him so that is also a big no for now.

It’s really a blessing that his phone starts buzzing all on its own as he sits there in the dark and feels very, terribly, sorry for himself. The caller ID tells him that it’s Minho that’s calling him, and he surprises himself at the relief he feels just from the fact that his friend is calling him.

“Minho...” he halfway sobs as he answers the phone.

“Changmin? Are you drunk?” Minho asks with that dead serious voice only he can produce.

“Yunho hyung is missing and I don’t know how to find him. I really screwed up, Minho. I think I really scared him away,” Changmin says and cries really big and watery tears that makes him feel like a sad and melodramatic character in a drama.

“What did you do?” Minho asks.

“I don’t know, Minho. That’s the problem,” Changmin takes a shaky breath but the tears keep coming, “you can’t tell anyone about this.”

“Of course I won't, hyung. Tell me what happened.”

The fact that Minho is starting to sound worried makes Changmin’s throat feel tight and it makes his voice crack in a very undignified way, but there are more important things to think about than his image right now.

“He came back home from a meeting and I was making dinner. Then he hugged me really tight and I got worried, so I turned around. He wouldn’t look at me so I forced him... and then he,” Changmin gets up and starts to pace again.

“Yunho kissed me,” he says as quickly as he possibly can, just to get it out of the way. His face is burning with embarrassment that he doesn’t even know why he’s feeling. Minho won’t judge, he never would. But there’s something so incredibly private about his and Yunho’s relationship that it really does seem a bit wrong to talk about it with anyone else except Yunho himself. It’s always been like that, and it’s not only Changmin that has fiercely protected their privacy - it’s been a mutual instinct that both he and Yunho share. It’s one of those many things that they never talk about.

Minho, on the other hand, doesn’t seem very surprised.

“U-huh, and then what? Did you hit him?”

“Minho!” Changmin chides him, what an outrageous idea.

“It’s just, you always seemed so uptight about how he feels about you,” Minho says.

Changmin’s brain stalls.

“About... Minho you’re not making sense,” Changmin says and all he can feel right now is dread.

“I mean, hyung, it’s pretty clear. He’s like super-duper in love with you. It’s the biggest gay crush in the company - everyone knows about it,” Minho explains. He says everything in such a matter-of-factly way that Changmin is left completely stumped. Yunho, in love with _him_? The biggest gay crush? Has the world gone completely mad these last 24 hours?!

“That’s why I thought it was super weird when he and Heechul started setting you up with blind dates,” Minho continues completely unaware of the way Changmin is staring furiously at the phone as if Minho would be able to see it, “but I figured you’d turned him down once and for all and he wanted to make a big thing out of how he was the bigger man and could deal with it or some kind of macho weirdness. Honestly I was not very nice to him when I came over that time. I’m sorry, hyung.”

“Minho, are you saying that _everyone_ knows this?,” Changmin asks. He’s starting to feel like he’s been living in the wrong reality as this time.

Minho doesn’t reply straight away, which does nothing for Changmin’s mood.

“Well, hyung. Except you, I guess.”

Now if this isn’t ironic. Here’s Changmin been harboring romantic feelings for his straight work partner all these years and then it turns out everyone’s been convinced it’s the other way around. Changmin lets out a choked laugh as he stands in the middle of the room with one hand in his hair making a complete mess out of it, and the phone on speaker in the other hand.

Minho seems just as confused as him at this point.

“So you didn’t reject him? And today he kissed you and then what? He left?”

“Yeah,” Changmin confirms. His laugh has turned a bit hysterical.

“Changmin... would you turn him down if he confessed to you?” Minho then asks.

That’s the core of the issue, isn’t it. If Yunho had stood there as Changmin held his head between his hands and asked him what was wrong, if Yunho had said those three terrifying words instead of kissing Changmin, would Changmin have accepted his feelings?

The answer to that question comes from Changmin’s heart. He knows it almost before he has asked the question. He knows in every fiber of his being that whatever Yunho asks for he has to give him. He gave him his apartment, his bed and his embrace - and Changmin wouldn’t even blink if he was asked for his heart. He’d blush and squirm, it’d be terribly embarrassing, but he’d say those three terrifying words too.

Because he’s loved Yunho for half his life. He doesn’t know how to not love him anymore.

“I’d-,” Changmin starts to say, but he chokes on what has transformed from nervous laughter to sobs again.

“I love him too, Minho-ah,” Changmin says, and he can’t stop the tears from falling once again.

“Then go find him, idiot,” Minho replies. He sounds very stern and sure of himself, all of the things Changmin can’t relate to right now as he’s trembling like a leaf.

“If you love someone you grab a hold of them and you never, ever, let go,” Minho adds. Changmin can feel Minho’s infectious determination mellowing some of his own fear. Suddenly he feels a bit brave. Yes, that’s true. If you love someone you can’t ever let go. He definitely doesn’t want Yunho to let go, if he really is in love with Changmin however crazy that sounds.

“I’ll find him,” Changmin says.

“Darn right, sorry hyung, but yes! Go find him!” Minho agrees.

“If it all goes to hell I’ll come over to your place,” Changmin jokes as he’s hurrying out of the living room into the hallway and grabs a jacket from the closet.

Minho laughs and says one last thing before hanging up. Sometimes he really can be very cheeky, Changmin thinks.

“Don’t you even think about it. I won’t open the door for you.”

The _’don’t you dare to fail’_ is left unsaid, but Changmin knows it’s what his friends means.

Changmin feels brave now, and determined. Minho is right. He shouldn’t have let Yunho run from the apartment in the first place.

~~~~~ 

Changmin scares some neighbors in the elevator, they look at him as if he’s a strange and possessed man that might just as well be carrying an axe. He doesn’t really care, he knows that hardly anyone cares that he lives here in the first place. He only cares about the number one thing on his agenda and that is to find his runaway bandmate. Or the other half of their duo, as things stand.

He checks the parking garage first, but his car is still there which means that Yunho didn’t use the spare key. The fact that the car is still there is somewhat comforting in its own way because how far can an upset Jung Yunho even get on foot? With his kind of recognizable face he’s definitely not gone by bus or train - which leaves him taking a taxi or walking somewhere.

Not that Changmin knows every single thing about Yunho, he clearly doesn't considering that they have their completely separate social circles, but he does know some of his absolute favorite places to go to. So Changmin gets in the car and heads out into nighttime Seoul as he plots a list of those places in his head.

He goes to Yunho’s favorite bar first, the one where he can sit for hours in the semi-private lounge and just talk, never actually drinking anything except the ridiculous strawberry juice they have on the menu. The bartender says he hasn’t seen him for months. Next up is some of the restaurants they all frequent. Nothing. He goes to the cafés he’s been to with Yunho lately, the book store, the galleria with the bowling alley and the arcades. Nothing. Not a sign of a tall and distressed Yunho.

Changmin is spotted by some fans while he’s walking down a street to where he parked the car, but he’s beyond caring at this point.

After going to those places and many more, he finds himself sitting in the car with his forehead resting against the steering wheel. Maybe he should give up, maybe it’s for the best that he calls his manager and lets him know that he’s retiring. Changmin thinks that he might as well if he’s the one responsible for losing golden boy U-know Yunho on his watch. Heads will be rolling when management finds out Yunho has gone back to Gwangju and is refusing to ever work with Changmin again. And if not then Changmin’s head will explode either way.

He throws the last stubborn remnants of pride out of the window and writes Ho-jun on Kakao to check if Yunho is with him. The twelve minutes he waits for a reply are the worst twelve minutes in his entire life. No, scratch that. He’s had worse, but none after 2006.

Ho-jun hasn’t heard from him either. Changmin’s stomach drops.

So this is it. He leaves Kakao and finds himself stalling as he looks at the homescreen of his phone. He doesn’t have a photo there since it’s impossible keeping anything private if you keep it in plain sight on your phone, but he sees his own haggard reflection in the polished glass surface.

There’s only one place left where he can look, one place that he has never actually visited. He’s sat in a car on the street by that address several times, but he has never been invited in and he’s never asked to visit Yunho there either. Looking back at it now makes it seem odd. Had he been jealous of Yunho’s apartment? Changmin sighs and enters the right neighborhood into the GPS and sets off into traffic once more.

He finds the right street without much trouble, and once he gets out of the car it’s not hard for him to find the right gate. The problem arises when he tries to figure out which of the buttons by the gate will call Yunho’s apartment and not someone else’s. It’s late at night by now and most people will be asleep. He finds the one simply labeled “Jung” and tries that one. There isn’t an answer even after the third attempt.

This whole business has turned out to be so incredibly depressing that Changmin almost doesn’t want to keep trying. He leans his back against the gate and runs his hands down his face. He’s driven here and there, all over Seoul, just to find Yunho - and he’s not even close to figuring out where he’s gone.

Just as he’s feeling very depressed indeed, there’s a sound from behind the gate, and then it starts to give away behind his back. He quickly stands up and turns, heart in his throat.

Only, it isn’t Yunho opening the gate, it’s a man in his 60’s wearing a pajama and a bathrobe.

“Are you the one that’s been calling 3B this whole time?” the man asks while looking Changmin up and down.

“Ah, yes, I’m sorry, I was trying to contact my friend. I didn’t mean to call the wrong house,” Changmin apologizes quickly and bows his head. The man surprises him by laughing instead of cursing him out.

“It’s okay, I just see the lights go off on the new security system. So you’re the other famous one, I recognize you from the posters my daughter had on her bedroom walls,” the man says and reaches his hand out.

Changmin looks up, still surprised for some reason, and takes his hand. The handshake is strong and quick, very professional.

“I’m-, yes I’m the other one,” Changmin replies with a feeling of incredulity. This is the most grounding interaction with a person he’s had all day. “Nice to meet you...?”

“I’m the landlord,” the man says, “Choi Byungho.” Changmin nods his head again in acknowledgement.

“I’ll put you out of your misery right away, he’s not here. Hasn’t been here since the accident other than to look in on the renovations. The apartment has been ready for weeks now, you know, but something else has kept him away,” the landlord, Mr. Choi, explains.

“If you ask me I think it’s because he’s got a girlfriend hidden away somewhere, you know, not that it’s a bad thing. A man at that age really should have started a family already,” the man continues, but Changmin’s head is filled with other warm and hard-to-pin down thoughts.

Yunho’s apartment has been finished for weeks. He’s stayed with Changmin all that time, not saying a word. Changmin can’t think of the last time he’s felt this warm and alive.

Then, as if by magic, the phone in his hand lights up. It’s Yunho calling. It’s plain as day, _Yunho hyung_ it says. Changmin accepts the call faster than he’s ever answered any call or any phone.

Mr. Choi gives him a very amused look.

“Hyung?!” he says only partially aware that he’s sounding like a desperate man.

“Ah, excuse me, but I’m calling from this gentleman’s phone,” a female voice replies, and Changmin almost jumps in surprise, “he’s had a bit too much to drink at my tent bar, so I think he needs someone to come pick him up.”

The woman sounds very sorry to ask this of a stranger, but Changmin couldn’t be more ecstatic. He gets her location and apologizes to Yunho’s landlord as he rushes off again. Mr. Choi just laughs and heads back behind the gate again.

Changmin starts the car and drives off with a huge sappy grin on his face.

He’s found Yunho.

It’s a joy that culminates when he gets close enough to see the pojangmacha tent bar and the ungainly tall shape slumped across a plastic table. He parks his car on a calmer sidestreet and halfway runs and halfway walks over there. Heart in his throat.

The lady proprietor comes to greet him, they bow at each other.

“I’m really sorry for the trouble, but he was really adamant I’d call you instead of a taxi. Are you his brother? You’re as tall as him,” the lady babbles on as Changmin just nods and tells her it’s not a bother at all.

Yunho is asleep, he’s wearing a padded coat, looking impossibly small and cold in the night air. Changmin sighs and grabs one of his arms and hauls him onto his feet. With one of Yunho’s arms across his shoulders, and one arm around Yunho’s waist, he manages to keep him on his feet.

“I gave the phone back to him, it’s in his pocket,” the lady reassures him.

“Thank you so much for your trouble. My friend here had a tough time at work today so... well,” Changmin says and almost bows again but has to abort mid-movement since keeping a drunk and tired Yunho on his feet is quite a task.

The pojangmacha lady looks confused.

“I thought I called his house, I called the number listed under ‘home’ as he asked me to,” she says.

“Oh, yes, we’re roommates,” Changmin explains and smiles before he starts walking Yunho away from her. He doesn’t really need her to ask more questions. Luckily they both look like they’ve been through a wringer, otherwise she would’ve figured out right away that they’re famous.

He can’t stop thinking about it though, as he manages to get Yunho to sit in the passenger seat, as he fastens his seat belt, and as he drives off. Yunho has put his cell phone number down as _home_. Home.

~~~~~

Yunho wakes up in the car during the ride back to the apartment. Changmin catches him moving in the corner of his eye, and looks over. He’s stretching slightly, then he blinks several times, seemingly trying to figure out where he is.

“Changdola?” he asks. His voice is warm and low in a way that makes Changmin’s skin tingle. The fact that Yunho is very drunk is very annoying at this point, although it’s somewhat cute.

Yunho is so very rarely in the mood to drink alcohol so it must mean that he definitely is in the middle of some emotional turmoil considering Changmin.

“Yes, hyung. I picked you up and I’m taking you back home,” Changmin explains and smiles at Yunho. Yunho smiles back.

“Good, I want to go home with you,” Yunho replies and falls back into a drunk slumber, his head resting against the window of the passenger side door. A circle of condensation appears and disappears on the glass with every breath he takes. Changmin does his very best to stay concentrated on the traffic instead of just staring at Yunho’s adorable nap.

As far as sappy moments go, this is definitely one of the more ridiculous ones, but Changmin doesn’t care. He happily helps Yunho up on his back for a piggyback ride from the car to the elevator once they’re back home. He is still smiling when he helps Yunho to the bathroom and as he waits outside the door. Yunho is now sober enough that he can slowly move on his own.

“Don’t scare me like that,” Changmin chides him as they’re walking to the bedroom afterwards, Changmin’s arm is around Yunho’s waist.

“I just didn’t want to be that yucky dude, you know,” Yunho says against Changmin’s shoulder. His breath is warm and Changmin can feel it even through the hoodie he’s wearing.

“You would never do something I couldn’t forgive you for,” Changmin replies and holds Yunho a little tighter.

“Okay, you’re always right Changdola,” Yunho softly agrees. It’s not an exaggeration to say that Changmin’s heart swells and beats an extra beat at that. He loves all the adorable and submissive traits that come out when Yunho is tipsy - and Yunho is positively drenched in cuteness now that he’s drunk.

It’s easy to get Yunho to take off his trousers and socks, and to maneuver him into bed - because he happily, albeit slowly, does every single thing Changmin tells him to. A heady experience for Changmin to say the least. But the moment is so sweet that the edge is soon smoothened and dulled into something more soft.

Changmin doesn’t think he’s ever felt as whole as when Yunho is finally asleep on his bed after muttering all sorts of confusing things into Changmin’s chest. He feels happy too. The talk that they will definitely have to have when they wake up feels very far into the future. He falls asleep with Yunho in his arms as if it’s the most natural thing in the world, and the most right thing, which - in his humble opinion - it is.

~~~~~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I can't help but to giggle as some kind of weirdo when I re-read this chapter before posting. Do you all like it as well? Since I usually write stories from the point of view of just one character I felt it was necessary to let Changmin have his time in the spotlight as well - to balance things out. Was it a good choice? Let me know your thoughts in the comments 😊✌️ If you want to see me fangirl on a daily basis then you can find me on Twitter as @EmiLovesTaemin 💜
> 
> P.S. Changmin is spoiling us rotten with all the new content lately, like the video of him sipping wine and cutely chatting. And if you haven't watched the Stacy Nam interview with him for iHeartRadio yet then what are you waiting for??


	7. Or; Sweet Home 30th floor Apartment

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _Who knew cats could be arsonists? Or that water pipes can actually disintegrate inside the walls? Or that floor heating can destroy wooden floors? Yunho’s apartment seemingly seeks revenge on him while he tries to solve yet another problem- the problem in question being the lonely life that his band mate Changmin is leading. Can Yunho fix his apartment, successfully survive living off of Changmin’s “couch”, AND find Changmin a date that sticks?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> DISCLAIMER: I do not claim that the events taking place in this story are real, nor do I own the characters, but the story is completely mine. This is not intended for commercial purposes. Please do not copy to another site without permission.
> 
> So we have come to this point... wow. You know, after this fanfic was put on ice one and a half years ago or so I didn’t think I’d ever finish writing it. Even if this story doesn’t have a major ground-breaking impact I’m super proud of it and I feel like I’ve actually accomplished something for once. This is by far the longest fanfiction I’ve ever written, by myself that is, and I love this monster of a fanfic. I apologize for the long wait before this update, my glasses broke (and apparently I’m blind as a bat without them) and it took awhile to get them fixed. Without further ado, here follows the last and humble chapter of _Love Thread_.

~~~~~

Yunho wakes up in a miserable state wishing he could forget everything that had happened in the last twenty-four hours. Wasn’t that how booze is supposed to work? You drink until you forget and then you take the hungover as punishment. You don’t drink all that vile stuff and then remember every excruciating second of how you basically molested someone who’s extremely important to you. But he _does_ remember everything that happened the day before, and now he’s feeling extremely bad about it. It doesn’t make things better that he’s been carried back to Changmin’s apartment by Changmin himself. Or that he’s slept in his bed again.

At least he hasn’t had to face Changmin since his drunken stupor, but he can hear him out there beyond the bedroom.

Running away had been a very dumb thing to do, Yunho can admit to as much. It had given him time to panic much more than he’d ever panicked before. That was not a good thing because it had made it unbearable to do a single thing about it. He couldn’t go back to Changmin and explain, he couldn’t stomach seeing the feelings he imagined would be painted on Changmin’s face. Disappointment, betrayal, anger, annoyance, confusion, regret, all of those feelings were what Yunho imagined to be felt by Changmin. It didn’t matter if it was realistic or not - the paranoia took a strong grip around him and refused to let go.

At some point of the evening he’d wandered down a very grey and cold street and had come to the conclusion that maybe this was the end of TVXQ. If he couldn’t face Changmin again, if he would forever feel this disappointed in himself, then there was no future for them working together. All these very sad and destructive scenarios flew through his head over and over again in a dizzying carousel of self-hatred that he never experienced. Self-doubt yes, occasionally, but never this kind of festering and corrosive goo.

So for once in his life he had felt the strong and unwavering urge to get drunk and forget about everything. Which is what he had attempted to do. The circumstances surrounding how Changmin had found him and why he had brought Yunho back to his apartment were a bit fuzzy.

It didn’t matter much in the end, because Yunho’s head was killing him and the nausea was urging him to stay in bed for a while longer. But he had to get up.

It was a slow process, but he finally managed to untangle his legs from the sheets and sit up. His head spun a bit. Once the world was still again he stood up. It was an even slower process to get to the bathroom, to brush his teeth, avoid the haggard look on his face in the mirror, and to take a shower. He managed to stay upright and on his two feet by sheer force of will as the sound of the shower made his head pulse with pain. After he had gingerly dried himself he borrowed some of Changmin’s sleep clothes and chucked his own ones in the hamper. When he was all done, his face moisturized and as fresh as it could be when the hangover made him pale and bloated, he found himself at quite a loss as to what to do next.

His gut instinct was to run again, but he easily swatted that thought away. He was an adult and he was going to act like one. It was time for a talk.

The walk out of the bedroom was easier than he had worried it would be, and once he caught sight of Changmin standing by the stove as he had done the day before his steps felt much lighter. That’s the way Changmin made him feel, as if nothing was impossible.

Changmin must have sensed that someone was looking at him, because he turned and smiled one of his bright and mismatched smiles.

“Good morning, hyung,” he greeted Yunho and leaned his hip against the kitchen counter.

Yunho moved closer.

“Good morning,” he said and rubbed at his freshly shaven chin. He knew he looked like death warmed over, but Changmin didn’t seem to care or notice.

“I’m really sorry about yesterday,” Yunho continued as he came to stand by the breakfast bar, “about all of it really.”

“You keep apologizing...” Changmin says with a sigh.

Oh, Yunho thought. He might’ve kept apologizing before falling asleep. The memory of that part of the night was annoyingly the only blurry part.

“Of course, I have to. I made you feel uncomfortable, and then you had to come and pick me up when I was drunk. That’s a lot to apologize for,” Yunho says.

Changmin nods, but turns back to the stove to move a clay pot of boiling stew or soup from the stove. There’s a rice cooker on the counter, and some side dishes already set up on the breakfast bar countertop. Yunho realizes that Changmin has cooked for him.

“I made hangover soup,” Changmin says. Yunho has to move aside when Changmin moves the boiling hot soup from the stove to the breakfast bar. He can’t help but to think how good Changmin looks in the warm morning light.

“Sit. Eat,” Changmin commands as he pulls a chair out for himself and starts to sip a tall glass filled with something green and smoothie-like.

Yunho follows the commands.

The soup is delicious and washes away most of the nausea and headache he had felt, and when he’s had a few spoonfuls of rice he feels even better. He glances at Changmin sitting there to his left, gracefully holding the glass he’s drinking from with one hand as he flips through a pile of papers with production schedules and other stuff Yunho feels completely out of touch with at the moment. It doesn’t take long before Yunho can’t manage to eat more, there’s a limit on a hung-over stomach.

Yunho sits up straight, and gathers some courage.

“Changmin-ah-” he starts, but quickly loses his courage.

“Yunho-hyun,” Changmin replies. He’s meeting Yunho’s eyes now, the glass and the papers are forgotten by his hands.

“There’s something I have to tell you,” Yunho continues with a stomach full of butterflies, which he genuinely prefers above nausea.

“I haven’t been completely honest with you. The truth is that my apartment was finished weeks ago, and I really could’ve moved to a hotel suite instead of taking advantage of your kind heart - but I didn’t because I’ve realized that I wanted to stay here with you,“ Yunho swallows to clear his throat, and looks down at his own hands that he’s wringing in his lap, “I didn’t realize it before, just how much I miss you. I didn’t even realize _why_ I miss you until not long ago.”

Changmin sits quietly while watching him spill his guts, Yunho can feel his eyes on him.

“I think... I _know_ now that-”

Wow it’s hard to get this out, Yunho thinks and frowns at his own hands.

“That you have a crush on me,” Changmin suddenly says. Yunho looks up at him so quickly that he almost hears his neck crack.

Changmin is smiling softly, and his voice is sweet and comforting. Yunho’s heart swells and grows in his chest with so many warm emotions that he loses track of them all. It must show on his face, because Changmin’s smile grows wide and happy in response.

“I do,” Yunho agrees, “but it’s more like love,” he adds.

Changmin’s cheeks and ears turn an adorable shade of red.

“Love,” Changmin says and sighs, “hyung, I have said it before and I’ve acted as if maybe it didn’t mean what it means, but I love you too. I’ve loved you since your teeth were crooked and your hair was a mess. I think I always did,” Changmin says, and Yunho knows he must look like a desperate sap but he reaches over and pulls Changmin into a hug either way.

He doesn’t exactly know when he started crying, but he feels all the tension of these past weeks, and the last twenty-four hours bleed out of him and wet the fabric of Changmin’s T-shirt. It’s not a one way hug either. Changmin’s arms are wrapped tightly around his shoulders.

“Hyung, I don’t like to say it, but you’re a fool,” Changmin says against Yunho’s hair. His voice sounds just as shaky as Yunho feels.

“You love me too,” is all Yunho can say as he sobs a bit more, finally allowing himself to just bask in this happy feeling. Is it a dream? Is it real? He doesn’t care at this point, he wants to keep hugging Changmin forever.

He wants to kiss Changmin too. He wants to wrap him up in his arms and kiss him until both of them are desperate for air, but he keeps his face carefully placed at the crook of Changmin’s neck and waits for the fire to pass. He also needs to stay in Changmin’s arms forever and melt into one gooey pile of love.

“Of course I love you, you silly man,” Changmin agrees, “and according to Minho you have quite a reputation for your, and I quote, _giant gay crush_ on me.”

Yunho laughs, and reaches up to wipe the last tears from his eyes with his hand. Minho is lucky that Yunho likes him, otherwise he’d be in danger now.

“I think Boa implied something similar,” Yunho says as he eases out of the hug so he can look at Changmin. Changmin who is still smiling, although a bit wobbly at this point. His pretty eyelashes look a bit damp.

“Why aren’t you angry at me, Changdolah?”

It’s almost too good to be real, really. He can feel Changmin’s heart beating just as hard as his own through the thin cotton fabric of their shirts, so he knows this isn’t just some feverish dream. It’s just that Changmin usually gets angry at him when he’s done stupid things, and he really feels like he deserves getting yelled at a bit - if only to lighten his own consciense.

Changmin however doesn’t seem to care about any of that.

“Shut up, fool,” he says, and that’s the only warning Yunho gets before Changmin leans in and kisses him.

If Yunho had to describe the kiss it would be with all the big and bright words he knows. Amazing, mind-blowing, perfect, beautiful, glorious, hot, heavenly, dazzling, intense... the list goes on. It’s all the clichées of fireworks going off, and then some. Changmin’s soft lips move over his just right, their heads tilted so the kiss can deepen, and when Changmin’s tongue swipes at Yunho’s lower lip he thinks he might actually be melting for real. He can’t control the sound he makes, and the moan he lets out echoes defiantly in the apartment. Changmin doesn’t care, he just pulls Yunho in closer by his waist and kisses Yunho until he’s dizzy and soft around the edges.

“God, I’ve wanted to do that for a long time,” Changmin says against Yunho’s lips when he draws back almost panting for air. His voice is low and raspy, sending chills down Yunho’s spine. It’s a bit too much for Yunho, and he feels some kind of burning desperation take over.

“Don’t stop,” Yunho whines and closes the gap between them again. He never knew a mouth could be so intoxicating. Changmin chuckles but obliges and they kiss and kiss over and over again. The rest of the breakfast grows cold and forgotten.

~~~~~

There’s been quite a few times when Yunho has found himself about to fall in love without a person only to realize that they don’t like him back. It has made him a bit cynical perhaps. Or pragmatic. That’s what setting up those dates for Changmin had been - a very unromantic way of ending the question of Changmin’s status as an eligible bachelor. Because a man with an apartment made out of glass and light on the 20th-something floor must surely be in want of a girlfriend. Only, Heechul had been right. Yunho had been projecting.

If anyone had been lonely then it would have been Yunho. And the reason why he had found it impossible to even consider checking into a hotel after his apartment had been damaged had been the simple fact that Yunho was lonely. Super lonely to be precise. Hindsight is twenty-twenty, but Yunho wishes he had figured some things out sooner rather than later. Like the fact that he had slowly fallen in love with Changmin over the years without noticing it himself. Well, he had noticed how he had grown more and more dependent on him. How Changmin’s opinion of him mattered more than anyone else’s. Yunho would be the first to admit that he’s not very good at realizing when he’s falling in love, only he didn’t have to when everyone else was constantly saying it for him.

Like tonight when Heechul is draped over the couch in the living room, completely unaware of the fact that everyone else has retreated to the kitchen or the dining room table by now.

“-and then, of course, I knew this was going to happen. Like, I’ve known Yunho for aaaages. He’s so obvious,” Heechul keeps saying as Yunho sits on a chair with his chin resting on his hand, arm propped up against the armrest.

“Yes, hyung,” Yunho agrees and laughs.

“I’m so happy for you two, and I’ll gladly kick the butt of anyone who says something mean to you,” Heechul continues. He’s said this too about six times already.

“Thank you, hyung. I appreciate it,” Yunho says and pats Heechul’s outreached hand with his own. When he looks up he spots Ho-jun making his way over. Yunho instantly sits up straight and gets up from the chair. Heechul looks over his own shoulder to see what Yunho has reacted to, and smiles widely when he sees who’s coming over.

“Ho-jun-ie,” he coos, and Ho-jun visibly blanches. Yunho can’t stop a laugh from bubbling up, even though he’s a tiny bit nervous.

“Heechul-shi,” Ho-jun greets him back, and then he looks at Yunho, gesturing away from the living room with his head.

Yunho gets the picture.

He shows Ho-jun into the study, and closes the door behind them. When Changmin had decided to invite some people over, Yunho had known that at least one of the guests would want to have this talk with either of them. If he’s going to be honest he’s glad that he’s going to be the one having this talk, since he’s the one that has been creating drama in Changmin’s life lately and not the other way around.

He wasn’t even all that surprised that Ho-jun was going to be the one who wanted this particular talk either. Even if Yunho had always tried to be honest with his friends he knew that the information they got was biased from his point of view. 

“So,” Ho-jun started to say, looking around at the bookshelves, and the bedroom beyond. To his credit his eyes didn’t linger on the bed, he looked surprisingly relaxed.

“Thanks for coming,” Yunho says, figuring that getting the niceties out of the way right off the bat is as good a way to start as any.

Ho-jun’s eyes return to Yunho.

“I hope you know what you’re doing,” Ho-jun says. He doesn’t look particularly worried, or disappointed. He gives Yunho this neutral look that makes Yunho’s nervousness overflow in an instant.

Yunho feels his shoulders stiffen, as if he’s bracing for impact. It’s almost a reflex, the way he’s thinking he’s gonna get criticized, but Ho-jun surprises him instead.

“I know you’ll be facing some difficult situations in the future, but you should know I’m behind you a hundred percent on this,” Ho-jun continues. Yunho finds himself speechless, so he just nods.

“Don’t give me that look,” Ho-jun complains, and leans back against the desk.

Yunho blinks.

“What look?”

“I know I’ve been hard on Changmin in the past, but he always seemed to make you so upset. When other people hurt you you forgot about it pretty quickly, but when you had a fight with him you always took much longer to bounce back. I didn’t realize it was because you...” Ho-jun pauses, gesturing in the air with his hands in search of the right words.

“Love him. I love him,” Yunho adds. It doesn’t feel embarrassing to admit it, or to say it out loud. It sounds normal and _right_ and Yunho’s chest fills with all sorts of warm emotions.

Now it’s Ho-jun’s turn to nod. He doesn’t look defeated, and he doesn’t look uncomfortable from Yunho’s confession - he just looks exactly like the good friend he’s been to Yunho through all the years they’ve known each other. It’s very touching, and Yunho feels so happy that he thinks he might soar off into the sky any second.

“Thanks, mate,” Yunho says with a smile so big it makes his face hurt and puts an arm behind Ho-jun’s neck, pulling him into a hug.

“Eh, it’s nothing, just keep doing stupid things and everything will work out great,” Ho-jun replies and pats Yunho on the back. It’s as simple as that.

They join the others soon after, but not before Yunho has had the time to think how amazing his friends really are. He’s had so much support around him these past months, even when he’s been doing stupid things, that he concludes he’s surrounded by the best people ever. The kind of people who inspire him to be an ever better person himself that support everyone around him no matter what. It’s a new and passionate resolve of his that will make Changmin sigh and whine when he tells him about it later. The kid that will make Changmin say things like “hyung why do you go over the top like that, can’t you just keep it at a normal level?” while not so secretly actually admiring his ideas.

Yunho feels much lighter for the rest of the party. He stands glued to Changmin’s side with an arm around his waist, endlessly beaming wide smiles at everyone he talks to. Changmin isn’t much better off himself. When Changmin had decided that they had been holed up in the bedroom together for too long, he had texted a bunch of people to bring drinks, and then he’d laughed when Yunho pouted at him. Yunho definitely hadn’t been a fan of it, not when there was all this fresh new real-estate on Changmin’s body that he was allowed to touch. Definitely not when he’d only had Changmin all to himself for a mere day. But now he was glad that Changmin for once was the social one who’d dragged him back to reality and grounded them.

It’s almost unreal to him, the way he can stand side to side with the man he loves and feel those first electric vibrations of new and exciting feelings - at the same times as friends and co-workers chat with them and seem genuinely happy for them. It’s a heady cocktail of happiness and sensation that has Yunho more drunk than any beer or soju he could find in Changmin’s vast fridges.

When Heechul has been hauled home by Minho with the biggest and most supportive smile out of everyone who had came, the apartment goes ghostly quiet. The others had filed out one by one, so the only things left are empty cans and bottles strewn here and there on tables and countertops. Yunho, happy and tipsy on love, has let himself be pushed up against the hallway wall by Changmin.

“So, boyfriend,” Changmin teases, and Yunho shivers in anticipation.

“Want to try the guest bedroom bed tonight?” Changmin asks in a low and sultry voice as he’s nibbling at Yunho’s ear. He seems extra tall like this, when he’s covering Yunho’s entire body with his. It’s making Yunho’s skin feel too tight, and heat is rising up from low in his belly. He’s not turned on enough to shut down his brain completely though.

“Guest bedroom?!” Yunho asks.

“Yeah, what do you take me for, a cheapskate? Of course the apartment has an extra bedroom,” Changmin answers and chuckles a bit before starting to kiss his way down Yunho’s neck.

“Wait, I slept in your bed this whole time and you never once told me you have another bedroom.”

“Uh-huh,” Changmin says, his thumbs tracing Yunho’s skin above the waistline of his jeans. Which was distracting Yunho quite a bit.

“The door next to the big closet,” Changmin adds and sighs happily as Yunho runs his hands up across the nacked skin of his muscled back underneath the T-shirt, “remember, I’m the one who’s had a crush on you for over a decade. We’ve shared everything before, sharing a bed wasn’t a big deal.”

Yunho couldn’t help but to laugh, he leaned the back of his head against the wall and let his body shake with it. All that tension, all his worrying and stressing over his feelings these past months, how easy it could have been resolved if he had just talked openly about it with Changmin.

“What?” Changmin asked. He had paused his kisses and was standing back just far enough that he could focus his eyes on Yunho’s face. His brows were drawn together in a cute frown that made Yunho’s heart do an extra beat. Oh how he loves this tall, beer loving, city princeling.

“Nothing, I just love you too,” Yunho says and pulls Changmin back into a kiss that makes them both cling to each other with more urgency than before.

Yunho makes a mental note to send flowers, and salmon, to the neighbors who’s cat had nearly set the entire building on fire. He would always be eternally grateful that his apartment had gotten so badly damaged that he had run straight to Changmin’s home - now Yunho’s home too.

**~The End~**

**~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~♡**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I want to say thank you again to the people that have read, left kudos, bookmarked, commented, and to the people who have also given me lovely feedback on twitter. The story-line is now concluded - we have reached the end, mes chéries. I hope you have enjoyed the journey we have gone on, following these two lovable and tall men through some _complications_ and a lot of confused sweetness. I hope that when these seven chapters are read as a whole they translate as the romantic lil' story I had imagined 😊💕
> 
> I have some things planned for an epilogue, and some good old erotic moments that I cut from this last chapter to avoid alienating the story from readers too much. So if you appreciate _the sexy times_ then you have another update to look forward to. Thank you again, to current and future readers - I hope this was an enjoyable experience!!! 💜
> 
> If you want to keep up with this generally confused author then you can find me on Twitter as @EmiLovesTaemin 😘✌️


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